It's Actually Funny How Humans Decided "fuck Living In Caves With All These Creepy Crawlies", Got Out

imagine Batman had to take care of the rest of the Justice League members after a magic user turned them into toddlers/ kids

Bruce: *warms Clark's bottle*

Bruce: *sets Diana in a playpen*

Bruce: *burps Hal*

Bruce: *changes Ollie's diaper*

Bruce: *puts Barry on a child leash*

Bruce: *gives Arthur a bath*

Bruce: *puts J'onn in a Martian onesie*

Bruce: *gives Vic a green teddy bear*

Bruce: *sings Dinah a lullaby*

Bruce: *plays peek-a-boo with Zatanna*

Bruce: *holds a baby photoshoot for Carter and Shayera*

Bruce: *downloads Little Einstein for Ray*

Bruce: *puts an iPad in front of Ted*

Bruce: *starts training Billy to be Robin*

[later, back to normal]

Ollie: We're gonna pretend we don't remember all that?

Everyone: Yep.

you know Thomas Wayne was a doctor and Bruce was undoubtedly a curious kid, i bet Thomas talked at least a little bit about first aid because it would be some of the easiest medical trauma care concepts for a kid to learn, and i bet he talked about chest compression and how life saving they are and if more people knew how to do them a lot more people could make it to the hospital to be treated

so what i'm saying is imagine tiny, eight year old Bruce faced with the horrifying choice of which of his parents to save and Jim Gordon finds him doggedly putting all of his weight into (good, accurate, on rhythm, it won't matter) these chest compressions and he has to pull Bruce away, has to turn him away, all the while Bruce is insisting and crying and finally almost screaming that he can help, that if he just does this one thing and doesn't give up no matter how much his arms hurt and how tired or out of breath he is then his parents will be ok

Gordan sees how Bruce is filled with a terrible knowing and an even more terrible hope and it is something he will see again and again in blank white lenses years from now

Local baby bat upset that he cant simple punch his way out of every situation ends up making some new friends

I just wanted to draw baby Diana and baby Clark so heres baby Bruce from that role swap au making some friends by getting beat up (full au guide here)

This is 100% smth Jason would do SPECIFICALLY to fuck with Tim

Jason: *icing cake he baked* Tim: oh, cool. Can I take a picture? That’s really pretty. Jason: uh, sure? Why? Tim: to post it on insta. Jason: *stops icing cake* what’s insta? Tim: Tim: *look of slowly dawning horror* you died. Oh my god you died— Jason: *muttering* I thought we already acknowledged that. You know, quite explosively acknowledged it Tim: *completely speaking over him* DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT A SNAPCHAT IS? FUCK— Jason: dude you’re hyperventilating

Now this is my first time drawing Soundwave! My favorite solo mech :D

I just finished reading this story and I loved every second of it

It has been almost a year since I started procrastinating writing the last chapter for this fic so uh. Have a sketch of the boys ig.

Gotham based goons definitely blame all their mishaps on the Bats.

Lost a shipment? "Yeah boss, Red Robin came outta nowhere, confiscated all of it."

Someone's cigarette caused a warehouse fire? "Batgirl dropped by and torched the joint."

Fell asleep while on guard duty? "Batman punched the daylights out of me."

Accidentally went to the wrong location and the buyer got arrested? "Bats were chasing the car boss, I figured I'd prioritize the product."

Killed a partner in crime? "Red Hood got him, sorry."

Don’t get me wrong I love the Tim drake tells his family about his trauma with out thinking to hard about it and them freaking out that’s great I love that hilarious BUT have you considered the hilarity of Tim Deliberately Hiding it from his family and the shenanigans he has to pull to keep them from finding out?

Que Tim drake trying to drink his coffee before Bruce comes to pick him up for lunch when suddenly one of Ra’s assassins come from the shadows to try to kidnap him and while Tim is trying to fight him he hears the alert that Bruce’s car pulled up his eyes widen as he shoves the assassin into the closet before Bruce can see and telling him to shut the fuck up for both of their sakes the assassin is so confused he just goes along with it

When Bruce comes in and see’s Tim’s ruffled shirt A broken vase in the hall and someone very clearly in the closet he chooses to ignore it because he REALLY does not want to know about his sons sex life

Red Robin gets stabbed mid patrol and has to pretend he’s worried about blood loss but actually he is annoyed because it was a rusty pipe so he KNOWS it’s gonna get infected and he does not wanna deal with that but can’t say that because then his family will know he doesn’t have a spleen

When a new supervillain comes around and starts cloning people Tim is the one who has the most information on how to catch him because of when he tried to clone Kon but only he and dick know this dick was obviously gonna bring this up so Tim could help on the case but it was also like 2:30 and he hadn’t slept in days so he decided to take a nap first only to be woken up by a shadow holding a hand over his mouth he nearly broke Tim’s jaw because of how bad he scared him and when dick asked him what the hell he was thinking Tim said to keep what happened with Kon to himself or else… the case was solved two days afterwards and dick kept his mouth shut but he had a new found fear for his little brother whom he loved (and feared) so much

There are many more fun instances that I am not creative enough to come up with so PLEASE feel free to add on

-

-

-

First <- Part 5 <- Part 6 -> Part 7

Masterpost

A Robin’s most important weapon is the ability to cry on command -

the second most important weapon is to sic dad on whatever villain made his precious child cry 😢