Arkham Knight: IF

Arkham Knight: IF

Arkham Knight: IF

I've been doing a lot of Ace Attorney reworking lately... I figured this gives me the perfect excuse to dive into a one-shot for Arkham Knight. One of my fav games, in spite of the criticisms against it. (人◕ω◕)

As a forewarning: this universe is set apart from comics and established game universe (despite there being some similarities in the game's lore). I'm not an avid comic reader, so it is not my intent to upset anyone. I'm merely presenting a possible universe based off information I learned through the Arkham games and any tidbits I pick up from elsewhere.

And if you're wondering why I'm skimming over Jason being saved? Or a retelling of Arkham Asylum? Well, a good buddy of mine wrote a couple fanfics on those events a long time ago. I don't feel like treading the same ground as him, and I'm skipping Arkham City because it's just the major catalyst of what I wish to really muse on. Maybe one day I'll circle back and muse on it, but for now I'll focus on Arkham Knight. (人◕ω◕)

But I'll give a brief rundown of the events that led up to this. Batman manages to save Jason from Joker after a few months. Tim Drake still joined on as Robin because Bruce needs backup out there and he was making too many careless mistakes because of his tireless, relentless search for Jason. Moreover, Barbara was shot by Joker during these few months, which is why she couldn't step up as Bruce's sidekick in Jason's absence.

When the second Boy Wonder is saved and brought back to Wayne Manor, things are... tense. Jason has to recover physically and mentally from Joker's brutal torture, and he doesn't take it very well that Tim stepped in as Robin. However, Tim steps aside gracefully to let Jason reclaim the mantle of Robin since it's so important to him. Not that Tim quits as a member of the Bat Family - he just transitions to the title of Cardinal (may become Red Robin at a later date; for now Tim's thinking of Jason's feelings). Jason... isn't completely satisfied with the pity shown to him, but he hashes things out with Bruce and establishes that he's still Robin, that he still has a home at Wayne Manor. Barbara, Tim, Alfred, Bruce, they all still care for Jason. (人◕ω◕)

Arkham Asylum progresses similarly to canon, just with Jason tagging along as Robin and wrestling through his hatred for Joker. Doesn't help that Joker knows he broke this Robin, and uses every opportunity to steal him back... But it never pans out. Joker is prevented from a Titan transformation at the end of the night - Jason snipes it out of Joker's hand before he can inject himself. Keeps the events on the island from being televized, at least. And also - Scarecrow still gets devoured by Croc to some extent. That doesn't change. Dr. Young is spared from dying... though she does have much to answer for in developing Titan... (人◕ω◕)

Arkham Knight: IF

Arkham City as such progresses with a healthy Joker and a mentally spiraling Jason. (人◕ω◕);;; He's starting to feel that keeping these crooks alive isn't worth the pain if they're just going to bust out again and be terrible human beings. But right now it's Joker he's focused on... because he targeted Bruce (and himself) on Arkham, and the Clown's being given all this freedom in Arkham City... He's not happy.

Bruce tries to keep him out of the Arkham City fiasco, but he slips in with Tim when Cardinal brings Batman the line launcher. Jason not hooking up with Bruce does bring a wave of uneasiness, and it complicates the mission to bring down Arkham City. Bottom line? Batman and Oracle still stop Protocol 10 after it's initiated, but Jason kills Joker before Clayface kills Talia. Batman, Robin, and Talia then take Clayface down together... But after Bruce blows up the Lazarus Pit, there's the matter of Jason taking a life and having to own up to that to GCPD.

Ultimately, Jason is arrested and sent to prison, but the lawyers manage to argue it was in self-defense, which shaves off years of his sentence. Being too invested in Jason, Bruce is kept in the dark about his son's rehabilitative process; Alfred is allowed to know certain details, but for some reason Bruce is kept out of the loop. They tell him their hands are tied due to Jason being uncovered as a member of the Bat Family, but even Batman can't... get anything out of Gordon. It's clear that something is amiss, but Bruce doesn't press too hard, even as Batman confronting Gordon - Jim begs his old friend to trust him, and Bruce...grudgingly backs down. (人◕ω◕)

So already, we see some stark differences in this timeline: Joker never became terminal because of the Titan, so he didn't infect all those people (including Bruce) with his blood. This means no people to cure of Joker's blood. Which in turn means when Scarecrow makes his move against Gotham, Batman has no excuse to keep Tim away from events, as much as Bruce would like to tackle this all on his own because of his failure to keep Jason from crossing the blood red line. (人◕ω◕) Alfred, Barbara, and Tim can tell that Bruce's guilt is gnawing away at him, but they won't let him face this night alone. They're also aware of some things that Bruce will... likely react negatively to.

Arkham Knight: IF

But when Scarecrow has so much of the criminal underworld collaborating on a scheme to kill Batman and ruin his reputation...? Well. They can't treat this night like any other. (人◕ω◕) Batman's going to war, so the Bat Family is joining him on this crusade. All of them. (人◕ω◕) And not just the Bat Family... Gordon, Cash, GCPD, and some new faces that will throw Bruce for a loop. Scarecrow is relying on Deathstroke to run a militia in the hopes of overwhelming Batman with gear, weapons, and sheer numbers. On this night more than any other, Bruce needs an army of his own. (人◕ω◕)

Arkham Knight: IF

The first stretch of the night involves Batman tracking Scarecrow down and stopping his plans at Ace Chemical, turning the facility into a bomb to spread his toxin across the entire eastern coast of America. That goes about the same, with Deathstroke remotely piloting the helicopter to kill Batman while he's searching for hostages. And his militia move to occupy Gotham while Batman is busy with Ace Chemical.

But as he's wrapping up the mess at the factory, Bruce is cut off from Oracle abruptly and this alarms him - believing somehow Deathstroke got to her. He demands Tim go check on the situation, and focuses on shrinking the blast radius since it's too late to stop the factory from detonating. Bruce manages to apply the four canisters of the neutralizing agent, and then ride out of there in the Batmobile. Outside, he gets updates on the city's situation from Alfred, and contacted by Gordon. Feeling Barbara's life is at stake, Batman requests to meet up and confess everything.

Arkham Knight: IF

... When he rendezvouses with Jim, Bruce is given his first major shock of the evening: The Commissioner already knows Barbara is working for him, and he further already knows who Batman is. Gordon didn't want to say anything until preparations were complete, and he assures Bruce that only the people Jim trusts with his life know Batman's identity. They've been preparing this past year, ever since the incident in Arkham City. Preparing for a threat too large for Batman to contain by himself. As it stands, they're not as ready as Jim would like to be... But the criminals of Gotham have made their move, and all they can do now is react accordingly.

It's revealed that for this past year, Jason has been training a small militia of his own under the strictest supervision by GCPD. Trained them in everything he knew about how Batman fights and passing on the techniques and, to some extent, the gear. And through his knowledge of the Bat Family, of his connections with Wayne Enterprises and Lucius Fox, GCPD has been rebuilding Arkham Island without the city's council (or anyone) being any the wiser. It's difficult to ask the people of Gotham to keep trusting in the police when they keep letting things spiral out of control; Arkham City wasn't completely on them, but the public only sees the disaster that happened there. It still falls on GCPD's shoulders to do... something, anything...!

Hence, they're trying things this way. The public appreciates Batman to some extent, so if they have a task force that can operate like him and cut down on crime in the city... It should help in tackling the gauntlet that Scarecrow has thrown down with this alliance of Gotham's underworld. Batman won't be alone out there, and they won't just be using the GCPD's holding cells until the nightmare is over, Arkham Island's reopened... for the most part (a year is hardly time to fix everything wrong on that island). They can worry about the courts and the public's reactions later. Right now? Barbara's stationed there with a few of Jason's most trusted men. He's been making great strides in his rehab, though that could also be attributed to the friendships he's made with the personnel they've brought in - former soldiers of all ranks and sizes. Soldiers that were abandoned by their countries and left with nowhere else to go. The numbers may not compete with Deathstroke's army, but it's something.

Though he's troubled with Jason leaking secrets to Gordon and GCPD, Bruce is nevertheless thankful they've tried to contain these endeavors to people they trust without question. It still complicates things with more people knowing who Batman is, but for now Bruce will trust in Gordon, Lucius, Alfred, and everyone who spun this into motion. They're really trying to help Batman... And only time will tell how Jason's "army" will pan out after tonight.

Arkham Knight: IF

Focusing on the here and now, free of having to worry about Barbara, and only the concern of Tim and Jason acting on their own in the city, Bruce lets his allies handle Bleake Island and make that their stronghold. He turns to Miagani to tackle elements of Deathstroke's militia and confront the Penguin with Dick swinging in from Bludhaven to help share intel on North Refrigeration. Knowing better than to even try sending him away from Gotham, Bruce allows his oldest son to keep tracking trucks so that they can destroy all of Penguin's caches.

Shortly after losing track of Penguin, Batman follows up on a lead that brings him to Stagg's airships and Jason hooks up with him, bringing along a few of his men to fight off Deathstroke's militia. The two of them finally chat after a year's worth of silence. Jason reveals that he was the one to come up with the idea of forming a "Bat Army" after the snafu with Tyger operatives in Arkham City. He hated feeling so overwhelmed in Arkham City, wondered if they would really survive the ordeal. Jason knows that by all accounts he betrayed Bruce by killing Joker; but to this day he still doesn't regret putting the Clown in the dirt. Jason is doing his best to power through rehab, to understand the gravity of ending lives... It's just, the Joker was deeply personal to Jason. After suffering for months under that sadistic torture, after stewing in so much anger and hatred over what that Clown did to Barbara and what he could do to Bruce, to Alfred, to Tim, to Dick... Jason has no regrets about that kill. When Jim came to him with the idea of working together to help Batman, Jason gave in without question.

Because... even if he and Bruce don't see eye-to-eye on everything, Jason doesn't want him to die. He's still loyal to the Bat Family, and he's felt capable and useful training these guys. It's a rush to be the Commander for once, to plan and make contingencies... He's not just Bruce's "underling" anymore. Jason needs Bruce to understand they're working with him, not for him. ... And yes, Barbara helped him iron out these feelings of his. Those were her words, and he agreed 100%.

It's sobering to see his son so grown up, to see all his "sidekicks" acting independently and yet so cohesively. What they're doing is bold and reckless, but it's no different than what he's been doing for years as Batman. And perhaps it's for the best they're operating as a team - for all the weaknesses that come with more people knowing their secrets, it's made up by the fact they have a reliable network of people looking out for one another.

Arkham Knight: IF

Bruce and Jason confront Scarecrow together... But Deathstroke extracts his boss with the Cloudburst and escape. Still, they take Stagg into custody and Jason has a few more men collect the defeated militia members left on the airships. While they work on a strategy to counter the Cloudburst (approaching Ivy for assistance), and a strategy to mount an assault on Founder's Island... Some threats are knocked out by their allies.

When Two-Face starts hitting banks, Tim personally handles that one with Barbara offering remote backup. Dick tracks another refrigeration truck and takes out another of Penguin's weapons caches. Before he proceeds to Founder's Island, Bruce is asked to help restrain Firefly, who's attacking the fire stations across the city; Jason makes sure the pyromaniac stays down after the first loss. Jason's men go about tracking the missing firefighters, and investigating Professor Pyg's murders. As for Riddler, Talia resurfaces and takes him down with her sister and her faction of the League of Shadows; they leave Nigma for GCPD to collect. This liberates Catwoman without a need for a massive scavenger hunt.

With all of this taken care of, Bruce moves onto Founder's with Jason and his men providing backup with APC's. Bruce eliminates the Cobra Tanks, and then they go about combing Founder's Island, taking out Deathstroke's militia meticulously and searching for the Cloudburst. It's a slog with so many criminals and militia working together, but it gets easier as the night progresses because of the minor threats getting chipped away at. The firefighter's are rescued by Jason's men, including the Chief; Professor Pyg is taken down by Tim; Dick tracks down the last few of Penguin's caches and brings him down personally; Azrael is confronted by Talia and Nyssa, and freed from his brainwashing; the Man-Bat is identified and administered a cure by Jason with Oracle's help; Blackfire and his cult are taken down by Tim and Dick collaborating...

Arkham Knight: IF

It's a long night. Deathstroke still rides out in a tank and sets off the Cloudburst... Bruce works with Ivy to quell the threat after dealing with Deathstroke's tank, yet the assassin does slip away after suffering defeat. Ivy disperses the cloud left hanging over Gotham, and because of their quick reaction time to the main threat she's left close to death but ultimately saved and hospitalized. This leaves Bruce and allies to chase down Scarecrow and Deathstroke, who do everything in their remaining power to fight back. They rely on distractions that Harley, Hush, Killer Croc, Freeze, Mad Hatter, and Ra's create to take Jim hostage. The threats are all eventually incapacitated or convinced to leave Gotham... But Deathstroke mounts a final massive assault on GCPD with drones and tanks, and has a final clash with Jason, while Bruce goes after Scarecrow and Jim.

In the end, Scarecrow doesn't even come close to winning, even with holding Jim hostage. He gets a dose of his own medicine and is left a twitching, paranoid wreck as they haul him in at last. Batman's identity isn't unmasked publicly, so there's no need to enact the Knightfall Protocol. GCPD is tangled up in court proceedings with all the crooks they rounded up, but the new Arkham Island proves to be a decent enough prison to hold them all. The important part comes next - turning the prison into a proper rehab center, nipping all corruption in GCPD's ranks before it can become a problem again. Working more intimately with the Bat Family from now on... that seems doable. Especially with Jason's trained militia being the main guards for the foreseeable future. The fact that Ivy helped Gotham after all her years of hating it... Rehabilitation is possible. They just have to keep trying; hope for the best, and prepare for the worst.

It's a lot to adjust to moving forward... But Bruce isn't alone in his quest to protect Gotham. (人◕ω◕)

Arkham Knight: IF

More Posts from Dragonboygobrrrrr and Others

4 months ago

“Fatherless behavior” stop giving my DAD credit for all the work my MOM put into making me a terrible person!! Stop erasing women in history!!

4 months ago

Tim, making chicken and dumpling soup, dropping a dumpling on the floor: This is sadder than the time I lost my spleen.

Bruce, choking on his coffee: Excuse me?

1 month ago

Yeah sounds about right

One day Tim’s out in casual clothes just roaming because Alfred said he needed to spend time in the sun (Jason said his sickly Victorian child was showing which is what actually got him outside).

Anyway he’s minding his business, bored out of his mind, when an alert about the riddler goes out. He escaped Arkham and Tim is like “I’ve got nothing better to do,” So he tracks him down. Except he tracks him down as Tim Drake, not Red Robin because he was told to get sunlight as Tim.

Kid basically knocks on the door the Riddler’s hideout like “I’m bored and I’m pretty sure I can out riddle you.” And the Riddler isn’t gonna take that challenge sitting down.

He doesn’t even have a plan set up yet. Just drags Tim in like “guess I’ll use this kid as bait he is influential.” And the entire time he’s setting up his elaborate trap he’s shooting riddles back and forth with Tim. Ten minutes in he’s given up on the trap because Tim is not only keeping up but is also dishing out stellar riddles. Riddler’s not about to risk killing one of the few people in Gotham that are actually entertaining.

By this point the Bat’s “Tim Radar” Has gone off. They haven’t heard from him and he hasn’t checked in for the Riddler Breakout. So they track him and they find him sitting in Riddler’s hideout with a mug of coffee playing the equivalent of four dimensional chess but it’s the game Clue.

It ends with the Riddler being willing to go back to Arkham so long has he has regularly scheduled enrichment time with Tim.

Tim’s content with that. Honestly he had a lot of fun.

Bruce is exhausted.

6 months ago

only in gotham...

so a common trend for businesses in Gotham is to hang up a sign in their window, or have it sitting at the front of the store that say "all unattended children will be given over to Bruce Wayne' and some even say "to Batman and become the next Robin" its all to encourage parents to keep their children close, this is Gotham after all, and a subtle reminder, hey keep an eye or your kid, you break it you buy it sort of stuff

the most memorable occasion i can think of of these signs being spotted however, are when one of Batkids or a Wayne child comes into contact with them. I was shopping at the supermarket where the cashier had one such sign hanging above her checkout, when Stephanie Brown, followed by Damian Wayne and Tim Drake walked in. They perused the store for a few minutes, when Stephanie noticed the sign. She screamed at the top of her lungs and pushed Tim, who landed against damian. the two boys glared at her, noticed the sign, and immediately fled, Damian near tears as he sprinted next to his siblings. the cashier and i could not stop laughing

about a week later i was buying my girlfriend flowers at a corner store, with the batman sign dangling from a nearby pole (they are also on the streets to remind parents not to let their kids wander alone in gotham) when Nightwing and Red Hood came running past, and spotted the sign. Red Hood looked around wildly and fled, arms raised in the air as he sprinted down the street and away from the store, while Nightwing, laughing, just cartwheeled down the street, calling out 'Batman!!!! oh batman!!!!' the Bat came running past seconds later, fleeing. Nightwing cackled madly and sprinted after him

only in gotham...

4 months ago

I really need more stuff on some Joker Junior angst, along with Jason finding out about Joker Junior. Even better if you wanna pull in the whole Red Hood (Joker/Jason) Attacking Robin (Jason/Tim), both times when Robin was 15 years old and was supposed to be with someone/somewhere safe.

Hmm... I agree that more content about that would be fabulous. I especially love JJ fanart (there's some really cool ones on TikTok).

Fuck it. Here we go:

TW: torture, Joker Junior, violence, blood, flashback, dissociation, derealization, hallucinating(?)

Tim hands fly to his throat in a desperate attempt to rub away the urge to giggle. He's biting his lips hard enough to bleed in order to prevent them from twisting into a panicked grin.

He's pinned to the floor by a man using one of Joker's alias.

Just like old times, eh?

A snicker slips out at that, which only seems to enrage the man in red.

"Something funny, Placeholder?" The voice modulator in the helmet does nothing to hide the clear disdain and wrath curling through Red Hood. His grip tightens over his holsters, but he doesn't pull them out quite yet. The crimson helmet just glares down at Robin.

Red, red, red. He'd look so much better in Green.

Fuck. Note to self, Tim. JJ likes Red Hood.

Robin locks his face down at this revelation to keep a calm facade. He could try to dislodge the knives holding him hostage, but not with the perpetrator towering over him like this. "Nope. My bad, Hood. Got a little distracted. Where were we?"

The crime lord takes a few steps forward until he's next to the trapped bird. Somehow, he makes even the action squatting appear menacing. "This is the part where I torture you. Where I cut off a little bird's wings so you'll never fly again. Maybe then, B will learn."

Robin watches as Hood draws another knife. The crime lord twirls the blade between his fingers and tilts his head. There's a considering glint evident in his body language.

In a sick mockery of comfort, Red Hood trails the knife down Robin's cheek. It's too close to Joker's signs of "affection" after a round of shock treatment.

Junior shudders.

The leather jacket starts to morph into a lavender lounge coat and Tim blinks rapidly to clear his vision.

A sigh of relief escapes his lips when he's able to see Red Hood again.

The crime lord pauses. He tilts his head once more. Tim can feel the gaze studying him, but he's not sure why. He can't tell if the man is genuinely curious or if he's inspecting Robin like a bug trapped in plexiglass.

When the knife leaves his skin, Tim feels his shoulders lose an inch of tension.

"Don't get too comfortable. I've got a few questions before I snap your legs."

Tim can feel a jolt of pain flash through his legs at the claim. He grimaces at the notion of months off field.

Hood leans back onto his heels, fortunately giving the younger teen some space. It doesn't seem intentional, but it's better.

"You've been Robin for two years now?"

When Tim initially refuses to acknowledge the question, Hood raises the knife. Robin sighs and gives a nod.

The man hums and brings the hilt of the knife to his chin. The weird thinking pose blares an alarm in Tim's brain, but he can't quite piece together where he's seen it before.

"About eight months ago, the clown disappeared."

Phantom feelings of electricity run through Tim's body. His muscles twitch under the memory.

Red Hood leans closer. "Where is he?"

Tim can hear -

"You know better than that, Junior. Where's the smile for your old man?"

A desperate giggle bubbles up Tim's throat.

"Come on, son. You wouldn't want to make your mother sad, would you?"

Joker leans over Tim Junior with a wicked grin. He grips a blade and gestures to Junior's lips. "Do you want your dear old Dad to teach you to smile? Again?"

Junior shakes his head frantically as trembling lips split open in a facsimile of a smile. The motion pulls at his stitches scars.

Scars?

That's not-

Junior's smile starts to fall.

Red Hood Joker crosses his arms. "What the fuck are you smiling at?"

Junior still has a smile on his face (it can't drop), but his eyebrows furrow. "Dad?"

Joker flinches back.

Amethyst cloth flickers to bronze leather and then back again. Forest green hair morphs into a cherry red helmet. Junior watches it peer behind its shoulder before Joker's face turns back to him.

"Batman isn't here."

A cackle erupts from Junior's lips and dissolves into a fit of giggles. Joker peers at Tim Junior in confused horror. The kid turns his head more towards the man. A smile stretches and pulls the corner of his lips, highlighting the faint scars.

Junior Tim hears the man take a startled breath in.

"Batsy isn't Dad. Dad-"

Tim frowns as his gaze drifts away from the man. "I killed Dad. He's dead."

He pouts exaggeratedly before Junior dissolves into a fit of giggles. "Bam!" Both of his hands point an imaginary gun Red Hood's Joker's way. "Bam! Bam!" The hands recoil back as if actually shooting the man.

Tears start to stream down Junior's Tim's face. He fights to bring his lips away from a grin.

"Fuck." He's still grining. "Fuck!"

Red Hood, the cause of all of this, is just staring at Tim. He's observing the teen try to bring himself back to sanity inch by stupid fucking inch.

Tim's eyes dart around the room. He takes a deep breath in and, on the exhale, list something he sees. "Chair. Blender. Staff. Kni-"

Several more deep breaths in and out as he ignores all the knives in the room. "Light. Jacket. Cape. Couch. Lemon. Counter."

His hands paw at his utility breath as he keeps breathing. He grasps one of the sour candies and works on opening the wrapper. He pops it into his mouth and continues the breath exercise.

Red Hood is silent as he watches Robin pull himself back into reality.

It takes several more minutes before Robin's breaths return to normal. He lays there looking at the ceiling absolutely drained and done with this whole situation.

Finally, Tim turns his gaze to the crime lord.

"Can you just kill me already or get the fuck out?"

Red Hood responds by pulling off his helmet.

Tim blinks. Sighs. Then starts up his grounding techniques again.

5 months ago
#IsBruceWayneBatman: a Social Media Au | Part I
#IsBruceWayneBatman: a Social Media Au | Part I
#IsBruceWayneBatman: a Social Media Au | Part I
#IsBruceWayneBatman: a Social Media Au | Part I
#IsBruceWayneBatman: a Social Media Au | Part I

#IsBruceWayneBatman: a social media au | Part I

4 months ago
Okay So I’m Actually Insane About Lycanwing Hiccup. I Imagine He Gets Distracted By Shiny Objects And

Okay so I’m actually insane about lycanwing Hiccup. I imagine he gets distracted by shiny objects and then gets embarrassed when people point it out

4 months ago

At Wayne mannor

Alfred: Morning everyone I have an announcement.

Bruce: Everything alright Alfred?

Alfred: Yes, I have invited the Kents to dinner in two days time.

Bruce: What...

Alfred: I expect everyone to be on their best behavior.

Tim: When you say the Kents who do you mean?

Alfred: All of them, Jonathan, Martha, Clark, Lois, Kon, Jon, Kara, Otho, and Osul.

Cassandra: How many people will be in attendance.

Alfred: 24 people in total. For our part everyone WILL attend, no excuses. That means myself, Bruce, Dick, Jason, Danny, Tim, Duke, Stephane, Barbara, Harper, Cassandra, Luke, Kate, and Damian.

Jason: This is going to be fun.

Damian: I bet $20 the house burns down by the end of the night.

Danny: I'll take you up on that.

Meanwhile at the Kent farm

Martha: Morning everyone, last night I was talking with Alfred and we've been invited to dinner at the Waynes in two days. We will all be going, no buts.

Jonathan: We expect everyone to behave.

Kon: At least one person will end up in the hospital.

Kara: I think it'll be fun.

Clark: It'll be fun to see Bruce, it's been a while since we've seen each other as civilians.

Martha: Good, now let's enjoy breakfast, there are chores to be done, and they're not going to do themselves.

Part: 13, (all parts)

4 months ago
Local Psychology Major Takes One Look At Loser Viking From 1300 Years Ago And Clocks Him Instantly
Local Psychology Major Takes One Look At Loser Viking From 1300 Years Ago And Clocks Him Instantly
Local Psychology Major Takes One Look At Loser Viking From 1300 Years Ago And Clocks Him Instantly

Local psychology major takes one look at loser Viking from 1300 years ago and clocks him instantly

(Inspired by this post of @itsybitsybatsyspider ‘s, ty for letting me yoink it, bestie <3)

( anyways you should totally go read Of Ghost Tales and Dragon Scales on ao3)

4 months ago

Why.... why can I see this happening?

Fake it till you make it, Star City Kitchen edition.

Danny, outed to the government as a ghostly entity, is not only wanted by the government but unable to find work because of that.

Sam gave him money to help him escape, but an unfortunate run in with more than one gang of meta traffickers blew through that in an instant.

He needs a job. He needs to find a place to sleep.

He decides to answer an ad in a newspaper, for a personal chef for an unnamed person. Is it sketchy? Yes. Is it very likely to be under the table with no government checks? Also yes.

Besides, if it turns out to be someone bad, he can just go invisible and disappear for a bit. It'll be...unfortunate, cuz he'll have to steal what he needs, but it's doable.

He arrives at the meeting place, and there's a car waiting to pick him up.

Okay.

He gets in the car. Secondary location, here he comes.

It drives to a mansion.

Oh no.

It's Oliver Queen.

Oliver Queen put up that ad.

Oliver Queen takes one look at him, hums, and says that Danny is absolutely what he was looking for. That Danny just looks like how a chef should look.

Five minutes later, Danny finds himself in a kitchen larger than his old house, internally panicking and scrolling as fast as he can through cooking lessons on youtube.

Turns out, Danny's got a knack for cooking.

Like, he's actually pretty phenomenal at it.

If the food isn't trying to come back to life and eat him, once he's got the basics down, it's pretty easy to throw together a meal.

~~~~~~

Oliver, sleep deprived and injured, meant to ask Stan to make him something to eat.

Somehow he failed step one of just texting the man, and ended up reaching out to and placing an ad in a local newspaper for a personal chef.

Naturally, when someone answers it, he decides to get them over to his place so he can apologize for his stupidity and pay them the money they lost wasting time going to him.

Except that's a kid.

A dirty, unkempt, homeless teenager.

And...fuck.

Look, Oliver isn't a complete and total jackass, and it's not like the kid can mess up much if he's in the kitchen, of all places.

So he pretends like the ad is legit. Throws the kid in the kitchen.

Accidentally finds out that the kid wasn't fucking lying about being a good chef that was out of practice, holy shit? This food is so good????

Looks into the kid's background, quietly.

...

And in true Green Arrow fashion, uncovers a government conspiracy.

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