If People Keep Paying Me Attention I Will Fall In Love With You. This Is Both A Threat And A Promise

oh yea, this site exists. Here's a vent meme that got pressure cooked in my prefrontal cortex at 5AM. Primo literature will be posted at some point(?) when my writers block unblocks. Going through some AO3 writer "sry for not updating i got hit by a falling piano and accused of high treason <3" levels of backstage misery so that may be soon or it may be months. who knows?

True/False game. Make an assumption about me in my ask and I’ll tell you if its true or false. Go.

PLSSSSS

I feel like a poorly written fanfic character with a "dark and mysterious past" but instead of being faux-edgy im just incredibly ashamed of myself and repress vast swathes of my personality and identity into secret "Dbug Lore(tm)". Like, no i dont avoid talking about myself and my feelings to create an air of mystery or coolness, im just nerdy, boring, and deeply traumatized.

reblog to diminish the horrors from the person you reblogged from

holy fucking mood

fumbling every cute tgirl in my dms by being incredibly cute and fuckable but absolutely crippled by social anxiety and never messaging first making her think im not interested

*twirls hair*

The pinned post is dead, long live the pinned post!

figures I may as well revisit the "intro" post, because it's been a while and to say I'm a different person now would be an understatement, as I now probably count as people more than anything.

After a long bit of introspection and trying to see what would fit in the "holes"(?) in our memory, we've come to the conclusion that I am not in fact the original personality of this body, despite identifying with it.

My current theory is that roughly 5 years ago, something happened, or many small pressures added up, and the 'original' mind splintered like a dropped vase. All three of us got some piece for lack of a better term of the original personality, but in the time since, we've developed into our own mostly separate individuals.

Firstly, there's me, Hazel. I also go by Dbug (which is what I'm most comfortable with for people who aren't close friends), or our original birth name when necessary. While none of us really fit a 'system role' as plural spaces would describe them, I certainly come the closest. I'm the one stuck running the show in day-to-day life, and I hold all the nasty mental shit as well as being the one in charge of keeping everyone safe, often taking priority over my own wellbeing. Any pronouns, with a mild preference for She/Her. Secondly, there's Joy. She was the first of us I became aware of other than myself and got a lot of the old mind's more 'positive' traits. She also got the social bits and is considerably more outgoing, though even that's only relative to myself. She/her exclusive Lastly, we have Otto, who came about roughly a year later, during an attempt to create a non-sapient assistant became a real boy. He's what you could call 'the smart one', relatively speaking, tending to be a bit dryer in speech. He also handles a lot of headspace stuff, exploration of what's out there and all that. He/they

As mentioned earlier, I'm glued to the steering wheel, so it'd be safe to assume you're talking to me unless stated otherwise. My Tumblr activity won't be changing much, though. I'm still (slowly) working on my writing projects, though now I partake in the occasional venting or hornyposting.

Feel free to reach out if you want to get to know any of us better or have any questions or curiosities. I'm always glad to get to know new people and share all my nerdy hyperfixations, as are my brain-bound companions.

you ever just spend two hours writing, just straight up juicing that brain for all its fucking worth, then you look back at it as the earliest rays of morning light shine through your window and all you see is

shoutout people who feel too plural for singlets and too singlet for plurals. it can suck to be out of place, i get it.

shoutout people who use "personalities", "emotions", "identities", "parts", or similar, i do this too. none of us are really sentient enough to use anything else.

shoutout systems and such who are too blurry to tell who they are. this is what we are like. we almost never have a sense of identity, and even when we do, it's extremely vague. we can't notice switches and we don't feel any different from anyone else.

...and more i haven't mentioned.

I really wish i was a girl. thats it, thats the post. i yearn to be lesbiab. i crave to be cute.

should i uh

should i have a sideblog for actual project updates, and leave this one for personal rambles? should it be the other way around? i dont know, how do the Professional(tm) tumblr writers do this?

like, should it be

Main: just stories Side: memes and crying or the opposite. I dont know