How Much Sad Did You Think I Had, Did You Think I Had In Me? How Much Tragedy?

hey sapphics so i am finally watching ocean's 8 and um. not to be a lesbian but uh. h.oly ffuckign shit ohmyjessus goddamn um,.:P:E@PO()* the whole cast is just !@)I#K{DE@OF{}<:

Music To Watch Boys To

Chapter 3: Brooklyn Baby

Friday, October 24, 2014

6:03 pm

You look at the text from Chase announcing “omw see u in like 20 mins” You tried to make excuses every time he suggested going to dinner in the last few days. Eventually, you just caved and said yes. You’ve known him forever, maybe this would be good for you. You apply red lipstick to your lips and touch up your makeup. You zip up your black dress, it was a simple midi type, with a split and v-neck. Yet, you were worried. Is this considered a first date? Would Nick like this dress? Would Nick even look twice at me, he’s like a real adult. Maybe that’s why he’s so nice, he probably thinks I’m too young. Just a dumb girl who's hopelessly in love with him. Shut up! What was his name? Chase? Would Chase like this dress?

There’s a knock on your door twenty-five minutes later. You slide on your heels and buckle them. The restaurant is uptown, closer to Chase’s place. Yet he drove all this way to pick you up, you note, maybe add that to the pros list. He made a seven o'clock reservation. He peers over at you again, “You are gorgeous.” he comments for maybe the third time. Is he practicing his adjectives? He continues, “So I was thinking that we should start over?” 

The only sound you manage to get across is “huh?” 

“Yeah, we didn’t exactly start on the most romantic note. I want something real this time.” You study at him, really look at him. This is good, I could really be happy with him. I just have to stop thinking.

At the restaurant, he asks “So where are you from?”

You give him a look, then “Right, we’re starting over.” You clear your throat and try not to laugh, “Uh, I was raised in Brooklyn, you?”

“Upper East side, my dad’s a plastic surgeon. I think he’s disappointed I didn’t choose such a noble career. My mom’s a former swimsuit model.”

“My parents divorced when I was 11, so my dad mostly raised me and my brothers. My mom moved to Florida to start another family. Anyway, what do you do?”

“I’m in a band. Your mom leaving must have been hard for you.”

“Honestly, I don’t think it really affected me. They weren’t happy and I just had to adjust.” She feels like a stranger. “So a band? That’s pretty cool.”

You continued the small talk for a while, which was surprisingly not the worst thing. Then your phone beeps, it's Nick. Am I being haunted? Wait no it's probably work, don't be a dramatic bitch. You answer and Nick tells you he’s sorry for disturbing you on a day off but he’s at a new crime scene and you tell him to send the location. You apologize to Chase, “I’m sorry, it’s work. Raincheck?” He tells you he gets it and kisses your cheek. You leave and get into a cab.

In the cab on your way to the crime scene, you realize you left your coat. Crap now I’m gonna be both unprofessional and freezing. You text Chase and tell him to keep your coat for you. He replies, “I’ll bring it to u. Can I see u after you get off work?” You ignore his text.

“So our victim is… was a high school student. She was found in the garbage bin by a restaurant staff. Possibly raped and beaten to death. The autopsy will reveal more” he states. “Wow.” You look up to see him staring. “You look nice,” he says whilst taking off his coat and draping it over your naked shoulders.

“I forgot my coat at the restaurant.” No! Why did you just say that? Okay just don’t make it a big thing.

“Were you on a date?” Why did he look at you like that?

You shrug, this coat smells good. “Just catching up with someone from college.” Not a lie.

“So like an old boyfriend?” What’s with the third degree?

“We never dated.” Also not technically a lie.

“So how was it?”

“Fine, I guess. Um, so walk me through the crime scene.”

Nick explains how the restaurant employee was taking the trash out at the end of his shift when he saw a dead body in the bin. He didn’t notice anyone lingering. Uniformed officers were canvassing the neighbourhood right now.

“It’s got to be Michaelis, how is he still walking freely?’’ you ask, frustrated.

“The school bailed him out, they claim the NYPD has an agenda and no proof.”

You roll your eyes. ‘The NYPD has an agenda’ is every predator’s favourite excuse. “What about the DNA samples?” You wonder if the defense will be arguing: middle-aged creeps are being denied their right to rape!

“The lab’s backed up, it’ll take a few more days.”

You got off the phone with Liv, having updated her on the situation. “We can’t arrest him again without probable cause, but we can keep an eye on him until Barba gets a warrant for his hotel room and car. Maybe we’ll find her DNA.” You and Nick were told the prep was still in his hotel room so you stake out the hotel lobby. You were sitting closely so as to not draw attention, Nick’s left hand on your thigh. You glance down to his hand on your bare thigh to notice he wasn’t wearing his ring. When did that happen? What does this mean? Was he dating again? He notices you staring, “I talked to Maria, we’re getting a divorce.” 

You rub his arms, “Nick, I’m so sorry.” You really were.

“It’s getting easier to accept. Ever since I punched her shrink, I’ve been trying to deal with my anger better.” You remember everything he told you, he thought his wife was cheating and he handled it badly. “I just don’t want to be the kind of man that speaks with his fist.”

You gently stroke his face, “You’re a good man, and Zara is so lucky that you’re her dad.”

You stare at each other for what feels like forever, that you almost don’t see Dean Michaelis as he heads for the door. 

sometimes i think "well maybe i'm not actually depressed" and then i catch myself going about daily life feeling 85% certain that human existence is probably some sort of purgatorial punishment for sins committed by the soul in some vaster cosmic past life

“who's the cute guy with the wide, blue eyes?….” It’s jason grace!!

One thing I love in the Bridgerton books is how Whistledown always mention Colin as Charming because Pen is in love with him and is like 'dude is so gorgeous, here's Colin Bridgerton the most beautful, lovely man to ever exist" and he's like "Whistledown thinks I am nothing but a pretty face".

loving me is like watering a dead flower

My beloved google assistant vs the evil unasked for dogshit stupid ass dumb mother fucking google gemini