Penetration Is A Gender-neutral Act. Topping Is Gender-neutral. Bottoming Is Gender-neutral. You Are

Chance Equals Fortune — Prologue

Squid Game | The Salesman x F!Reader

Summary: parasites. that is the only thing he thinks of when he meets the players he is meant to recruit. but what happens when he meets you and you are nothing of what he expects.

an au where the salesman lives and becomes a player.

Warnings: swearing and classist thinking. in the future there will probably be canon-typical violence and i'm still debating on smut.

a/n: happy new years! i'm sorry i couldn't upload this earlier i had to deal with some long distant relatives. however, due to popular demand here is the gong yoo fic as promised. this was originally supposed to be under 1k words...

Words: 2.1k

Click. Click. Click

Those are the sounds of pristine perfectly polished black shoes on concrete. The soles of the shoes worn by a handsome-looking businessman echoed loudly, causing the sounds to reverberate into the jet-black sky. As he walked beneath the faint luminescence of street lights, case in hand and his head held high, his eyes searched for the next prey to fall victim to his silver tongue. The same mouth that twisted dark truths into sweet promises others couldn't dare reject. Never once has his articulate way of speaking failed to deliver the precise words necessary to provide his superiors with a new batch of fresh meat to satisfy their sadistic tendencies. To him, it was all the same. One less piece of vermin in the world, and more importantly, one less leech to drain the well-oiled machine that is society.

Today was no different as he strolled along the sidewalk of a small park near the outskirts of Seoul. While he walked, he felt indifferent towards the small details, like the light breeze swaying the tree branches above or the faint smell of dog shit wafting through the air. Having trained himself to ignore anything and everything that could be a possible distraction from his mission. What was his mission again? Ah yes, currently that would be you.

His steps immediately halted as he spotted your figure in the distance, a dark shadow looming over a bed of flowers and a trail of smoke emitting from the cigarette between your fingers. There you are. He squared his shoulders as he fixed his expression into one of casual ease. Now, all he had left to do was to convince you all of the problems that have stemmed from your pathetic life could be solved in the blink of an eye. That your worries could dissolve as quickly as skin in acid.

He began to move again, taking long strides to where you were standing. In the time he took to reach you, he jotted some quick mental notes.

One. Your relaxed stance oozed confidence and uninterest despite being a young lady positioned in one of the most crime-infested spots of the city in the dead of night. Meaning you either had a weapon on you or had sufficient defense skills, possibly both. He must tread carefully.

Two. You were positioned next to a tall fountain, atop stood a small marble figure of a gumiho. The spot infamously known for the shady transactions dealing with drugs and other nefarious crimes. Perhaps you were waiting for someone? He'd have to keep an eye out for any newcomers that could interrupt his process.

Three. Your mouth was...moving?

His steps faltered. There was no other person around within a 3-mile radius whom you could be conversing with, nor did you have a phone in hand. How odd. In his time as a recruiter, he has encountered all kinds of people. Drug addicts, the mentally ill, and one memorable case a delirious man on the brink of death, hallucinating from hunger. You, however, seemed perfectly sane. Keyword…seemed. He shook his head, quickly putting a halt to his thoughts. He had no time to ponder over whatever weird traits you may have, he came here to do one job. He resumed his trek towards you and was soon standing mere feet from you.

Show time.

“Excuse me miss, may I have a minute of your time?”

You remain standing still, making no indication that you had noticed him. Your eyes were distant while you continued to murmur but no sound came out. He wasn’t sure if you were ignoring him or if you really were that unaware of your surroundings. Now that won’t do.

“Miss?” He tried again tentatively, his head tilting curiously as he stepped in your line of sight. “Are you alright?”

Finally, your eyes shifted into focus, taking a moment to adjust. For a brief moment, it appeared as if you were lost. However, that moment soon passed and your eyes narrowed, annoyance filling your features.

“Why did you interrupt me?”

The bite in your tone was enough to make him raise an eyebrow. Perhaps you really weren’t in the right state of mind after all. “Interrupt?”

You scoffed, ignoring the question you brought the cigarette back to your lips. Taking in a long drag before you released the smoke right in his face. His mouth turned downward in displeasure.

“Do you need something?” You snapped, your jaw clenching as you slid your free hand in your pocket. He caught the way your finger twitched as you did so. Weapon it is then.

His face instantly changed back to that previous pleasant expression, his lips curving into a kind smile though with a lack of warmth in his eyes. Instead replaced by an empty, clinical look.

”I don’t mean to be a bother ma’am, but I’m here to offer you a proposal you’re sure to like,” he states in a neutral tone, having uttered a variation of those words dozens of times. “A way to better improve your current economic situation.”

Your body tenses as your eyes dart over his figure eyeing the suitcase, no doubt analyzing him as a threat. “Look I already said I’d pay him back!” He watches as you chuck the cigarette to the ground and stomp on it. “If he keeps rushing me like this then don’t expect to get a single won out of me! I don’t give a shit who he is!” Your volume rises as you take a step back, ready to sprint if needed.

He raises his arm in surrender. “That’s not what I’m here for. As I’ve stated, I only want to help.” His mind is conjuring up the best way to ease the tension.

He hesitantly takes a step forward.

Your eyes immediately look back down. “What’s in the case?”

Another step.

“I work for a group of people whose only interest is to help those who are struggling. Our objective being to ease the burden of the majority.” He swiftly places the case at the base of the fountain, unlocking the latch but leaving it closed. “See for yourself.”

You were the one to take the final step, closing the gap between the two of you. You gave him one more skeptical look before you focused all of your attention on what was in front of you. Slowly, both hands reached out and flipped the top wide open. Your eyes widened as you took in the contents of what was inside, or more specifically, the big wads of cash.

You remained silent, frozen as a statue as you simply stared. In an instant, you whipped your head in his direction. You took the time to study him, your mouth slightly agape and a certain look in your eye he couldn't quite place. A couple of seconds passed, you clamped your mouth shut and swallowed thickly, licking your lips before you finally managed to whisper, "What do you want?"

His mouth quirked upward in a smirk. Got you. "I'd like to play a game."

You belted out a high-pitched, contorted laugh. A childlike glee completely overcoming you. "Ab-so-fucking-lutely," you grinned from ear to ear, bouncing on the balls of your feet.

It dawned on him what that look in your gaze was...

Unstable.

A jolt of thrill shoots down his spine. "I'm sure you're familiar with the game ddakji," he reaches until he grabs the two colorful squares, carefully placing the red one on the ground, "for every time your square manages to flip mine, I will pay you 100,000 won."

You nod enthusiastically, your hand shooting out as he draws his hand in at the same time. "However, if you lose...you must pay me back the same amount."

You snatched the piece from him. “Deal.” You don't waste a single moment in hurling it, the force of the impact causing the sound to ricochet like a gunshot. The square goes flying, becoming a red blur. It stays in the air for a couple of seconds, but that time is enough for the experienced recruiter to know that you've already won. By the time it hits the ground, he doesn't even have to look to know it's flipped.

You look up expectantly at him.

He glances at her, jaw clenching. Well, this isn't how it usually goes. Before he can move to pay you, your voice cuts through the silence. "From the look on your face, you didn't want me to win, correct?" The lack of response on his part encourages you to continue. "How about, instead of doing whatever the hell you were thinking, I propose a new rule," you lean forward, your eyes sparkling with mirth, "we both keep throwing until one of us loses. If I win...you give me everything that's in that case."

"And what if I win?"

Your mouth twists into a devilish smirk. "Don't worry, you won't."

His eyes look you up and down, scanning you. His hands twitch in anticipation at the challenge, adrenaline manifesting itself as electricity in his veins. His bruised ego from losing the first round combined with his competitive nature was enough to make him agree. This was not part of the plan. He could just give you the money, the card, and go about his day like he has so many times before. He has no reason to play along other than he just wants to beat you.

"Alright," his previously fabricated smile now becoming genuine, "my turn."

With renewed vigor, he launches his square and as expected, it flips. He lets out an arrogant chuckle as he fixes his suit and stands up straight, his lips stretching into a satisfied smile.

This cycle continued for multiple rounds, the money long forgotten. The need to succeed fueled the violent fire between the two of you. After a while, he lost all track of time, fixating all of his attention solely on the game.

By now, his hair was disheveled and sweat dripped down his forehead. He panted as he recovered, his arm muscles aching from the consistent use. It was taking more energy than he was willing to admit in order to keep going but like hell if he'd let exhaustion be the cause of failing.

On his turn, he prepared himself to once again launch the disc. He readied himself, drawing his arm back and—

His eyes suddenly flickered to your lips, where your tongue darted out lick them. He watches intensely at your now damp, chapped lips, mouth slightly parted as you breathe heavily from fatigue.

In his moment of distraction, the square slips from his hand. He scrambles quickly to catch it but it's too late...

He's lost.

There is a long pause of silence, before your high-pitched cackle cuts through the air. His eyes widen in shock, the realization slowly setting in.

How...

He breathes out deeply through his nose, trying his best to compose himself. What the hell was that? How on earth could he have lost? He Never. Loses. He doesn't have any longer to dwell on the fact as you practically skip in joy to the case, already counting the amount. All of this because you managed to distract him.

Your voice soon interrupts his thoughts. "Maybe the next time you want to win, you might try not to let your eyes stray so far..." you say as you wink.

How did you even notice? Wait...was that on purpose? He clenches his fists until they turn white, the thought making his blood boil. He has half the mind to kill you and call it an accident just to quell his anger.

He closes his eyes in frustration. No, I can't ruin the games.

He takes in a couple of deep breaths, forcing himself to calm down. Once he knows that his voice won't betray any conflict he feels, he speaks again, "you know, there are other games such as the one we just played. And for much larger prizes as well."

He's back in his element, his persuasive tone of voice exuding reliability. He hands you the card, explaining how it works, how to enlist, and so on.

By the time he finishes his speech, you look mostly convinced. After inspecting the card more closely, your stare finds his, "I appreciate what you have done and thank you for the opportunity. I will consider your offer. If I do accept know it will only be due to a singular fact," your head leans closer, voice lowering to a whisper and your breath fanning over his, "I never lose"

On that note, you step back and walk away, never once turning to glance back at him. You soon disappear into the dark Seoul night, shadows blending with that of buildings and trees.

He lets out a small huff in amusement. If that is true, then he's excited to see how you'll fare in the games.

please don't be a silent reader i love reading comments and hearing your thoughts.

roommate soap who catches you masturbating because nothing else quite takes the edge off like a little death or two but instead of looking surprised and pivoting, he stands there and looks perturbed.

yer doin' it all wrong, lass. it's no wonder ye always strung tight.

you go from mortified to insulted in seconds, but before you can even snarl at him to leave, he's already dragging his big ass boyfriend in the room, still fully appalled at how you're mistreating yourself.

got tae see this, simon. appalling, it is.

and now you're being manhandled into different positions, toys long abandoned for thick fingers and coarse palms, lube replaced with spit and they'd left you with the destabilizing knowledge that the first peak they'd brought you then had been humiliatingly fast and efficient and somewhere along the way, fingers had been replaced with tongues.

(that you had to almost crawl yourself to the bathroom after your long nap and they hadn't even fucked you is embarrassing.)

Someone Worte that he could not stand to see the Palestine flag anymore.

Sorry, but not sorry

Reblog daily

Free Palestine

I am not done yet

Only way to stop seeing this flag is when the oppression is over.

So you are tiered of this? you can end it, stop supporting Zionism!

Sal Fisher headcanons (fluff/angst)

buckle up you guys, we are in for a wild ride with this one!

angst:

->Sal often struggles with insomnia, haunted by nightmares and intrusive thoughts. He sometimes stays up until dawn, staring at the ceiling or listening to music to drown out the silence.

On particularly bad nights, he’ll quietly play his guitar, the soft sound comforting him in an otherwise empty room.

->Even around his closest friends, Sal sometimes feels like he doesn’t fully belong. He struggles with the feeling that no one could truly understand the weight of what he’s seen and experienced.

He often forces a smile or a joke to keep others from worrying, hiding his sadness behind a mask both literal and emotional.

->Sal feels incredibly vulnerable without his prosthetic face, so much so that he avoids mirrors when it’s off. He fears being seen as a “monster,” even though he knows his friends accept him.

There are days when he feels disconnected from himself, like the mask is the only thing holding him together.

->Sal keeps small mementos of his mother and his happiest moments with his friends. He has a box hidden away filled with photos, drawings, and little trinkets that remind him of better times.

He’ll sometimes sit with the box and quietly relive those memories, trying to hold onto the good moments that feel so far away.

fluff:

->Sal has a soft spot for animals, especially cats. If he sees a stray, he’ll stop to pet it and might even sneak it some food. He once joked about starting a "stray cat rescue squad" with Larry.

->Sal loves oversized sweaters and hoodies, especially ones with fun patterns or that are extra soft. He has a favorite one that’s slightly worn out but feels like a warm hug.

He sometimes steals hoodies from Larry or Todd because they’re comfy and smell like his friends, which he finds reassuring.

->Sal isn’t the best cook, but he enjoys baking. It’s something his mom used to do with him, and he finds it calming. He makes cookies for his friends on special occasions, even if they come out a little lopsided.

He once tried to make a cake for Ash’s birthday and got icing everywhere, but the end result was so charmingly messy that she loved it even

Humans Are Crazy

Aliens have such different gender and biology from humans that none of them menstruate. So imagine this.

Alien: Human Steve, why did I find blood on the lavatory floor?

Steve: Oh, that's just Karen.

Alien: What??

Steve: Human females bleed from their reproductive organs once every month for five to seven days.

Alien: wHAT?!

Steve, calmly: Yeah, they can lose enough blood in a lifetime to kill ten grown men.

Alien: WHaT ?!?!

Karen, walking in: Steve, I need A FUCKING break. And chocolate. And a heating pad. I'll be in my sleeping quarters. Also, I threw up.

Steve: Okay, take the day off, I'll bring you your stuff in a bit.

Alien: *jots down in notebook* Human females are indestructible and fearsome. Regard them with respect.

EDIT: I swear, if this is the thing that makes me Tumblr famous, I’m gonna blow a braincell. And I don’t have many of those left, so…

Edit 2: Guys. Guys. What?! My grumpy menstrual rant is in no way worthy of being tumblr famous. *is mildly to severely confused/thankful/bumfuddled*

Edit 3: Why is this still getting notes wtf

Southern MC and their cast iron skillet -

MC standing over the kitchen sink with their hands clenching the edge of the counter: BOYS!

The boys come running, recognizing MC's angry voice.

Lucifer: What is it this time, MC?

MC, taking a deep breath through their nose before speaking: Which one a y'all dumber than dirt idiots did this?

The boys are silent, so MC reaches into the dirty water, pulls out their now rusted iron skillet, and turns toward them, pointing it at them with a scowl written on their face.

MC: Now, I ain't stupid. It wasn't me, so dont even try to go that route. I left each and every one a y'all a simple list of instructions on how to care for this here skillet before I left to purgatory hall for the weekend. So I'll ask again... who did it? If I dont get an answer, all y'all are gone deal with the consequences.

Belphie: Is this really such a big deal? It's just a skillet.

MC glares at him: It is a big deal. Do you understand how a cast IRON skillet is maintained? Obviously, none a y'all do. Ya can't treat it like a regular skillet. You can't soak it overnight 'cause it will RUST 'CAUSE ITS MADE OF IRON! It's a tedious task to scrub all the rust off and reseason it, and even then, it takes a while for the damned thing to become seasoned to my liking! Which one of ya did it?! I won't ask again.

They remained silent, as always joining forces at the worst of times.

MC: Fine! Since all y'all wanna stand there like the lights are on but ain't no one home, I reckon I'll have to take this into my own hands. *They activated all of the boys pacts* Sit!

The boys do as they are told, their pact marks burning brightly at the command, as MC pulls out their DDD and calls a certain demon butler.

Barbatos answers, a knowing tone in his voice: MC, what can I do for you?

MC: Barb, darlin', could you be a dear and bring as many cast iron skillets as you can to the House of Lamentation? The boys need a lesson on how to care for 'em, and I intend for them to remember it well. I'll come to the castle and make you and Diavolo a pie for the inconvenience.

Barbatos chuckles: It would be my pleasure.

MC: Thank you, darlin'. See ya soon.

MC ends the call and turns her attention back to the boys: Now, when Bard gets here, y'all are going to wash the skillets, dry them with a dish towel, heat them on the stove, grease them, and set them aside to cool. When I return from Dia's, I am going to check every last one of 'em, and if they ain't done right, you'll do 'em again, ya hear?

They all nodded, some of them wore scowls on their face, while others looked sullen for being scolded.

Barbatos arrived soon after with so many skillets that it was comical, like he was prepared for this to happen. It was obvious he was far too entertained by this turn of events. The look on the brothers' faces at the sheer amount was hilarious.

When MC left with the Butler, bringing their iron skillet with them to clean it in peace, it didn't take long for the boys to turn on each other and an all-out war to take place.

When MC returned some hours later with a couple dozen pies and their renewed skillet, they found the boys scattered about looking worn out along with the damage they had done during their arguing. Mc almost felt bad for them. They had, however, finished all the skillets to perfection.

They all learned a lesson they would never forget.

You don't fuck with a southerners cast iron skillet.

🎤Hair ties🦎

Imagine: playing with the hair of the Madrigal twins.

🦎🎤☀🦎🎤☀🦎🎤☀🦎🎤☀🎤🦎☀🎤🦎☀🎤🦎

🦎☀ • Camilo doesn't really let anyone touch his hair, well besides his mamí. But he doesn't get a choice in that one, mostly because he is a mama's boy and can't deny his mama when she asks to brush his hair for old time's sake.

🦎☀ • When you both started dating he was ready to give you the hairbrush and any hair ties he could find in Casita, Camilo might be a natural flirt but when he falls he falls hard.

🦎☀ • he sits on the floor against his bed as he reads the new comic his Papí gave him for his birthday, leaning back as you run your fingers through his curls. He practically purrs at the feeling. It relaxes him every time.

His hair is actually very smooth and barely has any knots, mostly from the trauma he gained from his mother when he was younger about not keeping his hair well-kept as she yanked the hairbrush (if you know you know)

🦎☀ • Once you finished taking two sides of his hair and pulling each side tightening the hair tie and securing the high bun, his bangs hung around his face like his Mamí. He looked to his side stretching to see himself in his mirror from his sitting position and smiled. He liked it.

His Mamí was complimentary of his new hairstyle and was pleased to match with her son she had a rainbow over her head the rest of the day.

🦎🎤 • yeah. No. He doesn't let anyone touch his hair, and practically runs from his mamá when he sees her rushing toward him with a hairbrush, "Carlos Control that hair, or I'll do it for you!"

"No! Mamá it's my hair!"

*thunders*

🦎🎤 • When you start dating, it'll take some time before you get the privilege of touching his hair. He will try and hint at wanting his hair played with by resting his head in your lap but angles his head so his hair is perfectly in reach and accessible if you still don't get the hint? He huffs before grabbing your hair and placing it on his head.

🦎🎤 • His head rests on your lap as you both talk about your days (well, it's mostly just him braging about all the successful pranks he pulled that day) as you play with his hair. His hair is soft but has tangles for sure, no matter how many times his mamá lectured him about protecting his hair as he slept and detangling it regularly as she ripped a hairbrush through his curls before using a mountain of products to help with the detangling process it just never stuck.

But if you take the time to detangle his hair gently with few tugs as possible, he would appreciate it even if he won't say it out loud.

🦎🎤 • He barely notices his hair is in a high bun until he sits up and his hair doesn't cover one of his eyes like it usually does. He kinda just grumbles but is too lazy to untie the scrunchie knowing he would receive an earful if he just yanked it out not only from you but from his Mamá.

His mamá is very grateful for you and your service, if she had to detangle his hair one more time she was sure to thunder from his constant disregard of her words.

Obey Me! Brothers Eyes ft; My HCs. More info on My HCs listed below!!

Lucifer:

Lucifer I wanted to look the most Mature and Handsome. I gave him slit eye pupils and ocular scarring on one eye. I imagine he got his cross shaped scar in the war, it being a mark of a curse his Father laid upon him. Because of this curse, which I imagine to be mortality, I made him look slightly sickly, with translucent skin and pallor. I imagine he’s only got a few thousand more years left to live.

Mammon:

Mammon I gave golden freckles and one golden eye. I imagine he got this eye colour from an attempted spell to try and make his eyes turn golden in hue. However because he failed his spell classes, I imagine this failed, giving him heterochromia and 50/50 heterochromia in one eye. Lucifer scolded him for his reckless behaviours. Also I HC him as Aboriginal Australian, has nothing to do with his eyes specifically but I wanted an excuse to say that lol.

Leviathan:

I Imagine Leviathan has the least humanoid Demon form (it being a massive aquatic reptile) as such he struggles to maintain a convincing human form. This shows through with his eyes, them being dark and unblinking. I imagine instead of traditional blinking he has a nicitating membrane that covers his eyes from dirt and debris. He does however require eye drops to moisten his eyes when he’s away from water. I also imagine some of his scale pattern is still visible in his human form, Showing mainly around his eyes, neck, back legs and arms.

Satan:

Satan is the most humanoid of the demon brothers. Having light freckles, regular rounded pupils, and a more youthful appearance then his other brothers. The only sign something is different is the sigil in his eye, a sign of a spell he performed to grant himself more power.

Asmodeus:

(Note I HC Asmo uses any pronouns so I may use she or they when talking about him) Asmo was difficult as I picture her as a shapeshifter, them changing their body suit the trends. However I decided his most common form has rounded feminine features, long spiky lashes, and few demonic features that he deans cute (black sclera, slit pupils, pointed ears and sharp fangs etc). I imagine they wear light makeup, just enough to accentuate her features.

Beelzebub:

Beel has mostly humanoid features, save for his eyes. Instead of having a pupil and iris, he has one large multi compound pupil. Meaning instead of seeing one large image he sees thousands of tiny images, like a fly. Because of this I imagine he’s short sighted, and colour blind. However he is amazing at noticing form movement. Again much like a fly. Also my friend HCs him as a light skin black man so I do as well :).

Belphagor:

Belphie I wanted to make slightly more intimidating. I wanted to make him look gaunt and sickly, experiencing pallor, and with his eyes more deep-set. I also imagine his eyes have a spiral in them, one that if you stare into to long you can’t help but sleep. Also again, same friend HCs him as black so I do as well lol. Shout out to my boy Kris.

The Rest of the Casts eyes are coming soon. But for now we have the brothers!! Lemme know your HCs and who knows maybe I might take them on board lol.

Mammon head cannons

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I feel like mammon is totally prone to night terrors about loosing you and his brothers, normally waking up in a cold sweat. After literally having you head in his arms, he is horrified that it will happen again. While in bed, he will grip you tightly in his sleep, almost scared you will disappear again. Once awoken from one of these night terrors, he will stay in bed with you, head buried in your shoulder while his hand rests over your heart, or silently get out of bed and check on everyone. He hates seeing his family hurt.

Why do I feel like he has a split tounge. He got it medically done a couple hundred years ago and he thinks its a cool party trick. When asked if he would ever do it again, he says he would but in reality, he would probably never do it again. The healing process sucked, his tounge aching and in alot of pain while it healed, not being able to eat solid food for a while, having a constant headache, he wouldn't do it again.

Loves to have matching items with you <3 Weather it be a phone case, small rings, earrings, a necklace, loom band bracelets, outfits, nails, whatever. He loves matching with you though he never admits it was his idea. He HIGHLEY hinted at it until you said it first, which he agreed to almost immediately after abit of talking.

Is like a puppy whenever your up in the human world, sighing and laying around while he waits for you in his free time. He still goes to RAD, gamble, cause trouble, but whenever he has time to himself or doesn't have to focus on more things, your swarming his head. So happy once your back in devildom

So many rings, either got the idea from Asmodeus or it was trendy ages ago and it stuck with him forever. He has both silver and gold rings on almost all fingers, though he has once small home-made ring made from the handle of a spoon that you made him that he always keeps on his ring finger. Don't look into it too much human!

He loves seeing his pact mark on you, it gives him a small comfort. His mark is right on your left wrist, its easy to spot but also easy to hide. He enjoys just tracing it while you both are studying, doing it absent mindedly while he slightly zones out. If you mention it, he will blush deeply and move away, flustered while denying ever doing it

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Sorry this was short, my first post on this account! What would you guys like to see next?