Your Vision Most Days. 

Why did i read this in my mother’s voice

Sigh

I missed my appointment. My mother wanted to fight me the entire time. We got lost because she didnt want to listen to me and trust my directions . We argued, she yelled and threw stuff at me. The whole day was fucked. Im tired. Unfortunately this morning I started my period, heavy and painful too. So I get to experience that ‘lovely’ dysphoria and dissociation that comes with it. Not to mention my right ear is hurting, and im barely getting over my left ear infection. I toom antibiotics for a week but they left me sicker physically. Sigh...

Even of existing…

Now this is funny.

Chronic Illness flare clinics need to be a thing.

They need to have holistic chronic illness clinics. You can go to them while you’re in a flare. They have low sensory rooms with soft beds and low light tv’s. Have doctors to administer flare reducing meds/pain meds, but also have holistic professionals like massage therapists, acupuncturist, mindfulness workers, physical therapists, chiropractors etc etc.

Basically so that you’re entire body and mind can heal because the reality of this is mind and body health need to be aligned.

This is especially necessary because going to an ER for a flare can be so terrible and increase the intensity of the flare. It’s so bright and you have to wait for hours to be seen by doctors who let’s be honest don’t specialize in chronic illness, and are trying to jam in as many patients as they can because of being over capacity.

This is what healthcare would look like if it was designed by the sick.

when you feel yourself becoming obsessed with a new person, and it’s the scariest and best feeling ever

“You walk at home? Do you even need your wheelchair?”

Yes, because walking in my own house is different than walking class to class at school. I don’t carry a heavy backpack at home. I’m not on a tight schedule at home. I can sit on the ground at home. I can ask my parents or siblings to help me at home. I can crawl on my hands and knees at home. I can lie in the middle of the hallway at home. I can sit on counters and tables at home. I can bear a lot of pain at home. I can show that pain at home. I can collapse in the middle of crawling up the staircase at home.

Don’t tell me or anyone else where or when they need to use their mobility device