Not Me Just Not Explaining That I Don’t Have A Gender Preference And Just Going With The “yeah So

Yknow this is why I got embarrassed when I played with the doors open. Sorry, I know you’d look at me weird if you saw a little girl about to hang a traitorous stuffed dog for his many war crimes with a string of cheap marti gras beads in front of the doorway with an audience, authority figures, last words rites, and all. I’ve built a society with birth, death, tragedy, relief, societial expectations, rituals, and traditions.

You wouldn’t be able to keep up. To you it’d just look weird. To me, it is the most invigorating story and I’m having a fucking blast.

Then of course they came back from the dead and have a revenge arc, because they were a wrongful convict.

Suck it, loser. I’m having fun.

(There was also this one time I made literal armor for my stuffed elephant out of ball bearings and magnets because I was obsessed with them as a kid. I was gonna make them go to war. Then the magnets collapsed in on eachother and were nearly impossible to remove because of the shear number of magnets I used. I could barely lift it to get my parents to help me. )

i love in fantasy when its like “king galamir the mighty golden eagle and his most trusted advisor who would never betray him, gruelworm bloodeye the treacherous”

….

I feel the need to say again, that I am in fact, NOT a Tahitian clam, and don’t produce pearls, much less from my cooter, and would appreciate it if I wasn’t treated as such.

Also to that nurse who told me the speculum would ‘tickle’, WHAT THE FJUCK FREAK SHIT DO YOU GET UP TO IN YOUR SPARE TIME THAT, THAT SENSATION SPECIFICALLY IS A “TICKLE”?!?!

Anyways I unfortunately have to get it done AGAIN because the nurse disregarded me telling them that hey; I was on my period, and that I might be bleeding too heavily for them to get a good cell sample.

But what do I know, right? It’s not like this uterus of mine is attached to me specifically or anything…

I got my first pap done today.

If I never see another speculum again it’ll be too fucking soon.

WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT—

Considering my irl name is already kind of oxymoronic at face value I could argue that I’m already there. (No you don’t get to know.)

if you were an ace attorney character what would your pun name be

Yeah

NOTICE: As more and more fanfic writers are using generative AI for their works (you uncreative dweebs), I hereby swear on everything I hold dear that I have not and will NEVER use generative AI in ANY of my written work. Everything I post will be organically and creatively my own.

That relatable moment when you eat sugar and then your medication for ADHD may or may not be causing you heart palpitations but you can’t tell cause it could just be the ✨sugar✨

Me rn.

I should’ve listened bro I’m pretty sure my immune system collapsed as soon as the stress of finals started waning.

I think I was holding my body together with duct tape and glue, now I think I caught strep again. Ugh.

When I read the asks open pinned post I read "headcanons" as "healthcare" and thought, wow they're knowledgeable aren't they!

Pfgfghhh

It's germ season guys, don't forget yer shots!

I now know how to describe my dog when he sprints inside the house because the grass is wet and he doesn’t like having wet feet

Ploop ploop ploop

Not to mention there’s a lot of cultural ties to the sheer number of cultures that have immigrated here, and depending on where you are, you might actually not just be feeding four people, but grandmas, cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandchildren too. Even more if you’re hosting an event. (Thanksgiving with a ridiculous number of extended family is a great example of this.) Food is a huge cultural factor as a result. Not making enough for everyone is considered rude or inconsiderate, because it’s like saying “well I didn’t take into account you as an individual, so that sucks ig, you’re not worth the thought” and you just don’t do that. At least you’re damn well not supposed to. Even to the people you don’t like.

Left over culture is huge in the south and Midwest (especially the Midwest, people will pawn off leftovers to friendly neighbors).

Calorie dense foods are often cultural remnants of Italian and Irish immigrants or American family recipes from the depression worried if they were going to make it to the next week, and are culturally important. Some of the Latin culture that’s immigrated in as well actually does sometimes regard it as rude to finish your plate (though that’s not extremely common throughout the US, it’s still something to consider)

If invite you to my home and make extremely meaty and carb rich Italian or Irish family recipes, I don’t expect you to eat ten bowls. If you need that much I’m not gonna stop you, but I’m gonna look pretty concerned that you’ve not been getting enough food in general to be THAT hungry.

Also, it’s usually considered a polite gesture to bring something you’ve made along to hostings and events as a means to contribute to festivities, and to alleviate some of the hoster’s stress about making enough. Also further fosters the culture of sharing meals and food as a show of good faith and a means to bond.

Seriously though it’s also really nice when a relative or a friend genuinely cannot keep themselves away from something you made because damn it’s tasty. 10/10 feeling. Like discovering the holy grail of pride and self accomplishment. A little sad that you have a clean plate to take home, but so fulfilling to know the thing you made and brought was that tasty.

Note to vacationing non-Americans: while it’s true that America doesn’t always have the best food culture, the food in our restaurants is really not representative of what most of us eat at home.  The portions at Cheesecake Factory or IHOP are meant to be indulgent, not just “what Americans are used to.”

If you eat at a regular American household, during a regular meal where they’re not going out of their way to impress guests, you probably will not be served twelve pounds of chocolate-covered cream cheese.  Please bear this in mind before writing yet another “omg I can’t believe American food” post.

“I LIKED HIM EVEN BEFORE YOU ALL KNEW WHAT HE COULD BE!”

i strongly believe phoenix wright has been called a dilf at LEAST once. i also strongly believe he is extremely proud of this title

for my narumitsu enjoyers, miles edgeworth being deeply troubled at:

1. the existence of such a term and

2. the fact he was technically the original phoenix wright dilf truther without even realising