Passing Anyone On A One Lane

You ever been in a state where you physically have no energy, but you're bored and socially understimulated so you kind of wish you could just invite people to come over like this:

Me when me when me when he does his baby man thing

Oh 𝔽𝕌ℂ𝕂! You didn’t tell me you had a beast in your home. You’ve got a little goggyee. Eh- BOGGY. A poopy dog. A buppy- a little 𝐹𝑈𝐶𝐾𝐼𝑁𝐺 ƊOƐGGУ. I’ve never seen a reell dog before! We only have Lego® Dogs on Lego® Island. 𝒪𝒽! Oh FUCK! Oh fuck nooo! This red bastard’s got teeth! Sharp teethh. He’s going to tear me into little Lego® pieces. I’ve never been so scared in my life! WHAT THE FUCK this is like a jumpscare from Five Fuckers at Uncle Festers. GET ME THE 𝔽𝕌ℂ𝕂 OUT OF HERE!

Will you tickle squeeze, or fart blast into the bathroom?

Let me roller blade please

I bet you. IT'S EXERCISE AND FUN.

HEY YOU GOT GAMES ON YOUR PHONE?

FOXES OMG FOXES IM GOING CRAZY. FOXES.

lovely little domestic prompts

feel free to use! :)

running their love interest a bath after a long work day

covering the sharp part of the table when they pass so they don’t hit their hip

“your mom is coming over today.” “tell her to bring fried rice or she’s not invited.” “you tell her, she’s your mom.” “but she likes you more!”

deciding together how they want their house to look

painting their child’s room together

“i meant it when i said i wanted to start a family with you.”

baby-proofing everything not because they have a child or are planning for one but because one character is clumsy as hell and the other is a worried mess alllll the time because of it

“wake up and come get breakfast, love.” “…. now…….. when i said yes to this whole marriage thing i thought we were on the same page and you understood when i said i don’t wake up before 6pm.” “i made hashbrowns.” “i’ll be right there.”

one character covering the other with a blanket when they fall asleep watching a movie on the couch

making tea or coffee for their love interest before bed (and just the fact that they know exactly how they like their tea and coffee swooon)

cooking anything together honestly, not even needing to ask where the items are because they’re so in tune and used to each other

“where’s the new coffee mix?” “i’ll tell you if you tell me where you put the keys?” “i TOLD you i don’t know where—”

long movie nights where one is in charge of the blanket and pillow fort and one is in charge of the snacks

them going on a short trip and one character nagging the other about bringing their allergy meds

nagging in general, frankly

“it’s your turn to do the dishes.” “let’s get a divorce.” “we aren’t married yet, my love.” “well we sure as hell aren’t getting married now.”

“i am one hundred percent content to stay with you on this couch until the end of time.” “that sounds pretty damn lovely to me.”