I thought things were going okay but I guess not. My friend just told me she feels guilty for talking to me ever since the whole incident happened last week and also my friend right now is acting fucking weird and makes me want to split on him really bad. He isn’t laughing or anything and says he’s tired but he’s acting weird and it’s pissing me off. It’d probably be better if I was just at home.
I just hope I stop feeling this way. I dont want to keep ruining my friendships. I don’t even know why she feels guilty. It’s not her fault im this way!!!! Stop being my friend out of fucking pity!!!!! Be my actual friend!!!!! Stop feeling sorry for me!!!!!!
Being a victim isn’t fucking fun and this shit messes with me every single day. I dont want you to feel bad for me. I just want you to talk to me like a normal person. It’s not my fault I am this way. I want you to see me past my flaws that make me act the way I do anyways. Yet you’re just paying extra attention and that fucking hurts. Please just talk to me normally. Stop being weird towards me.
All of this hurts
I want to talk about how bad I’m struggling. I want help. I want to vent to my friends. I want to vent to people closest to me. But I am so scared and I am so guilty and ashamed. I can’t wait to blow my fucking head off
If you aren’t mad at me then why the fuck are you ignoring me you dumb piece of shit I fucking hate you I fucking hate you so much if you aren’t mad and worried why aren’t you taking me seriously why the fuck won’t you just speak up like a real fucking man instead of being a fucking pussy you fucking idiot
I’m so repulsive to Everyone I know everyone would just love Me better if I had a cock nobody loves me for who I am they all want me to be someone I’m not and I can’t fucking change that I can take hormones and everything but it still won’t change the fact I won’t have a dick I wish I could fucking Die I am so unlovable and ugly to everyone I hate my self I hate myself so fucking much I wish I was a man I wish I was a fucking man I hate this so fucking much I hate my fucking body I hate my genitals I hate myself I hate myself I wish that I Could just be a fucking man
It’s gotten sk bad I can’t even cry for help from tumblr anons oh my god I can’t take this anymore
Everything I love is being taken away from me and revealing itself to all be a false sense of security I don’t think I need to be here anymore
I can’t do this anymore I can’t fucking do it anymore
I will be rid of the world. I will be erased, eradicates, removed, and forgotten about. Everything I’ve done would’ve been for nothing, but I think it is suitable karma for wasting other people’s times and dragging them along by the ankles through Hell. My creations will be destroyed, my legacy will not be enough to be withheld, and everyone can rest in peace knowing they don’t have to deal with it anymore. They can be at peace with themselves without having to adapt to my rapid mood swings and empty threats. Not anymore. It will be what I deserve
I need friends I need help I just need somebody I am drowning
I don’t have anybody i. don’t have anyone I am freaking out I just want to be left alone
TW FOR EXTREMELY HEAVY VENTING I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. PERSONAL VENT AND INTRUSIVE THOUGHT DIARY
156 posts