Batman (1940) #624

Thanks for the tag, @yesalwayswelles

Tagging: @movieexpert1978 @wingsy-keeper-of-songs @blackthornprime @phantomdragoness @djsavetheworld @hauntedluminarybbq @whereserpentswalk @sunnyxjarrus @helkrokodillenz @spinelfan11 @royal-tea-blogs @guardianspirits13

This was pretty fun ╰(˵ヘωヘ✿)╯

I kinda really want a de-aged au where Jason “No More Dead Robins” Todd has to deal with all his brothers when they were first joining the Bat/Wayne family and has to try (and consistently fail) to keep them from becoming Robin. 

Like there’s some random magic user who casts a spell for [hand wave plot necessitated reason here] and Jason is just chillin doing his Red Hood thing, but when the spell starts to take affect, Bruce is off world on some League mission so Jason ends up having to handle it all on his own.

First to show up is Dick. Or rather, tiny, grieving, baby Dick. Jason’s first surprise is that baby!Dick isn’t the cheerful, happy, carefree kid Jason always assumed he had to be. No, tiny Dick is angry. He’s bitter and snappish and hell bent on finding—and killing—his parents’ murderer. At first Jason is selfishly pleased to find out Golden Boy wasn’t quite so golden after all and encourages getting vengeance, take that, Bruce! This only lasts like a day, though, because Jason realizes, feelings about the One Rule and his personal moral code aside, encouraging a nine year old to kill is seriously messed up. 

So Jason’s next step his to take Dick back to his second favorite safe house and tell him to stay put while he tracks down whatever/whoever did this to Nightwing and fix it. 

This plan hits a snag because guess what tiny, nine year old Dick does not do? Tiny Dick does not believe Jason when he says he’s his brother from the future. Tiny Dick doesn’t care if he is in the future. He’s still going to find his parents’ killer and end him. Some guy with a weird helmet isn’t going to stop him. Jason discovers this when he runs across tiny Dick leaping between buildings in Crime Alley while on patrol.

Jason drags him back to the safe house and locks all the doors and windows. He runs across tiny Dick again three blocks later. He returns Dick to the safe house. Dick is out again in less than an hour. How is this possible?! Jason is Bat and League trained, he knows how to secure a location, how can he not contain ONE (1) small circus child?!?!!

And yet. Dick keeps escaping. He has tentatively accepted that he isn’t in his time and his parents’ murderer isn’t around at this time for him to confront. But this has only led him to the conclusion that he needs to help Jason fix this so he can go back to him own time and get his revenge. No, Jason cannot stop him.

(Really. Jason can not stop him. Jason is starting to wonder if the creation of Robin was much less Batman taking on a child solider as his partner and much more a desperate attempt to keep eyes on an insane child escape artist.)

Then baby Tim shows up.

Keep reading

Imagine for me please Gothamites mocking Batman because sure he’s their ‘savior’ and all, but he’s also one of them and it’s been a few years since he’s become Batman so he’s well known and just- Batman: *growling* go home! Teenager:… gO hOmE~ like what are you? My dad? Batman:… Teenager:… I’m kidding please don’t adopt me - Batman: I am vengeance. I am the night. I am Batman.  Gothamite: ~I aM vEngeAnCE~ like do you practice that in the mirror? Batman:…  - Batman: don’t sell drugs to students Drug dealer: doN’T sElL dRuGs tO stUdeNtS- please as if you didn’t need drugs to live in college  Batman:… Batman:… just… not too much Drug dealer: *scoffs* of course not dude I don’t want them overdosing we need more smart people who don’t want to kill everyone- plus if they die I lose a customer Batman:… good to know

Teenager: *walking home from school, drops books* Batman: *watching from a nearby roof* damn that sucks Teenager:... Batman: Teenager: *grumbles as they bend down to grab stuff* Batman: stay in school! Teenager: *flips him off* ~ Visitor from Metropolis: ugh omggg this city is soooo grosss! its because none of you have superman! all you have is that wannabe furry Batman! Gothamite:... *looks up and spots Batman* yeah you right Batman: fuck you! Gothamite: *grins and flips him off* Batman: *leaves* Gothamite: *beats the shit out of the Metropolian for saying something as blasphemous as that* ~ Gotham citizen: ugh i got my hair all done and no one notice- Batman: *from above* ohhh emmm GGGGG that sucksssss Citizen:.... Batman: :) Gothamite:.. no one asked you you furry black hotpocket Batman: :( ~

switcheroo part 2 electric boogaloo (soundwave edition)

for those of you who were wondering, yes soundwave is still the most loyal hes just a flamboyant conniving megalomaniac, and yes starscream is still traitorous hes just calculating and methodical and very very patient

part 3

#IsBruceWayneBatman: a social media au | Part I

Thank you for answering my question, Chancellor. I do agree that it takes alot of precision to work with adventurers, I myself rarely work with my fellow adventurers outside of delving into particularly dangerous tasks that I can't handle alone. The dragons roaming Elsweyr in particular come to mind. I would like to ask what adventurers you prefer to work with. Personally I have no preference, any skill in combat is useful when fighting the dangerous beasts roaming Tamriels wilds. But I wish to know your preference.

Hello Chancellor, I would like to ask what you think of the many adventurers you have encountered over your life, I know I personally have encountered many and worked with more then a few of them.

Adventurers are in their nature like spells.

A couple of years back I've spent several weeks in the Reach, partially for research, partially as a vacation from the Tower politics, partially to clean up something for Moricar. Not the point.

The point is that my (mostly local) companions and I had to get into a set of dwemer ruins preferably undetected, but in the valley in front of us two entire clans decided to have a fight. And that dragged on, as they were on par with each other and wanted to wait until their opponent's defense lapses.

It was summer, so the weather was not on our side - bright, clear air, not anything favoring stealth. So I've decided to help the situation a little and conjure a mist in the entire valley. Now, I am a Battlemage, so things like weather magic I've gained mostly by self-study rather than being actually trained in it. Thus measly mist required my absolute concentration.

It all was fine until I sneezed and then a tornado tore its way through the valley, leaving fleeing panicked Reachmen in its wake. Granted, I am Abnur Tharn, I just put on my best "I meant to do that" face and we went along our way, now that it was free of obstacles.

But the moral of this story is that working with adventurers is like weaving spells. It requires utmost precision. And strong liver.

Flash: what the hell happened with no metas in gotham?

Batman: Signal is a special case, I trust him solely as one of gotham’s vigilantes-

Flash: What? No. I’m talking about the blue one. I saw him lift like, 1000 pounds the other day.

Batman: … it was that or therapy

Texts From Superheroes

Facebook | Threads | Patreon | Instagram

Imagine:

The JJ incident happens after Bruce disappears into the time stream, and before Tim gets kicked from Robin. Due to dick being spread so thin and Tim(Headcannon) Being antisocial and disappearing for days on end due to being used to solitude, this sudden disappearance goes overlooked until the joker starts jeering at batman any time he sees him, making jokes about how his new son is better now that that Robin mentality has been removed. Dick panics, searches high and low through Tim's normal hiding spots and finds nothing. Instead of Harley having taken Tim in this au I like the idea that she had left the joker when Tim first became Robin though the joker kidnaps her and manipulated/brainwashes her while he's ruining Tim too. Tim kills the joker like usual but he also throws Harley into a rehab center, before dick can talk to Tim he runs off to find Bruce.

Ooooooooh!

The best part about this is that Tim chucks Harley into a rehab center before diping. He's all like, "Damn. That was traumatic. You'll definitely need some help with that. Not me, though."

He can't even glance at himself in the mirror now, but he's fine. He's gotta go pick up Bruce from the timestream daycare.

There is one plot hole, though. Does Joker taunt Dick, Tim kills Joker, Tim leaves, and then Dick searches for Tim?

That'd be hella interesting.

Also, since JJ is so fresh, what if Ra's dunked Tim in the slime juice? Would Tim's mind just shatter?

Poor Tim. He's grieving the loss of 1.7 dads (Bruce isn't actually dead, and Joker isn't technically his dad either), maybe was told he's losing it by Dick before Joker forces him to actually lose it, and has the guilt/relief of killing Joker on his hands.

I would be interested in seeing Tim trying to cope with JJ as he travels. He sees JJ transposed over his image in reflections out of the corner of his eye. He hears the sound of electricity when he tries to sleep. Laughter echoes in museums and the cave. No matter what disguise he wears, it's difficult to stop smiling. The smell of face paint and bleach is ever present.

Anyways, I'd so be down to read a fic about JJ: Red Robim edition.

What the Justice Leaguers Do On Their Days Off… I kept cackling at J’onn! 🤣