I Like The Stories That Have Riddler Leaving His Life Of Crime To Run The World's Most Difficult Escape

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

Meanwhile, the youngest Madara is frowning at the both of them. His older self pats his cheek, his smile matching that of his counterpart, "Don't worry, you'll understand someday." He narrows his eyes and carefully does not mention how hard the other man had gotten during the eldest's threat. (Even less needs to be said about his own intense arousal)

"There's a slight difference, then. I have no issue watching my lover explore himself as long as I am involved in some way, and I am very fond of watching..." He tilts his head as best he can while in the alternate's violent grip. "I do wonder why you're not over there, then. Surely one of them would be distracted away from yours if you gave them something nice to play with."

It is strangely uplifting to know that he isn't the only one who is so inappropriately attached to his lover.

-

SugarTobi and youngTobi shiver and aren't sure what caused the chill that had simultaneously run down their spines. Then again, youngTobi isn't aware of very much at the moment as he cuddles closer and begins to sloppily kiss his way up gvTobi's chest. SugarTobi laughs quietly and pulls the younger away to kiss him. He motions with his hand and catches his alternate's attention.

"You good to keep going? I think this one is, at least."

Okay, hear me out. I know it's not canon that Jason drugged the other Titans during the Titans Tower Incident; he electrocuted two of them and then drugged the third.

But we're playing in the au's like bitch whatever, DC retcons and rewrites at the slightest provocation and we are here for stories, right?

And a lot of Titan's Tower au's have Red Hood drugging more people than in canon. And every time it happens there's an absolutely terrible little voice in the back of my head going, "Jason is so lucky that no one he drugged was hiding a substance abuse issue like Roy did. Jason is so lucky that none of these teenagers-to-young-adults who are incredibly physically active and who have so many traumas took some physician-prescribed, completely legal pain medications or anxiety pills or muscle relaxants. He is so lucky that any daily upkeep medication didn't cause a catastrophic drug interaction with the unknown. Heck, Jason is so lucky that whatever drugs he used were perfectly tailored to each individual's body mass and species."

I'm not saying I want a fic where Jason accidentally makes a young hero OD, but I think it would be interesting and darkly funny if Tim made him think he might have.

"You drugged everyone? Wait, even (X)?! What did you use, did you check to see if they took their benzos before you drugged them? (Y) Is allergic to propofol, was that part of the stuff you used?"

"Look, you can have the fight you want, just let me make you none of my friends are choking on their own vomit first."

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

SugarTobi moans quietly, rolling his hips against gvTobi with a short gasp against his neck. "F-Fuck...Yeah, yes, he'd like...Not too deep, we haven't, ah, trained ourselves yet..." SugarTobi's other hand braces itself on the eldest Tobi's hip and squeezes appreciatively. "Yeah, let him suck...He learns so fast~"

The youngest is shaking, lips parted and breath hot on gvTobi's thumb. His hand slides down the other him's arm to loosely hold his wrist. He wants to move forward himself, curl his tongue around the digit and take it into his mouth, but...Fuck, he also wants the other version if himself to take charge and...and fuck his mouth with whatever he damn well pleases. ("Not too deep". How embarrassing. What, is he the only one here with a gag reflex?)

SugarTobi's eyes flicker up to find gvMadara's, dazed and already near to falling into subspace. "Right..." he returns his attention to the man in his arms. "Command me, then. Tell me what you want me to do to your lovely body..." Dizzily, he becomes certain that he has spent too much time around Madara to have picked up some of his favorite descriptors of Tobi's body.

He huffs a laugh against his elders shoulder as he changes hands and begins to massage the man's nipples. That's new, too. Neither Sugar personally care about those, so...it's interesting. Caressing the parts of this body that is so similar to his own that if he looks down he can almost pretend he is touching himself. "Of course...don't go far past the uvula. He likes when you pet his tongue and let him suck..." A full body shiver goes through the youngest and he whines needly. "The...The palatine tonsils should be the limit..."

SugarTobi watches, enraptured, as his younger self begins to drift into subspace from gvTobi's fingers and voice alone. "Fuck...he's falling already? Wow..." He lightly bites his elder's shoulder to make sure he's paying attention. He's a bit jealous of the youngest, but won't let himself fall until he is sure that gvTobi can handle both or either of them. "He's going to be...extremely suggestible like this. Obeying orders is going to leave him euphoric...could probably get him off with praise alone." Not that SugarTobi knows anything about that. Madara's voice telling him what a good boy his is has certainly never brought him to one of the most intense orgasms of his life, no.

"It's....complete trust. If you get overwhelmed or don't want him...send him to my Madara; he will treat him well." He glances at the man he is speaking of and draws a short, stuttering breath at the intensity of the attention the Madaras are giving to them. The two Madaras in varied states of undress almost make him laugh and do fill him with a sense of accomplishment. Some of the most powerful ninja in the world are shucking their robes and running their hands over each other while hardly looking away from the trio of pretty lookalikes.

He meets the passionate gaze of the eldest Madara and presses his thumb down just a bit on the head of his alternate's dick on his next stroke. SugarTobi might shoot the man an arrogant smirk as he does.

Hey, I want to share my brainrot.

Broke: Superman is actually a bad person who doesn't love his bi son Kon because he thinks the kid is going to be a future villain.

Woke: Superman is understandably standoffish to his nonconsensually created clone made to replace him when he was dead. Superman didn't step up when and how he should have - that doesn't mean he didn't have character growth and learn to love Kon, even if he have the kids a name that is a Kryptonian slur.

Bespoke: Superman would LOVE to get to know and mentor this new guy, but whenever he looks at the kid his lizard hindbrain registers DANGER and it freaks him out. He doesn't know why, there's just something intensely Uncanny Valley about Kon. Clark has never understood humans talking about creepy dolls or being afraid of mannequins until now and he doesn't know how to process it? He doesn't even know how to explain it because everyone around him is acting like Kon is perfectly normal and fine and safe and Superman's the asshole for never engaging with him.

Human scientists fucking around with alien DNA made it so that Kon is permanently sending out Aggression in subtle, Kryptonian-only ways. By scent or sub-vocalizations, or posture, or some other alien subconscious way, Kon is both peacefully hanging out with his friends and at the same time indicating that he's about to murder them. Neither Kon or Clark know this! Clark unlearned most of these instincts when he was being raised as human and is used to the people around him not hearing/seeing/tasting/smelling quite right. Until there's this guy here, serving these VIBES.

(about the slur name. Consider that Nightwing is Superman's dear friend and nephew. Consider that he calls himself Dick. Imagine if Clark named Kon "Kon" as a way to honor Dick and like, it's his genuine belief that future Kryptonian speakers will think of Kon as a name first and a slur second, because this person is going to be so amazing)

I might have entered a murder pact with a 14-year girl old last night to kill her 12-year old sister, but honestly, this is the third time she's used Fireball in an enclosed area with the entire party in range.

I bet he only really had a contingency plan for Damian just as a therapy thing. Like how some people write fanfiction. Everyone else's plans was the equivalent of "meme on them", "join them", or "pretend I'm Batman trying to talk Superman out of mind control (again) (wear chapstick, this could get gay)"

Tim Drake (1998): I don't make contingency plans because I have friends, unlike Batman who is a friendless loser

Tim Drake (2009): My contingency plans have contingency plans

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

YoungestMadara groans at the commanding voice and sits on his heels behind his older self, firmly grabbing his hips and pulling him onto his lap. "Here, like this...you kneel and keep your hands on the ground, that's right. He said no touching, so only your pretty mouth is going to be taking that cock. That's right, right there, fuck..." He has spent an age working the man open with his fingers, lining himself up and pressing into that heat was almost criminally easy.

"Fuuuck, you're so ready for me, so fucking good..."

One hand rubs soothingly over SugarMadara's shaking back, brushing his hair to the side so he can scratch trails down the bared skin. The other hand grabs at his hair again and jerks his head back until his mouth is forced to open.

"Stick out your tongue, Soldier; I believe you have a position to keep."

His older self whimpers.

SugarTobi finally gets around to removing the rest of his clothes and lets his younger self sprawl over him, cuddling his back and watching the others with undisguised awe. He is...not completely fine. Trying to fall back under, but he cannot quite return to his state of euphoria.

"Why do like that crossover? Those are so different, why would you even think to cross them over? What's the point of it?"

Shit, y'all, it just sparks joy? It's fun to read? Fics get super cute and some get deep into the concept of family trauma and recovery from long-term abuse? It inspires really good art?

DC doesn't have a proper equivalent for Danny Phantom, so go ahead and squish him in there. Give the bats a new buddy, call it enrichment.

The Battle Falcon Arc continues

Can u tell my love for masked character designs. Be it pull-overs or gas masks or helmets or the classic plague doctor mask, one can express so much with just two little squinty eyes

Spreading more Duke and Danny friendship/romantic relationship/what-have-you in this cold cold world. Not enough Danny&Duke content out there so I'm breaking out the mixing bowl to bake some myself

I just like these two hanging out together, they have such good chemistry :D

--------

p.s. the idea of Danny’s mask being a plague doc's mask comes from @void-of-unparalled-chaos

ppp.ssss. the inspo of this comic also comes from @transsunmoonwizzard ‘s tags on the original falcon post. big thanks to you both, hot choco for everyone <3

This is a valid way to assimilate soul siblings

Frienshiped so hard my parents call them their fifth child

They slowly started calling my other friends their adopted children too it's actually really funny to me

The thing is... The Thing Is...!

The Honorable Chef Gordan Ramsey would immediately lose his shit at this contest because he is a motherfucking Scott! He is British by the technicality of Scotland being part of the United Kingdom.

And legitimately, he doesn't seem to drop curses without genuine cause or for a zingy one-liner.

Honestly, this silly prompt has gotten me updated on my Chef Ramsay lore and I'm just vibing with happiness for him. He's got 6 kids, none of whom seem to be terribly hounded by the press. He and his wife seem to be still very much in love. He's got so many businesses and ventures. He ran the London Marathon once a year for a solid decade.

He almost died while hunting puffins. He almost died again in a bicycle accident. He's extremely active in charity work and a surviver of child abuse and he's just. Yeah. He's worked extremely hard to live the life he's living now and I'm just really happy we - the world - get to know him a little bit.

And also, I'm like, even more craving a Very Special Episode kinda story with DC!Gordan interacting with superheroes. I want to see him being proud of Roy, or talking to Oliver Queen about what it's like to have a loved one with a heroin addiction and the struggle to balance supporting them vs enabling them.

Which of his TV shows could be an excuse to get him to Gotham? Specifically, Park Row. Probably The F Word. Because I really want to see shit go down and Chef Gordan making "we're trapped in an elevator" conversation with a fully kitted-out Red Hood. They're both car guys, it'd be cute to see them chat. Maybe they can swap violent father stories the way Spoiler and Batgirl got to.

I've given enough angst lately. Have something amusing:

Chef Bernard Dowd on Hell's Kitchen.

Imagine it, please. Imagine Tim gripping with bloody hands to the shreds of his self-control, trying not to physically attack Chef Gordan Ramsey for yelling at Bernard for fucking up the risotto.