Old OdyPen 💪

No le pidas que mueva la cama dónde te juró amor eterno, eso jamás

Eurylochus: umm, captain?

Odysseus: yes?

Eurylochus: since we’re not going to be killed by Poseidon, I feel like you should know this, I opened the wind bag.

Odysseus: ok.

Eurylochus: that’s it?

Odysseus: yeah. I mean if you opening up the wind bag had bigger consequences I would be PISSED! But nothing happened. So yeah just don’t do something like that again. Deal?

Eurylochus: oh, uh yeah deal. I was expecting you to be angrier, but I guess since nothing happened we have nothing to worry about! Awesome! Can’t wait to go home and see my wife.

Odysseus: as I can’t wait to see mine.

*Meanwhile at Ithaca.*

Telemachus: so, my dad blinded your son, and then made a dad joke to you?

Poseidon: a few things left out, but yeah you get the gist.

Telemachus: what does that have to do with me? I’m like 5.

Poseidon: just a heads up, when your dad comes back, I’ll give you and him like pffft, how does 5 minutes sound?

Telemachus: why kill him at all? Just leave him be?

Poseidon: BECAUSE I HAVE A FUCKING REPUTATION TO KEEP UP! Dumb fuck.

Telemachus: will anyone even care by then?

Poseidon: ugh yes! Zeus will! Like he’s such an 💅asshole💅!

Persephone with cuteness agression.

my contribution to the epic fandom, based on this song

Athena's thoughts rn.

Eeepy Odydio😴

Don't tell me you're not the same person.

More incorrect quotes

Odysseus: Could you maybe just like… stab me… right in the gut. Just REALLY twist it in there. ‘Cause that honestly seems less painful than this conversation.

-

Odysseus: Hey I got you food, pick a number between 1 and 10. Eurylochus: Uh 4? Odysseus: Wrong, no food for you. Eurylochus: Wait what?! WHY?! ODYSSEUS PLEASE—!

-

Odysseus: I wish I had acid. Thank you, Hermes. Amen.

-

Odysseus, when his crew accuses him of hubris after he gives his name to the cyclopes: Oh and for your information, I don't have an ego! Odysseus: My facebook photo is a landscape.

-

Penelope: I love murder mysteries Odysseus, trying to impress her: I've been a suspect in four murder cases

-

Odysseus: I'm not a morning person. I'm barely even a person.

-

Odysseus: Met a dumbass today. Awful. Eurylochus: You looked in a mirror? Odysseus: Someday you will have to answer for your actions and god may not be so merciful.

-

Odysseus: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

-

Odysseus: I would say I feel sorry, but we all know that I've done much, much worse

-

Odysseus: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture. His crew: Awwww- Odysseus: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything." His crew: Oh.

-

Odysseus: It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly. It just sort of happens. You've got to admit though, fire is fascinating.

-

Odysseus, after giving his name to the cyclopes: Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my actions.

-

Odysseus at the 108 suitors trying to marry his wife: Clownery. Tomfoolery. Absolute fuckery, I am going to revoke your life privileges.

This is one isn’t very in character but it made me laugh so hard

Odysseus: When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was “woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why Penelope made me get tested.

tw blood ig

other versions under the cut (w/o blood, younger, and og) :3

Alexander Hamilton x Odiseo 🗣!!

Cards are his best weapon and he won't waste it /jk

Idk