Batman Has A Very Specific Code That's On Everyone's Communicator That He Warns The JL To 'Never Tap

the decision to make damian a doctor is genuinely an excellent idea bc at the end of the day a big part of his character is ultimately feeling as if he has to honour his family. I don’t necessarily think that he has to give that up to change and grow as a character- in fact becoming a doctor quite literally is the inverse of his horrible childhood. it literally demonstrates the extent to which he wants to prevent harm to others, when he literally started out as an assassin.

besides i know bruce was smug as fuck towards talia lmaoooooooo



talia: you don’t understand- he MUST honour his grandfather’s legacy.

bruce, choking back tears: yeah he fuckin will 🫡

I have an idea:

Tim is Damian's fave brother. He shows it by stabbing him, because in his world aka the loa, if someone is a threat it's a great compliment, and they are treated as such.

The batfam is freaking out bc Damian is trying to kill Tim but he's really just trying to show that he thinks Tim's a really competent person and totally worthy of being his brother.

ooooh this tis so crucnhy gimme a sec-

Timothy was being cruel to himself again. It wasn't uncommon, really, that the third youngest was overly critical of himself, especially concerning work related things, but every time set Damian's teeth on edge.

"Its such a stupid mistake! What am I?? Five!!?!?!" Tim ranted, waving the misprinted sheet around in the air. "Someone could've gotten hurt because of this!"

"Tim, it's not that big of a deal." Dick tried placatingly. "Not a big deal?" Tim shouted back. "What do you mean its not a big deal??? If Jason hadn't caught my dumb mistake one of you could've gotten hurt!" He shook his head in disgust at himself, dropping into a chair.

"Honestly Bruce should've fired me all those years ago. I am a horrible partner."

"Hey!" Dick protested, but Damian knew his eldest brothers arguing wouldn't get anywhere. Tim didn't believe any of the support Dick tried to give him, and was doubtful of even Bruce's praise, which was hard for any of them to brush off.

Damian tuned out his brothers angry argument, weighing the small dagger in his hand. Tim had gifted it to him, on a patrol they had run together oh so long ago.

"A gift." Tim had said. "From one Robin to the next." He hand winked then, grappling away. "Try not to stick it in my back, yeah?" He'd hollered into the wind, and Damian had smiled, in spite of himself.

And he had kept the promise. While Jason and even Dick had gotten plenty of blades lodged in certain places over the years, Damian had never truly attempted to harm Tim. Not in that way. Not anymore. But now...

Tim would never believe he was good enough if Damian didn't see him as worthy competition. He lifted the small dagger up and down a bit, testing how it moved. It was fine craftsmanship, he had to admit, and, though he hated to say it, if he wasn't so attached to it he might even use it more in battle. But, that was no matter. Timothy was distracted anyway.

Damian walked over casually, fighting the urge to creep, to sneak up, because that would only draw attention. Tim even leaned towards him, arm lifting to hug him, even as he continued arguing, eyes not even looking his way. The easy show of trust had Damian hesitate for a second, but he didn't dwell on it long.

Tim looked surprised when he spotted the knife sticking out of his side. "What's wrong?" Dick asked, puzzled as to why he had suddenly stopped speaking. Tim looked at the blade, then lifted his eyes to Damian's in confusion.

"I find you a worthy opponent Drake." Damian said softly. Tim's eyes widened in surprise a moment before Dick was on them, dragging Tim to the med bay while angrily shouting at Damian. But Tim's eyes never strayed from his little brothers face, gratitude shining in his eyes.

Bruce only kept the Batmobile as a name because Dick would refuse to call it anything else and Alfred enabled him in the days before the car had an autopilot, asking Bruce which car over and over and listing all their luxury cars alphabetically until Bruce gave into the name.

Dick: So, you know how I’m part of an online circus?

Jason: What the actual hell is an online circus?

Dick, exuberant: It’s like... an on-demand Cirque du Soleil! People book us for events—birthdays, concerts, whatever—and performers log in from all over the world.

Jason: ...so you have clowns.

Dick, visibly sweating: Well, it’s more than clowns! We have aerialists, jugglers, fire-eaters—

Jason, standing up, looming over Dick: But you have clowns.

Dick, desperate backpedal mode: Technically, yes. But they’re like artistic clowns. Highbrow. Minimal honking.

Jason: Minimal honking? You’re telling me there’s still honking?

Dick, defensive: Controlled honking. Tasteful honks only.

Jason, crossing his arms: Joker-level honks?

Dick, horrified: Joker doesn’t even have a clown permit! He’s not qualified.

Jason: He went to clown school.

Dick: No, he shot up a clown school. That’s different.

Jason, sitting back down: You know why this pisses me off.

Dick, quietly: Yeah, I do.

Jason: It’s weird, right?

Dick: Super weird.

Jason: Sometimes I feel like you should be more messed up about clowns. Like, my level of messed up.

Dick: I know, bud.

Jason: It’s just... I feel alone in this whole clown thing.

Dick: You’re not alone. Gotham as a whole has a no-clown policy. Did you know circus clowns refuse to work here?

Jason: Of course. Otherwise, your little e-circus would’ve been torched.

Dick: By Joker?

Jason, thinking about that one time he shot up a department store window for displaying clown shoes: Uh... yeah. Yeah, Joker.

Dick: Well, for what it’s worth, you’d be great in the online circus.

Jason, deadpan: You saying I’m a clown?

Dick, grinning: No, but you are a high-value performer. People would pay top dollar to see Red Hood juggle guns.

Jason, pulling a gun from his holster and spinning it effortlessly: You mean like this?

Dick, mock clapping: Bravo! Now add some honking, and you’re ready for the big leagues.

Jason, standing up, gun still in hand: You have three seconds to run.

Dick, already halfway out the door: for the record, I'm a performer, so this retreat is performative and just to keep you happy-slash-entertained

Jason: get out!

You know the dread you feel when you see the villain/monster of a horror movie just standing out in the open? Waiting for the protagonist/main character to see them?

Sometimes Bruce does that as Batman — waits directly underneath a streetlight, or in the center of a day-lit alley. Waiting for their eyes to slip past him, only to dart back to his chest, shoulders, and head in sudden, trembling terror.

Because it’s not about hiding. It’s about being seen. About intentions being unmistakable, until the criminals find themselves wishing for the uncertainty of shadows again. Darkness, instead of the dead-eyed, blunt obviousness of daylight.

Okay but what if, Ra's Al Ghul although being affably evil in my eyes, when the Court of Owls invade his palace to harm his family is not what he will let happen.

*yes some ooc, this was written for fun and for me I do still see Ra's as a villainous man that I don't like, but I've also always thought as bad as he is, he would never let snooty rich foes harm his family... that's his job and he labeled them as tests lol. Context here is that the Court of Owls after being rejected by Ra's and Batman, tracked Damian and Talia and were going to do unspeakable acts to them. Ra's made it in time and he's about to go full bad ass grandpa!

Ra's al Ghul entered the palace, his green and black cloak billowing as he stepped over the body of an owl member he had just stabbed.

Ra's: I come back and find my palace desecrated, sacked like Gotham. Worst of all, I hear you dare to touch my daughter and hurt her boy! I... have had.... enough.

The countess of the court, Lizabeth, stepped forward, her blonde hair slipping from her cloak.

Lizabeth: Old king, we only wanted to convince you to join us. The one who spoke those threats is dead, thanks to you. How about we handle this—

Ra's’s arrow cut her words short as it pierced her heart, sending her crumpling to the ground, lifeless.

Ra's (calmly, almost mockingly): No.

The lights in the palace went dark as Talia entered, cradling Damian in her arms. Though only eleven, she effortlessly carried him, surprising the young boy as the sounds of scattering and screams echoed through the halls. The palace staff remained hidden, leaving only the formerly ruthless assassins to fall one by one to Ra's's fury.

Ra's: "Let's go after a man who's practically a God, who has spent countless years mastering numerous fighting styles and weaponry, and think we can harm his family." Brilliant strategy, truly. You’re all so clever, aren’t you?

He struck down another panicking member who hadn’t seen him in the shadows. Any assassin who dared to attack was met with the swift bite of his sword, sheathed at his side.

As panic spread, six members huddled together—four men and two women.

Sebastian: Where is he? WHERE IS HE?!

Mara: Keep your head down! He's aiming for the torches!

Henry: Our weapons... they’re missing! He’s using the darkness to mask his approaches!

John: Our only chance is to strike in the darkness. We know these halls! We can tilt the odds!

Ra's (from the shadows): You don’t think I know my own palace? I BUILT IT!

In a brutal flurry, Ra's slaughtered all six members. More deaths followed until he cornered the remaining foes in a room after they attempted to harm Talia and Damian.

Alvah (with a sword embedded in his chest, begging): Mer... mercy...

Ra's: Mercy? MERCY?! My mercy has long since drowned. It died to make me who I am. And as long as you're around. My family's fate is left unknown. You plotted to kill my grandson... You planned to RAPE MY DAUGHTER! ALL OF YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!

Ra's yanked the sword free and seized Alvah by the hair.

Ra's (coldly): You filled my heart with hate. All of you who've done me wrong. THIS WILL BE YOUR FATE!

In a swift motion, Ra's beheaded Alvah, his lifeless body crumpling to the ground, horrifying the remaining members. As they screamed in terror, Ra's and Talia dispatched the rest with ruthless efficiency.

Damian (hidden in a closet, whispering): I want to come out, but I feel like I’ve seen enough blood for a lifetime.

Talia: Oh, yes, stay there, tifl. Give us a few minutes to clean up!

Damian (surprised): Mmmkay... did grandpa save us?!

Talia (smiling at her father): I think he did.

Ra's (shaking blood off his sword): Don’t dwell on it. Just... no one harms my family. No strangers, and no foolish, wealthy simpletons. And don’t hug me!

Talia shrugged, giving her father a gentle pat on the shoulder. Ra's, now covered in blood, felt an odd sense of relief in having saved his family. He knew he was ruthless, but he felt justified—it was a necessary purging for the protection of those he loved. In his formative years, he had sworn he became softer with a grandchild, but this time around, he didn’t mind.

GET AWAY FROM ME FLESH HAT MAN

Went to the wild west and back to get you these Tubi recos. You’re welcome.

You’re a regular office worker born with the ability to “see” how dangerous a person is with a number scale of 1-10 above their heads. A toddler would be a 1, while a skilled soldier with a firearm may score a 7. Today, you notice the reserved new guy at the office measures a 10.

Superman, trying to befriend Batman: If not friend, why friend shaped?

Literally everyone else, looking at Batman's costume, designed to be menacing and incite fear: He is NOT friend shaped!!

The office but it's just the Batfamily.

Batman/Bruce, in the middle of a huge argument in the diner room: I have no favorites.

Batman (to the camera): My favorite is Cass. She can neutralize every single one of us.

Camera on cass eating a bagel, while Bruce narrates: And I respect that.

---

Duke: Cass.

---

Cass: Duke.

---

Steph: Cassie!

---

Selina: You know who it is.

---

Jason (to the camera): Dick? Oh that's so fucking easy it's the gremilin

Tim (To the camera): It's the gremlin.

Oracle/Babs (To the camera): Damian.

Steph: Evil child.

Damian: Me.

Dick as nightwing in a rooftop walking around with his hands: Oh my god, I can't belive you even asked me this??! We are all a big ass family and- We just keep going, like there's so many people here who I never saw before snd they just *poof* keep spalming and- Like cmon guys get a grip-

Dick (To the camera): *sight*

Dick:... It's Damian.

----

Jason (To the camera) without batting an eye: Tim.

Cameraman: I'm sorry- *checks notes* I'm confused... Didn't you to- Tried. to kill Tim Drake once?

Jason:

Jason: So?

------

Tim (To the camera): I feel like I should say Bruce....

Tim: I mean it needs to be someone I admire, respect, enjoy and stand up for despite all flaws.

Tim: Like despite every single wrongs right?

Tim:

Tim:

Tim, horrofied: Oh my god it's Jason.

Jason on the other side of the window behind Tim wearing a full Red-Hood atire and holding a cellphone gen 1: HA-HA.

----

Alfred (to the camera): It's not Master Bruce.

Bruce: Alfred? Definitely not me.

Dick: It's Bruce.

Alfred (to the camera): You don't raise as many children as the fate bring to your doorstep by yourself, take care of their wounds, wait for them in a cold night without getting any type of rest until you receive a single sign indicating that they got home safe and then get the luxury to choose.

Alfred (To the camera): I wouldn't even consider the luxury of choosing.

Alfred, serving tea at the dinner table: You all made my hair go gray equally.

----

Babs (To the camera): Me.

----

Damian: This is ridiculous, obviously I would pick my father.

Damian to the camera: Nightwing.

---

Harley: I'm not even sure how y'all let me be part of this.

Camera man: We didn't-

---

Commissioner Gordon ( To the camera): If I'm being honest I feel like I resent every single one of them.

Commissioner Gordon: Except of course, my daughter.