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Nyssa: The sister that makes Talia seem sane

Nyssa (an hour into her ranting): Cats and dogs will live together, babies will cry, towers will fall!

Talia: Nyssa.

Nyssa: The humans will consume each other, and the world bleeds—

Talia (sighing, annoyed): Nyssa.

Nyssa: Yes, it bleeds off the edge of this flat earth—

Talia: NYSSA!

Nyssa (irritated): Whaaat?

Talia: I’m not letting you babysit Damian, and not a damn thing you say will cause the apocalypse if I don’t!

Bruce (defending Talia): And the world isn’t flat. I can’t believe I’m on Talia’s side right now.

Talia: I’m surprised, too. Nyssa, stop talking about nonsense theories and leave!

Nyssa: Fools! Only fools believe the world is round. It’s flat! Hidden by a dome force field!

Talia (pointing to the door): Get out.

Nyssa (continuing): The snow giants keep it guarded!

Talia: Get your ass out before you poison my child's mind!

Talia grabbed her ranting sister by the hair and dragged her out of the room.

Nyssa (whining): Hemar, you never let me talk!

As the bickering sisters left, Bruce turned to Ra's, who silently sipped tea while observing the entire exchange. Damian sat nearby, busy coloring a picture he had just drawn, paying his crazy aunt no mind.

Bruce: Huh, Talia is—

Ra's: The saner of the two, yes. I cannot fathom where Nyssa got that level of insanity from.

Ra's suddenly broke into a wheezing fit that lasted ten seconds, a lingering side effect of the Lazarus Pit. Bruce instinctively pulled his son closer, ensuring he was protected.

Bruce (sarcastically): It’s a mystery, I’ll tell you that much.

*hemar is arabic for donkey*

Look, normally I wouldn't dare touch smth other then Greatsword, but Anjanath has no right being such a bastard or having that kinda attitude for being an Act 1 monster so I'll make an exception

Normally I would say Batman cuz the minute he figures out someone's weakness and comes up with a counter it's over, but I don't think Carol HAS a weakness and she's also a living nuclear bomb soooo

Batman VS Everyone

If Batman gets prep time, so does everyone else

Joker would 100% do it for the vine

if jason todd were to start going round with a petition to make batman kill the joker i think he would have all of gotham on board within three days, and i also believe theres a 99% chance the joker would sign this petition himself, just to see how batman responds

jason: technically this isn't murder it's assisted suicide

bruce: what the fuck is happening right now why are you two together

jason: morbid curiosity

joker: just wanted to see what you'd do

Bruce: who are you? A new crime lord?

Jason: *takes off his helmet*

Bruce: *squints suspiciously* a new crime lord who looks like a grown up version of my dead son?

Jason: *sighs in annoyance and forces a bright smile*

Bruce: JASON THE NEW CRIME LORD???

“After saving his Tribe from a bloodthirsty dragon, Viking teenager Hiccup Haddock suddenly develops a reputation that transforms him into the archipelago’s Dragon Whisperer. As he battles other enemies, he soon realizes that there are many others who share his special, high-flying talents. Hiccup must now use his newfound role to battle the evil Viggo, a madman who can open portals to other universes and pull different versions of Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III into our world.”

Yes I created a Dragonverse au. No I’m not sorry.

Wanna add your own AU to the Dragonverse? Tag me in you’re posts if you make any. I will cry.

Batman being aggressively secretive towards the Justice League is one of my favorite tropes, but it gets INFINITELY funnier when you take the younger generations of heroes into consideration.

Barry Allen? He doesn't know shit about Batman, still partially convinced he's not human, still a little bit scared to talk to him. But Wally West? That's Nightwing's best friend. He's been around Dick since both of them were kids. He's had sleepovers at the manor since he was thirteen.

I just think it would be hilarious if all of the younger generations 100% know that Batman is Bruce Wayne. They've slept at the manor, some of them have taken various Batkids to school dances, they've been offered Alfred's cooking. And all because they've gotten close to at least one Batkid and said Batkid wore Bruce down until he let them reveal their identity. But all of them manage to keep this information from their mentors. Either purposefully or completely on accident.

Then you end up with a situation where the younger generations grow up and join the League and the older members Very Quickly realize that they seem a lot more comfortable with Batman than they should be.

FIRST POST EVER AAAAAA

Merry Chrimah everyone!!

The plight of a father of four boys

Batman (shouting, adopting an angry father voice): Why do you constantly make me angry and embarrass me?!

Nightwing looked at his brothers, who wore equally confused expressions. Batman groaned, his frustration evident, as he knew where this was heading.

Nightwing (waving his hands, exasperated): Batman, which one of us are you talking to?! Is it Red Hood?

Red Robin (pointing at the angry man, eager to deflect): It’s Red Hood, right?

Red Hood (denying, arms crossed): No, I don’t embarrass him. I annoy him! So it’s Red Robin, right? Because nobody likes him.

Robin (joining Red Hood's side, smirking): I agree!

Red Robin (spiteful tone, glaring): Oh, no, I know who it is. It’s the unwanted child, isn’t it?!

Robin (innocent, eyes wide): Why would you say that about Nightwing?

Nightwing (confused and defensive): What?!

Red Robin (pointing, voice escalating): No, I was talking about Robin Jr.! He knows I was!

Robin (shouting, angrily): Robin Jr.! Those are fighting words you knock off Timothée Chalamet!

Without warning, Robin pounced onto Red Robin's back, and they both tumbled to the ground in a flurry of limbs. Meanwhile, Nightwing and Red Hood started arguing, their verbal sparring quickly escalating into a physical altercation. Nightwing skillfully gained the upper hand, wrapping his arm around Red Hood’s neck in a headlock.

Batman sighed, feeling defeated, as he and Jim Gordon watched the bickering brothers. Jim couldn’t hide his amusement, much to Batman’s chagrin, a migraine already forming at his temples.

Jim (smirking): Hm, you know, I often forget you have like four or five kids. Which one were you referring to?

Batman (deadpan, rubbing his temples): All of them… All of them.

Jim (nodding, chuckling): Yeah, that tracks. Let them work it out of their system.

Batman (walking away, shaking his head): I usually do.

Jim (intentionally annoying the man): Hey, be thankful one of them isn’t a serial killer.

Batman (groaning, exasperated): Oh my god, it’s not a contest!

Tim Drake is Argentinian. He’s white so everyone thinks he’s American (+ that white ass name) but one day Jason starts cursing in Spanish and he responds even more violently with that perfect accent.

Janet was born and raised in Buenos Aires and met Jack in Misiones. They hit it off and got married years later. They moved to Gotham and got a son. Young Timothy Jackson Drake. Janet’s family made fun of her for ages for naming her son something so gringo, but they love him nonetheless.

WAIT WHAT IF ALFRED WAS A SOLDIER IN THE WAR FOR THE MALVINAS ???? Timothy learns about this and the rest of the family doesn’t understand why Tim moved from loving Alfred with all his being to side eyeing him the little times they cross paths or simply avoid him.

Tim meets Santiago Vargas “El gaucho” (Argentinian Batman!!! ITS CANON) in a mission with other Batman and quickly leaves Bruce and becomes el gaucho’s Sidekick for the rest of the mission

OMG THE NAME COULD BE “Tero” EL GAUCHO Y EL TERO