Denkeschon - /shittypoem

✧・ﾟ:*Today’s magical girl of the morning is: Cinnamon from The Caster Chronicles!✧・ﾟ:*

Gave me good feelings

I went to high school with a girl who said we should check the other planets for the dinasours because when the meteor hit they probably got catapulted away :(

and how can you be sure she’s wrong

Sometimes I just feel hopeless about all of the trauma I carry. I have ongoing issues with inflammatory injuries and I know that’s linked to long-term stress, as are a bunch of other diseases. And so many of my responses to things and how I see the world are colored by the way I experienced life as a kid and it just makes me feel like I’m never going to be normal. I crave but am terrified of intimacy of any kind, and this was only worsened by emotional trauma as a teen and young adult. I just feel constantly detached, like I’m not quite a part of things, and like what even is the point if I’m never going to experience life normally anyway? Like I know no one has a “normal” experience but come on. It seems like I’m never going to be able to enjoy things the way it seems everyone else does, like I’m just going to constantly feel like the walking wounded, never quite able to open up or keep up. Idek this isn’t even making any sense. I’m just feeling pretty mournful over everything today.

Where the strength to be alive comes from?

I often see so many people being so happy about their lives. I was speaking to a friend whom called me morbid for talking about my wish for the death, and she was emphatic about how much she desires to have a long life, how many plans and goals she has for all those years of her life and how much she wanted to die at very old age.

The things is: I don't have that. I could die today, I wish I had died a long time ago, I never wanted a long life, I never wanted to pass my 30s and I often wonder WHERE people find all this will to be alive? Why do they want to live so much? What is so nice and happy about their life that makes them want to have a long life? I don't get it. I wish I did but I don't.

All I want is to all this pain to be over as soon as possible, and this painfull sensation that being alive causes me. I don't have joy or any desire about life that could even make me dream about dying at old age. I want to be gone as soon as possible.

At this point I guess it is important to comment I'm not talking about ending it all myself, I'm only wishing I don't have much more life spam around.

Excerpt from a poem by Patrick Hart

Joana: This is crazy!!

Rodrigo: Nothing is really crazy. Some things are just different.

Charlotte: Well, there must be some standard for what is crazy and what is normal,, like, how can we know what is right and what is not?

Rodrigo: Maybe we just created those ideas, maybe everything can be ok in a different circumstance, maybe what we judge as a polite or nice conversation can be annoying on another point of view or time.

Joana: WHAT?

Rodrigo: Think at this like what we consider wrong today or what we consider normal now days. Would you say it was always wrong or normal? During the history of modern society, was everything normal all the time?

Joana: Of course not!

Charlotte: Most definitely not, some things are just insane today or used to be at some point.

Rodrigo: That's my point. Nothing is crazy because the idea of crazy is always linked to the idea of normal,, and what's normal today might not be tomorrow and what we consider a crazy person may become what we consider a bright or extremely intelligent person in the future. Just think about it next time you think a idea is crazy.

CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT THEY ALL HAVE IN COMMON? 😔

life is about getting through the day without crying