Diary Of An Aging Girl #2
diary of an aging girl #2
When i was younger I felt drawn to the “olden days” and felt very much like an imposter among my peers and looking back at it now it was definitely because of how much of a shy person I was and still am. It is not like I was selectively being shy, it felt and still does feel like this bubble that if I would burst it i’d be offending everyone and also become the stupidest person in the world.
Whatever. So I grew up and realised it was very weird to look back on a time I wasn’t born (the 90s and before) and say how good they were when I didn’t experience it and hadn’t even indulged in the generation I was growing up with.
But but it’s times like these where it does feel like the world is becoming less and less progressive and for people who are minorities AKA my whole identity I feel like it’s okay to look back. I’ve always had like this nagging need to feel what I felt a couple years ago which I am sure everyone has felt and nostalgia is it’s own disease.
But I am looking to the 2010s and some of the 90s where yk for a certain part in a certain place it was blooming with community for dykes and all I can think about is we’re never going to have the same opportunities as the ones before us because of this need to conform to straight people’s standards.
Phones shoved in our faces… what if i don’t want to promote it on insta.. what if i want our communities to bloom w/o social media? is that even possible?
-doaag xx
More Posts from Diaryofanagingirl and Others
megan lynne
No one:
Me once a year when I feel particularly nostalgic of my girlhood: ROOKIEMAAAAGgggGGG !!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭
they should invent a butch that likes me back
i’m forever going to want someone to be straight forward with me. if i’m doing too much if im doing too little. if they like me or hate me. i need to be convinced they don’t hate me and it’s such a bad trait bc at the start it’s seen as cute and “oh she’s shy” or like im inexperienced and then it slowly evolves into me being a beg and needing confirmation that what im saying is ok. this is such bull but yeah i just wanted to blab
guys we did it. we held on till may
i don’t get periods often like i’ve had a year where i didn’t have one at all and i also was really late into having one but im on it now and im horny as hell AND in pain ? how does this work
Normal Girl - SZA (2017)
We Are Who We Are, Luca Guadagnino (2020)
this work maintains for every moment that fleetingness that only Guadagnino manages to convey with such complex simplicity. a story that is an epiphany, the slowness of a summer that passes away, slowly letting the first signs of an imminent change emerge. self-rediscovery, mourning, and again the peace of the quiet sky after the storm. the purgatory of an existence lived anywhere except in a place concrete enough to call it home. adolescent desire, contemplation of beauty. there is purity even in the eros, which never falls beyond the veil of vulgarity. in today's cinematographic culture where sexuality, the exaggerated complexity of man and the so-called beauty are mercifully flaunted, Guadagnino gives us everything and nothing. there is simplicity even in the complex world of those who are slowly starting to discover their identity. religion rediscovered after the untimely death of a friend, or perhaps something more. "I'm 19 years old and I'm a widow, crazy right?", there is innocence even in torment and in the guilt of death. loving in the immeasurable and unconditional way of adolescence is also healing oneself from sorrow, protecting oneself from those who are not able to understand us and carrying each other in our pockets. those who have died are not mourned and distance is treated with so little that one doubts the distance itself.
at the end of the show i let The Great Gig In The Sky play in my headphones. war ultimately leads to peace, to silence.
one of the most splendid cinematic pieces I have ever experienced.
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ramblings of an 18 year old lesbian.she/they femme
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