I Go To The Grocery Store, Heading Straight For The Dairy Section. Positioning Myself In The Middle Of

I go to the grocery store, heading straight for the dairy section. Positioning myself in the middle of the milk shelf, I let out one single long, wailing, cheese-curdling scream. Every single carton of fresh dairy product within hearing distance has now been rendered undrinkable. The poor worker whose only task this shift was to keep me out of the store and most importantly away from the dairy at all costs is fired on the spot. I do not linger to bear witness to the grief and destruction I have caused. Knowing that I caused it is enough.

These petty, pointless acts of meaningless evil are the reason that I will not see the kingdom of heaven.

More Posts from Duracel-battery and Others

11 months ago

everyone who makes high republic fan content, i love you so so so much, it is with your content i am sobbing into when yet another one of my favorite character's die.


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3 years ago

my friends and i were talking about what element benders we would be in atla and i almost joked 'lol just take a quiz like the rest of us' but then i realized the quiz would be like

which do you like most:

- swimming

- a cool breeze on my face

- the snap and crackle of a campfire

- shoveling dirt into my mouth


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1 month ago

hmmmm yeah so there's two of us now. are currently taking online quizzes to see if we get the same results. apparently if we were candle scents we would be eucalyptus tea.

fuuuck. just got cleaved in twain by a massive fan and BOTH detached parts of my body seem to be healing. fuuuck. is this asexual reproduction????


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4 months ago

πŸ•Ίβž‘οΈπŸŽοΈπŸ’¨ πŸ”œ 🦎 πŸ”œ 🦎 βž• (πŸŒοΈβ€β™€οΈπŸ”œπŸ¦Ž) βž‘οΈπŸš€βž‘οΈπŸͺπŸ”œπŸ¦ŽπŸ¦ŽπŸ₯šπŸ₯šπŸ₯š πŸ”œ πŸš€(πŸ₯šπŸ₯šπŸ₯šπŸ™…‍♂️) βž‘οΈπŸ¦ŽπŸ”œπŸ•ΊπŸŒοΈβ€β™€οΈ


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3 months ago

nvm! all is well! found her last night, tis half full :) all is right in the world once more.

i promise i won't be mad with you, okay? i know one of you took the moon, it's fine, just give it back.


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1 month ago

update on the clone thing: squirrels hate my double but like, they still love me? so we're gonna test this out on other animals we like to see if they can tell that my clone is an unnatural reproduction of me! i anticipate fun times :)


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5 months ago

Malcolm nodding β€˜as you were’ to a random crew member right before Hayes jumps onto his back from offscreen is fucking hysterical

5 months ago

look look i don't usually pick up on sexual tension but like what tge fuck is goin on between major hayes and malcolm reed


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duracel-battery - world's tiniest battery
world's tiniest battery

they/them, aroace, adhd, professional little guy

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