I’m Addictive To Sugar And Catnip. All I Know There Was A Blue Flash Of Light And When I Woke Up Yesterday

when coping from the knowledge of being a csa survivor, how does one even begin to make peace with the idea that the original version of you, when you were still eager and energetic and authentically you was taken from you?

i still regularly think about the little girl who never got to live because now i’m here.

quieter than she was. shyer. more reserved. less innocent. far more afraid. far more paranoid. less trusting. less brave. less sure of myself.

less, in general.

she’s gone and that makes me sad that i can never be her again.

jax and his mommy issues fr fr

Tiny jax au for those who have been starving for it, I'm just gaslighting myself at this point for Jax and Kinger to have nice interactions in the next episodes

DAMN

JAX BE FAST AS HELL

bunny pngs credit not necessary for pngs ! like or reblog to use <3

You are not gross, or bad, if you struggle with hygenine. Its okay! Last night I brushed my teeth, which was a big achievement for me! Whatever achievement you made, I'm proud of you. And if you didnt make an achievement, I'm still proud of you. I love you so much, and your ability to take care of yourself is irrelevant to that love. /p

Get in line!

welcome to FUCKsy's, hope you're having a TERRIBLE day, can i take your order?

Jax is not a jerk.

Please, hear me out.

TW: mention of domestic abuse.

I’m not here to excuse his actions. If someone does something bad, they should be held accountable. But there’s always a reason behind behavior. No character is “bad just for the sake of being bad.”

I know Jax has done a lot of messed-up things, but give me a chance to explain his actions—maybe you’ll see him in a different light.

Jax has boundaries.

A true villain doesn’t hold back. They’ll do whatever they want without hesitation. But according to the Gooseworx, Jax does have boundaries—there are lines he won’t cross.

I know what you’re thinking about. “But he threw Pomni out of the truck in Episode 2! He left Ragatha ( and Pomni ) behind with a glitching Kaufmo in the pilot! He constantly bullies others!”

But let’s look deeper.

First, remember that his teasing and pranks are a coping mechanism. It’s his way of keeping himself sane.

Second, he never takes things too far. Yes, his actions can be cruel, but when he realizes something genuinely harms someone, he backs off.

Take the pilot, for example. He left Ragatha when Kaufmo glitched out, but why? Because he was scared. Later, we see that Ragatha got “infected” with the glitch.

Now, think about the moment she said, “I am in so much pain!”

Here’s where it gets interesting—recently, in a Japanese billboard ad, there was a small scene where Kaufmo glitches behind Pomni while she’s arguing with Jax. And what does Jax do? He immediately gets nervous and says, “Wanna continue this somewhere else?”

He knows when to stop. He realized that if Pomni also glitched, it would hurt her. That means he does have empathy. He may act cold, but he’s not heartless.

Why does he act this way?

Now let’s re-examine some of his actions.

Remember when he threw Pomni out of the truck?

Or when he cut off her conversation with Ragatha?

(Both moments from Ep 2.)

Every time he sees others forming connections, it bothers him. Because deep down, he wants that too—but he doesn’t know how to handle it.

Instead of confronting his own feelings, he shuts those moments down. He disrupts conversations, pushes people away, and keeps his distance.

And here’s the key point:

If a parent abuses their child, it’s often because they were abused themselves. (I know this is a terrible example, but it gets the point across.)

If Jax constantly picks on those who are soft, emotional, or vulnerable, it’s because he sees himself in them.

He hates in others what he hates in himself.

And behavior like this doesn’t come out of nowhere.

Someone, at some point, showed him that “messing with people is fine!” Maybe it happened before he ended up in the circus. Maybe it started after. But the fact remains: he does it because someone did it to him.

His teasing and cruelty aren’t “just for fun.”

They’re a defense mechanism, a way to stay sane, and a reflection of his own self-hatred projected onto others.

So, what’s the takeaway?

No, this doesn’t make him a good person. He still does awful things, and nobody has to forgive him for that.

But understanding his actions doesn’t mean excusing them.

All I’m saying is: if we ask “why” instead of just labeling him as “the mean one,” we get a more complex character.

Thanks for reading!

(And by the way, I saw so much engagement on my last post—thank you all so much! 💜)

😵‍💫