It's Not Just The Trauma That Hurts You...

Need more Jax fans and apologists and stans in my life

Reblog if you are one and I'll follow you back <3

Mega Jax-Archive

Just here to say i have a Jax archive of all the official and some unofficial content related to Jax! It has a lot more stuff since the last time i posted the archive here so if you wanna take a look feel free to!

Google Docs

JAX - THE AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS MEGA ARCHIVE.docx

ATTENTION: I made this doc on a phone so it looks better and more organized on mobile/app. Sorry if It looks very messy on PC. ____________

i just realized my life for the past 2 years has just been "receiving support/help/treatment for mental health issues." all my goals have been measured by my mental health issues. all my growth has been measured by my mental health issues. etc. etc. and it feels like i'm not even living.

and like yes my mental health issues are severe, they do impact every aspect of my life, they do heavily inform my identity, how i relate to others, etc. etc. but like. at the same time. even when my mental health was severe as a teenager, i had life outside it. it may not have been much compared to my peers, but i still had a few friends, a few hobbies, a few things that made my days worthwhile.

i don't really have any of that anymore, and i haven't for a long time. i'll have bursts of inspiration and whimsy, but it's always squashed down by judgements echoing in my head. and the worst part is, i blame myself for doing nothing but go to appointments. i blame myself for my mental health getting as bad as it has.

but the reality is. i and so many other severely mentally ill children are not given the opportunity to thrive. we're forced to meet impossible standards. anything we may enjoy or excel at isn't prioritized. everyone's focused on our deficits, our problems, our dangerous/risky behavior, our academics, our future employability, etc. etc.

no one ever sits down with us and earnestly works with us to achieve what we want for our life - what we need. no one prioritizes our happiness, or protects us when we're in danger from others. they just try to fix us, and when that hurts us? we're blamed. we're the ones who aren't trying. we're noncompliant. defiant. misbehaved. irresponsible. it's never the system's fault.

our disabilities and our age just get us totally abused/neglected, all in the name of making us into functional adults. we're not allowed to just be children, and a lot of us don't make it to adulthood. but when we do and still can't function like our peers, the world just leaves us to rot, saying we're old enough now and need to figure it out.

it's so incredibly cruel. no matter your age, if you've been treated this way... it's not your fault. it's not our fault. you're not the only one. you're not the problem. you were/are just a kid - a child in pain... and also an equal - a human being, just like the adults who hurt you. you deserved better. so much better.

Artblocks trying to chomp away at me so im tryna fight it off by trying different things w my art, and my subject was @eco-systeme 's digital races' Jax :D

TikTok is disgusting for banning cjmothe

AlienMothHybrid@discord.com to sign a petition to stop this!

In Mexican legends, obsidian is primarily associated with the Aztec god Tezcatlipoca, often depicted with a polished obsidian mirror, as his name translates to "Smoking Mirror," signifying his ability to see into the future and the true nature of things; obsidian was considered a powerful tool for divination and was used by priests to access the spiritual realm through its reflective surface.

you're either a smart fella or a fart smella everyone

i avoid writing when i'm high because when i was in AA i had a conversation there with someone else that basically amounted to shitting on drunk/high me's writing ability.

and so now whenever i'm not sober yet feel the drive to write (something i have not felt while sober as readily. it's a rarity), i don't because i think. well anything i write now won't be as good, and it'll be inherently wrong/bad because i'll have written it from the perspective of someone who was high/drunk.

and i. wow. i am just now realizing that is incredibly cruel. it's dehumanizing actually - as if. high/drunk me (hi hello, it was just 4:20pm) is incapable of having a voice that's worthy of being heard? worthy of ever speaking at all? worthy of being remembered?

that's. that's fucking insane. wow. no wonder i guilt myself so much about my substance use. i literally did not guilt myself like this until other people reacted to me/my use in ways that felt shaming.

ah fuck. guilt/shame isn't a "symptom" of addiction. it's a result of how addicted people are treated, and how their relationships begin to decay. a lot of it is stigmatization, ableism, sanism, and not having a society of community care. awesome.

I love Sonic Boom so so much

The sweet charm of it is that they don't have the weight of the world on their shoulders so all of them can goof around and act their age with no worries, no masks, show their silly goofy teenage and child sides and that's what they're doing 90 percent of the time

It's like closest friends having a never-ending sleepover and bullying their weird crazy uncle when he tries to ground them or something and they also have an emo cousin who occasionally shows up to make fun of their blanket fort and criticize on their snacks.

I love Sonic Boom

Hey, here’s a concept. What if we stopped saying “but autistic people CAN do all those things” (erasing high support needs) and instead started saying “not being able to do those things doesn’t impact someone’s value as a person nor does it make it okay to commit eugenics”.