“learning Is Never Done Without Error, And Defeat,"

46/100 days of productivity!

To-do: 19.1.25

Read _1P

Textbook session _1P

Class recap_2P

Matlab _1P

Take a walk

Meet up with friend

Journal_mental health check

Yoga b4 bed

55/100 days of productivity!

so, my chronic pain is back after a short break... which means I literally can't do the things I need to do... anyway let's get a good day in...

I accept myself exactly as I am in this moment. My worth is not determined by my productivity or my pain. I am enough, just as I am. Every small step I take today is a victory. Progress is progress, no matter how small. I am doing my best, and that is always enough.

to-do: 1.2.25

Morning yoga

mental health check _journal

Go to the mall

Writing session 1

Reading 2P _opt

Pain makes it hard to work effectively Falling behind creates anxiety Anxiety increases muscle tension Increased tension worsens pain Worse pain makes work even harder More falling behind... and the cycle continues And each loop of this cycle can make you feel more stuck and hopeless, which adds another layer of stress. It's not just in your head - this is a very real physiological and psychological pattern.

I cannot stress the importance of paying attention in language classes in high school. Maybe the reason why your English teacher taught you about unreliable narrators is because a lot of the media around you is written by unreliable narrators posing as reliable. Maybe they gave you assignments on interpreting texts so you could draw your own conclusions about news articles. Some of you clearly thought English classes were useless in high school and now are unable to engage critically with media.

academia moodboard

final days of the year… ❄️ excited for a fresh start but also feeling the pressure of beginning new habits

i have a theory that trying to start new habits all at once is just going to lead to crashing and burning. so, only 1 new habit for the new year: journaling everyday.

it’s going to help me keep track of what i want to accomplish and my overarching goals of wanting to be stronger, healthier, and focused. i’ll try to build up better habits gradually, so that they last for longer than a week, especially when school is getting tougher.

Why I hate the pomodoro method.

You’ve probably seen someone suggest the Pomodoro method before— you do short sprints (typically 25 mins) followed up by a quick break (typically 5 mins).

I don’t like it, and I will never go back to using it. Don’t get me wrong, it can work really well! My sibling only gets anything done if they use this method, so there is something good about it. However, I’m going to talk about the downsides and what else to do instead of this method.

1. It focuses on time spent rather than results.

Many tasks are quite flexible in how long we take to complete them. Take walking home for example. When I am in a rush to school, it takes about 20 mins uphill, but my legs cramp really bad. When I’m just listening to my music and vibing, it takes about 30 mins downhill.

It's a similar idea for studying. Apply pressure on your learning and assignments, and they get completed faster. Too much pressure, you get exhausted or can’t think straight. (HINT: Procrastination). Too little pressure, and it takes forever to get anything done.

Different results require different amounts of time and pressure.

Trying to strive for a specific time frame undermines what your true goal is: to get some something done. The repetitive cycle assumes a “one size fits all” but that is rarely ever the case. Saying “I studied for two hours today” means nothing compared to “I wrote my essay, read a research paper, and annotated my notes from yesterday.”

2. It discourages focus and flow.

When I was trying out the method, I kept trying to find the ideal time for work and for breaks. The problem is it's never the same. Some days, you are more mentally exhausted and need longer and more breaks, otherwise you are just going to be miserable.

As it is, the five-minute break isn’t long enough to go on a short walk, take a dedicated snack, or fully disconnect. It’s a waste of time that taunts you with distractions that aren’t conducive to a good work environment.

The opposite is also true. Good days can be rare, so when you get into the zone, there’s no reason to come out of it for anything other than a natural transition. A ticking timer to your productivity doesn’t help, and breaking up that “flow state” isn’t maximizing your time or your efforts.

I also haven’t heard many people mention stamina. If you are in school and taking tests, you realize they are typically around the same length (90 - 120 mins where I am). The pomodoro method contradicts this. For a lot of people, focusing and doing your best on a test for such a long period of time can be difficult.

Oh, but that’s just life.

Maybe a part of it is, but you can take steps to improve your stamina during test taking. Spending upwards of two hours studying or taking practice tests, especially leading up to huge exams, can make the test fly by. Simulating test conditions is also a great way to study or increase pressure, which is what long term study periods achieve. Taking longer study periods also relates back to breaks. With the same amount of break time, you consolidate it into a greater block. You can grab a snack, watch an episode of your favorite show, take a walk outside, or do your hair. All fun stuff you can’t do with pomodoro.

3. It brings technology back into the equation.

If you’re using pomodoro method, most likely, its on your computer or your phone. Which means you have to have a device in reach and visible (for work on paper) or be constantly switching tabs (for work online).

Distractions are a huge part of this modern age, which means that you could inadvertently be teasing your mind with a computer game or social media or whatever you enjoy. Even if you don’t give in, you *are* losing focus.

Forget the clocks, forget the devices, forget the notifications. It’s so much easier to be productive if you have nothing else to do and no distractions to take you away from something that, at the heart of it, you enjoy. Because if you hate studying, why are you still reading this??????

This is really long so I’ll make another post about different study methods next week.

The Large Magellanic Cloud taken by Rory Broesder on Februrary 18 2023

The LMC is a satellite galaxy to the Milky Way, set to collide in 2.4 billion years. It is an easily observable object from the southern hemisphere and is the fourth brightest galaxy in the local group. Within this galaxy is the Tarantula Nebula, a very active star forming region.

It was once a barred spiral galaxy before it was disrupted through tidal interactions with the Milky Way galaxy and Small Magellanic Cloud. In fact, there is a bridge of hot gas showing the connection between the LMC and SMC which is also an active star forming region.

The LMC is one of around sixty other satellite galaxies orbiting the Milky Way.

RANT APPROACHING!!!! continue at your own risk ⚠️

OH MY GOD I CANNOT put into WORDS how UNEXPECTED this is. and your like… what? but an 87 isn’t even that bad???

look, i’ve been writing narrative and fiction since i could speak. i don’t normally ask for feedback, so maybe that’s a point of growth but oh well. i write multiple short stories every month and write a page of narrative in my journal EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

in school, we typically only write literary analysis or argumentative or like DBQ style. but i switched to a writing class this semester and my teacher told us to write a mock common app essay.

YOUD THINK that with ALL the narrative writing i’ve done and ALLL the summer program apps i’ve had to write in the past years, THIS WOULD BE A PIECE OF CAKE.

i will be honest, i did struggle with this a bit, but by the time we got to the peer review stage, my classmates jaws DROPPED and they were like ITS SO GOOD (not to be egotistic but just to give you some context for the level of writing i thought i had)

so IMAGINE MY FACE WHEN I SEE THIS. NO JOKE this is the LOWEST essay grade i’ve gotten in my ENTIRE academic career in the past EIGHT YEARS (i’m in high school btw)

and i loon at my class and im like no way im in the middle of the pack. like what about the kid who wrote about being a capitalist overlord in minecraft? or the basic one that talks about a sports injury??? and these are the people with brain cells. like what about the people that posted themselves buying alcohol for a party while they are underage onto insta??? like cmon no way their essays got perfect grades

and for reference she’s not that harsh a grader. my teacher is the most chill person. she hands out candy and actually got me to participate in class and doesn’t even care if you get your work done.

and so i check my document to see what feedback she left me. no joke the only comments are small grammar mistakes, some flow issues that she pointed out, and suggestions to elaborate. YOURE TELLING ME that the only thing wrong with my essay is that YOU WANTED MORE????? like make it make sense

worse thing is that i was planning to have her write my letter of recommendation, so at least i have an excuse to go talk to her??? but like i don’t want to be one of her B level writers

at one point the only thing i can imagine that was wrong with it was that it could be TOO creative or TOO emotional. so much for wanting to go outside the box and actually improve myself as a writer….

maybe i’m wrong but it feels kind of like an issue just with school in general. like maybe my school especially, since people are just obsessed with grades teachers expect the bare minimum, cookie cutter assignments. they don’t want you to expand on your thinking and it only matters if it’s going to be on test.

whatever. i’ll probably update the situation when i talk to my english teacher. thanks for listening to my minuscule problems 💕

there's always all these trackers and calendars online that are supposed to "increase your productivity" "help you be more efficient" blah blah blah

sometimes you just got to write it down on a piece of paper and take it one step at a time.

i dont know if this is just the monkey brain inside of me but after a couple weeks of trying a new planning or scheduling hack, it just stops working. i feel like it's really difficult to just sit down and get stuff done especially at the times i dictate it.

i just want to go with the flow