Me Taking My First Binder Break And Placing A Stitch Marker On My Chest For A Second And I See The Return

Introduction post

Dear Reader,

Welcome to this blog, if you enjoy your time here, there is something fundamentally wrong with you. Let's be friends.

My name is Reid, I am 20 years old and I am genderfluid. I am a white, agnostic, pan-romantic on the ace spectrum INFJ-T. I will make sure that, if any, there will only be sfw interactions on this blog and I DNI with the following user types: homophobes, transphobes, racists, pedophiles, SWERFs, TERFs, Zionists, anti-Palestine supporters, anti-Ukraine supporters, Pro-Trump supporters, Pro-Putin supporters, minors.

The general posts that will come up on this blog will be whatever is in my head that I want to let out, most likely about my likes and hobbies, reposts of things I relate to and support, and that is all that it will be for now. I do write fiction, for myself, that I would like to post someday, but until then, I will just let the stories marinate in it's sad gayness.

I like reading, specifically fantasy and action, queer media especially. I actually started this blog because I read Solitaire by Alice Oseman. When I'm not reading, I'm crocheting and listening to music, my taste generally changes but I am a Swiftie at heart. My theme song is a tie between Dear Reader by Taylor Swift and Disenchanted by My Chemical Romance. This is most likely the type of riveting posts you might see in the future if you would like to be mutuals :)

I have stated it before, but I want to make a clear note here that this blog is meant to be for myself, and have a place to be when I don't want to be "me-offline". This is going to be somewhat of my safespace, it just happens that I thought it would be a fun little life choice to increase my carbon footprint and put my thoughts on the internet. The thoughts that will not be responding to any hate, and that support the ceasefire and freedom of Palestine.

Thank you for reading this post, and getting to know me a little, it would be nice to know other like-minded people on here, so you're welcome to DM me any time. Enjoy the rest of your time on Earth, goodbye.

From, Reid ✷

Edit: Lately I've written a lot about my home life, but I want to write about the happy things more than the bad things now.

I fucked me over with seeing an edit of that scene of Reid crying in later seasons (the worst one of the ones I believes) and I gunned it to scroll away, proceeded to have an emotional crisis to Dynamight by BTS on loop for three times straight (pan).

Hello, my dear friend 🌟

I am Mahmoud Jihad from Gaza, currently living in a flimsy tent after my home and university were completely destroyed, along with my PC and my city. I was studying Information Technology while caring for my sick father and siblings, but now all my hopes seem shattered. 😢

As we face this devastating crisis, I am raising funds to help my family escape from Gaza and to continue my studies abroad 🎓. Every day is a struggle, and your support can make a significant difference in our lives ❤️.

My GoFundMe campaign has been verified by @beesandwatermelons ✅ #190.

Please consider sharing, liking, commenting, or donating, even a small amount 🙏.

Your help could be the turning point that saves my family and helps us survive in this harsh and relentless war 😔.

GoFundMe link: https://gofund.me/463cbf01

Thank you from the bottom of my heart! 🌹

🇵🇸 ❤️

Bro it's hard to be my kind of stupid AND financially responsible, I'm never fucking moving out lol

I love how Michael saw a depressed person like himself and immediately thought "yeah, this is it" and went for it

hey, internet? If I butchered Greek and Norse mythology for a book I want to write (Wattpad, so nothing too fancy), would that be okay? Or would it be better if I take what I like about them and make my own thing up?

Michael Holden and Tori Spring are not dating, but they're not just friends either.

They just are, they just exist together.

Reid Reading Solitaire by Alice Oseman

Possible spoilers below

I never thought I would identify with a character as strong as I do with Tori Spring. I've never thought I could be anyone who matters to someone, and I still don't now, even with the friends I've found after growing up learning how to be on my own, especially when second-guessing everything you feels like it's all you ever do. The backpack chapter reasonated with me, every time I get overwhelmed, I make a decision completely blown out of proportion to make something feel right about me, to stop the panic and racing thoughts.

Then there's overthinking what to say, around family and friends and strangers, what to feel, what your morals are and what separates you from your intrusive thoughts. Every thought you have in conversation is about what other people see in you and how you relate to the conversation in the slightest, making you aware you're such a bloody narcissist. Contradicting yourself often, which confuses everyone else and frustrates you the most. But while those people contradict themselves, you feel both the confusion and frustration, almost for the other person.

You try to keep it all down then, because while you know have everything, you feel like you need more. You can't believe it, you're already trying to earn what you have now, what else could you possibly want?

And then there is wondering, about the "why" when you want something. Why do you want it if the cost is too risky? What would you do to get it? Why would you work so hard if it might end badly for you?

The contradiction, when you need help, you don't want to be alone, but the company you have doesn't feel like what you need, you feel like a watcher of your own uninteresting life. Second guessing, (do I actually want this?) I don't know what I'm actually going to feel if I get what I think a moment of unexplored comfort would be. Maybe it will be suffocating. Maybe it isn't possible. Maybe I'd ruin it. That's when the wondering goes further.. What about your identity is truly yours? Which pieces have you handpicked from the people in your life, and what is actually inside you that makes you who you are? Maybe you don't want to ever know.

This all being said, the one thing I feel separated myself from Tori Spring's character- was that she doesn't like to read, my little dark heart sank from my body in dismay. I still love her though, enough to breathe through the book in one afternoon.

This song makes me think about growing up a boy, being loved for being a child and growing up and finding acceptance in my journey to be who I want to be brave enough to be.

I just hugged my dad for the first time in my binder. I can't explain this wave of emotion that has just hit me. It's a side hug but it's the closest I've felt to my dad in years. I'm so fucking happy I want to just cry and let it out but I need to fucking breathe lmao.