Only In Gotham...

Jason: "Hey I need some help."

Dick: "Okay, wait a second, I'm getting another call. Hello?"

Tim: "Hey Dick, don't get mad, but I need your help with something."

Dick: "One second." *returns to earlier call* "What did you do?"

Jason: "Me? It's not always me, you know--"

Dick: "Sure Jay, hold up, I'm getting another call. Hello?"

Damian: "Batgirl and I require assistance, can we use your apartment for something?"

Dick: "What did Jason do?"

Damian: "...why are you asking about Jason?"

Dick: "Because... ugh, never mind. What did you do?"

Stephanie, in the background: "What? He never asks Tim all these questions."

Tim, muffled: "He asks me all the time."

Dick: "Wait a second, why the hell are all of you together?"

Jason: "We'll tell you but you gotta open the front door first."

....You know on one hand I didn't mean to imply that 'that' was what happened but at the same time that particular associate tends to flirt with everyone he sees that's over 18 so it is admittedly entire possible..... also explains why the poor man was so embarrassed

Hello again Chancellor,

I recently thought of something and wanted your opinion, as you are no doubt familiar with, the dragons of Tamriel all share the same basic body shape, slightly rounded body, long neck and tail, two legs and a pair of massive wings, however my associate, during one of his adventures came across a shrine to Peryite and noticed that the Daedric Prince is depicted as a dragon with FOUR legs, with the wings placed upon the back, any ideas as to why this is?

Side note. My associate (usually) makes a point to not touch things he doesn't understand, as per your and Chancellor Antony's caution, the (to my knowledge) one exception was when he overindulged and decided to mess with an object that ended up containing a rather annoyed Iron Atronach. I still don't know how that happened and I didn't bother asking, the poor man looked embarrassed enough but let's just say that was one of his less poor choices that night.

Well, the answer to your question is extraordinarily simple: Peryite is depicted as a six-limbed dragon, because on the (very few) occasions when a reliable eye-witness saw the Taskmaster and was in any shape to report back, the Daedric Prince took this form. But why it takes this particular form is a subject of a heated debate among the scholars of daedric matters... at least when they remember that Paryite should be considered.

My personal theory is that half of the red-tape process is in Paryite's domain and it wants to actually hold a quill in suitable claws.

As for your associate... A balm of aloe vera does wonders on burns in sensitive areas.

Flash: what the hell happened with no metas in gotham?

Batman: Signal is a special case, I trust him solely as one of gotham’s vigilantes-

Flash: What? No. I’m talking about the blue one. I saw him lift like, 1000 pounds the other day.

Batman: … it was that or therapy

I physically need Jason Todd to have several popular accounts as a reviewer of, honestly, anything.

New article in Gotham Gazette? A famous five-star reviewer already wrote a comment on what unethical methods the writer had used, along with debunking the rest of the article. And guess what? It has more likes than the original post.

New restaurant opened? Another famous critique just finished polishing a very detailed post regarding everything inside it — the decor, the cooking techniques, the service (he almost never picks up on waiters, though). It is so on the spot that, honestly, the owners can't even argue with the review.

New movie? Uh-uh, be sure you write your characters properly. New vigilante? Get detailed information on your methods of work and fighting style — and, hey, it might be even useful. New book? Be careful, someone is about to kick your ass on the Internet, unless written worthy.

The funniest part? No one assumes that it is the same person.

And the batfamily? Well, they have no time for this. Expect for... Tim.

Tim, sending a link to Vale's article: Hood. Drag her ass.

Jason: lol

Jason: give me, like, an hour–

Tim: Had I told you you are my favourite?

Jason: i might have an idea, yeah

Tim: Hood. The new restaurant is so ass. They are also homophobic and stared at me and Kon the whole evening like we killed someone. Do something.

Jason: sec

(The restaurant gets closed in, like, two days after that)

Tim: Jason. Bruce pisses me off this week.

Jason: LOL

Jason: wake up, birdie, the new article shitting on Batman's technics just dropped

Tim: YAY

When Sparkplug let it slip that she was a princess and also the daughter of one of the most notorious war mongers in history… Slipstream tried as hard as she could to get onto Sparks’s good side. Thankfully Sparkplug eventually found Slip charming in a way, and they eventually formed a strong friendship, breaking trends of the past.

Bee or King Vespae is trying his best to be taken seriously. However most people still see him as prince bumblebee, the little guy that would hide under his father’s cape, the same guy who’s still asking his mother to help him run things. Even as he tries to stay serious, figures from his past show up to make his job harder.

switcheroo part 2 electric boogaloo (soundwave edition)

for those of you who were wondering, yes soundwave is still the most loyal hes just a flamboyant conniving megalomaniac, and yes starscream is still traitorous hes just calculating and methodical and very very patient

part 3

Hi

Can we have some headcanons about GCPD reacting to Talon Dick? (We already traumatized JLA and Titans, now it is Gordon's turn, lol)

Heck yeah!

The first time Batman shows up with Talon in tow Gordon doesn’t even realize he’s there until Batman addresses him and Dick finally moves from his ominous perch on a nearby pillar. He was still enough that Gordon’s brain filed him away as a gargoyle. Gordon takes one good look at Talon and feels his fight or flight instinct kick in with full force. That golden eyed stare is a whole new kind of unnerving. He feels like a mouse caught in the gaze of a predator.

When Gordon not so subtly demands too now what the hell that “thing” is, Batman doesn’t even pause before saying “that’s Talon” and continuing with his debrief on the latest case. He refuses to to elaborate any further.

Gordon has to call a meeting when it becomes apparent that Talon (Gordon point blank refuses to think about the Cour of Owls being real. He refuses.) is now a permanent fixture at the Batman’s side because he’s had to console several terrified newbies during the last few weeks because Bird Boy’s scary factor is worse than the friggin Batman’s, and “No, commissioner! You don’t understand! I SAW HIM TAKE A SHOT TO THE THROAT AND WALK IT OFF!”

Gordon asks Batman only once if he has to worry about demons or zombies now, deciding that if the answer is “yes” he is going to quit. Damn it all. Unfortunately, the answer is no.

Dick takes a liking to the commissioner. The commissioner wishes Talon didn’t, because his heart palpitations definitely got worse since having a goddamn Talon show up in his office every other day. How did the guy even get in here? There was literally nobody in the room with him a second ago!

Just when Gordon thought he finally had the kid (because it IS a kid, he realizes with a nauseous twist in his stomach) all figured out, Robin shows up. Gordon had to call another meeting with the rookies after one of them insulted the walking traffic light and got dangled off the edge of a roof. New rule: No trash talking Robin. Ever.

Talon makes a game out of scaring the officers he doesn’t like. Gordon… doesn’t veto that game unless he knows that particular cop is clean. Which they rarely are.

Talon doesn’t talk in the presence of others for the longest time, and when he does Gordon nearly falls over in surprise. He was thoroughly convinced he’s only capable of bird speech.

Jason: "Dick, there you are, I--"

Dick, holding up his finger to his lip: "Shh."

Jason, raising a brow: "What's going on?" Dick, gesturing into the living room from the doorway: "I gave Dami some of my old toys a few days ago, and look, he's playing with them." Jason, holding back laughter at the sight of Damian moving a stuffed elephant and toy soldiers around the floor: "I didn't know he had it in him." Dick, whirling on Jason, his anger palpable: "No. Don't you dare. This is the first time I've seen him doing anything remotely close to what he should be doing at his age so don't you dare make fun of him for it." Jason, holding his hands up: "Jesus. I wasn't gonna... Okay, maybe I was, but whatever, I got it, no teasing baby bat for playing with toys."

Dick, nodding: "Good. Now come on, we should leave before he notices us and stops."

Jason: "You got it Dickie bird."

James Gordon as Batman in Batman 43

Imagine:

The JJ incident happens after Bruce disappears into the time stream, and before Tim gets kicked from Robin. Due to dick being spread so thin and Tim(Headcannon) Being antisocial and disappearing for days on end due to being used to solitude, this sudden disappearance goes overlooked until the joker starts jeering at batman any time he sees him, making jokes about how his new son is better now that that Robin mentality has been removed. Dick panics, searches high and low through Tim's normal hiding spots and finds nothing. Instead of Harley having taken Tim in this au I like the idea that she had left the joker when Tim first became Robin though the joker kidnaps her and manipulated/brainwashes her while he's ruining Tim too. Tim kills the joker like usual but he also throws Harley into a rehab center, before dick can talk to Tim he runs off to find Bruce.

Ooooooooh!

The best part about this is that Tim chucks Harley into a rehab center before diping. He's all like, "Damn. That was traumatic. You'll definitely need some help with that. Not me, though."

He can't even glance at himself in the mirror now, but he's fine. He's gotta go pick up Bruce from the timestream daycare.

There is one plot hole, though. Does Joker taunt Dick, Tim kills Joker, Tim leaves, and then Dick searches for Tim?

That'd be hella interesting.

Also, since JJ is so fresh, what if Ra's dunked Tim in the slime juice? Would Tim's mind just shatter?

Poor Tim. He's grieving the loss of 1.7 dads (Bruce isn't actually dead, and Joker isn't technically his dad either), maybe was told he's losing it by Dick before Joker forces him to actually lose it, and has the guilt/relief of killing Joker on his hands.

I would be interested in seeing Tim trying to cope with JJ as he travels. He sees JJ transposed over his image in reflections out of the corner of his eye. He hears the sound of electricity when he tries to sleep. Laughter echoes in museums and the cave. No matter what disguise he wears, it's difficult to stop smiling. The smell of face paint and bleach is ever present.

Anyways, I'd so be down to read a fic about JJ: Red Robim edition.