James: Mom Can You Stop Picking Me Up From Hogwarts?

Dorcas: Is something burning? 

Marlene, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you. 

Dorcas: Marlene, the toaster is literally on fire.

Sirius , running: Slow down, James, I can’t ketchup!

James, not slowing down: You’ll just have to use all the strength you can mustard.

Harry: Which is correct, seven and five IS thirteen, or seven and five ARE thirteen? 

Remus: Neither. 

Remus: Because it's twelve dumbass child

Sirius: rEMUS WE TALKED ABOUT THIS

Lily: Hey, what’s up? 

Dorcas: The sky. 

Lily: No, I meant like, what are you doing? 

Dorcas: Oh. Marlene. 

Marlene: *highfiving Dorcas* Nice!

I wish real people had subtitles bc I seriously can’t focus on what people are saying half of the time

Dorcas Meadows!

First time posting fanart, hope u guys like it

Remus: So what’s for dinner? 

Sirius: I can’t tell you, it’s a soup-prise! 

Remus: … 

Remus: Is it soup? 

Sirius: I soup-pose it could be! *winks* 

Remus: Please, enough with the soup puns! 

Sirius: Wow, you’re soup-per mean. 

Remus: STOP! 

*one hour later* 

Remus: It’s fucking tacos?!?!?!

Evan: How would you hide a body-

Dorcas: Hypothetically-

Pandora: You aren’t fooling anyone-

Barty: ANYways, how would you do it?

James: 

James: You see, in quidditch, the snitch-

Barty: Nope. 

Dorcas: MarLENE!

I need more scenes of Sirius coming out to Effie and Effie being so chill about it. Please, they heal my fragile gay heart.

save me fictional lesbians save me (they in fact won't save me) (they will probably make things worse) (they wil literally break my heart forever and leave me pick up the pieces for the rest of my life)