THATMOMENT WHEN YOU ARE THE ENTIRE REASON YOUR BEST FRIEND IS NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND ANTMORE AND YOU FINALLY

I’m an embarrassment to fucking everyone

I hate talking about it. I hate hearing people talk to me. I hate being known. I hate being “out there”. I hate everyone who says they prioritize me then they lie to me. I just wish that I was stable. I wish things were right. I’m so fucking unhappy and I thought I was doing better but I’m just not.

I feel so weird talking to anyone right now. I don’t like it and I don’t want to talk to anybody I want to be left alone forever. I just wish I was dead. It feels like the good times truly could never make up for the misery the rest of my life has to give me. I fucking hate everything. I hate thinking about what comes after. I hate thinking about the death process. I hate it all. I just want it over. I want to escape and just never be known and be alone forever.

I don’t want anyone to have anything to do with me. I feel so depressed and I try not to let these emotions get to me but Jesus Christ it’s so hard not to. My friends all discard me and I get talked over and it’s so tiring.

I just wish I was loved. I wish that I knew I was loved and cared about and praised and adored and whatever the fuck. I wish I didn’t need anyone else’s approval. I’m so fucking over it.

I relapsed and it didn’t fucking do anything of course I’m so tired I want to drill the blade into my disgusting body and just die and bleed out I fucking hate myself and my life I want to die

It fucking hurts so bad why do I have to suffer with this shit you did to me why the fuck do I always have to be affected by the fucking shit you do what did I do to deserve this bullshit I fucking can’t stand it what the fuck did I do what the fuck did I do

I thought things were okay what’s going on why is this happening

I genuinely need to die

I wish you would come back to me please come back to me

I’m a failure and an embarrassment

I want to relapse over and over and over again I don’t know why I don’t I just want to fucking die

I don’t feel as hurt as I would’ve back then. I’m still just upset thinking about you too hard though. I hate this shit so much. I just want you to hurt. I dont Even Need you to miss me, I just want you to hurt and realize what you did was wrong. I can’t even understand how you couldn’t see what you did to me was wrong

It genuinely hurts to live