Chapter 1 Is Up Bitches.

update

his graduation was a few weeks ago, and i fell into a spiral. crying all the time, the mere thought of getting out of bed made me feel sick. my friend to cheer me up got me to talk to this boy, turns out his sister made all of year 11 completely hell for me. the whole thing was short lived.

my band was performing at his graduation, and i got there early, i was gonna go in and watch his ceremony but i couldn’t, i started crying when i heard his name and ran off. i didn’t go up to him the entire time i was there. didn’t even say goodbye when i left. i couldn’t bring myself to do it. that same morning i sent him a text saying how i hate how we’re on bad terms (told him i was in love with him and i had to stop for the sake of my sanity) but i just wanna say how proud i am. we got to talking and he told me we were never on bad terms. but he wishes that we had more time together as friends then fighting over something that he doesn’t even count as a real relationship. this is the first guy i’ve ever loved we are talking about. he ended up telling me too that i was just a rebound. i puked like i e never done before in my entire life. june is his last month here before he’s off to college, told me he’s never coming back but he’ll miss me. you know what’s the worst part of all of this? i just wanna hug him. don’t care what happens after. i dedicated strangers to him by ethel cain (who i recently got into and she’s all i ever listen to because i connect to her songs in a whole other level as weird as that sounds but i feel so content.) because it just described everything i’m feeling. it goes from me wanting to be his, to worrying if i’ve hurt him or done anything, to me mocking him and asking if he feels guilty for any of it. all he said was. he’s sorry. he’s fucking sorry. sorry won’t fix what he’s done. sorry won’t give me a year of my life back. it won’t give me all the tears i’ve cried back. i wasn’t enough for him to love. i was a fucking rebound. if i throw myself off a building. it would’ve hurt less then hear him call me a rebound. tell me that everything we did (sexual or not) made him feel shameful. i’ve never ever had a guy see me in that way BUT him. AND HE FEELS FUCKING SHAMEFUL? I SHOWED HIM PARTS OF ME I NEVER WANT ANYONE TO SEE OR TOUCH. AND HES FUCKING ASHAMED? HOW IS THIS FAIR? WHY TF IS NTH EVER FUCKING FAIR TO ME. IM NOT FUCKING LOVEABLE. IM JUST THE REBOUND. OR THE GIRL YOU ASK FOR SEX OR SHIT. I AM NOT LOVEABLE.

Holding her back

Eddie Munson x reader warnings: strong language, real angsty, mentions of sexual things, no happy ending. yes, I am an evil fuck.

summary: Eddie feels like he's holding y/n back, and that's where the demise of their relationship starts

authors note: all the young adults are in high school, and so are the party members, Joyce and hopper are together, Billy isn't a pimple on anyone's ass. The upside down never happened. and yes ur dad is Pedro pascal. have fuuun

Eddie had walked into the woods before dnd started since he decided to ditch last period, noticing y/n finishing a sketch, she was sat at their spot, he couldn’t help but admire her for a bit "hey" Eddie said holding his hands as she looked at him, taking in his features before clearing her throat and looking back down at the drawing of Eddie. "you're still here, don't have a deal to tend to?" she mumbled slamming her sketchbook shut as Eddie watched her nodding "I-i wanted to talk to you. I figured I'd find you here" she hummed as she put her sketchbook in her bag and zip it up "ive gotta go, my dad could be here." she said needing to get away from him even though her lie didn’t work with the time "y/n, wait please, ive been holding this off long enough and its hurting the both of us" y/n looked at him as Eddie gazed back into her eyes "quickly" she mumbled turning a bit to face him "i think we should break up..” Eddie said as y/n gulped, her eyes filling with tears as she nodded “done then” she whispered as he voice cracked a bit, taking off the necklace he got her and placing it down on the table as she grabbed her stuff and hurried off to the front of the school, making sure she was far from Eddie so she could release the sobs she’s been holding in. Eddie put his hands in his face as he let his tears fall ‘this is what’s best for her’ he reminded himself. those two years of being together were over. all those memories and moments between the two, gone.

….

the universe seemed to hate y/n as on her walk home while sobbing her eyes out, it had begun to rain, soaking her completely as she hid her sketchbook to save it from the water. it wasn’t long that she got to her house, glad that nothing happened to her books and sketchbook as she opened the door walking in before Nick looked at her confused “kid? what happened?” he said rushing for to his daughter as she gulped, she kept her gaze on the floor, not reacting to her dads touch “we broke up” she whispered as she licked her lips “what?” Nick asked confused, Eddie was over just.a few nights ago and everything seemed fine

“he broke up with me” y/n sobbed as she held onto her stuff tightly, Nick was quick to wrap his arms around her, holding her tightly as he kissed the top of her head “i’m so sorry, i’ve got you baby girl.” he muttered as he tried to calm her down “he just left you to walk in the rain?” “no, he thought you were picking me up so” y/n wiped her eyes smudging the bit of makeup that had remained on her face “i’m gonna go take a shower” she said taking her shoes off as she put her slippers on, rushing to her bathroom as she dropped all her stuff at her desk and walked into the bathroom, undressing and getting into the shower, turning the hot water on as she stood underneath it. did Eddie fall for someone else? did he realise y/n wasn’t good enough for him? did he get bored?

y/n spent an hour of her shower just standing underneath the water and crying, letting the hot water pierce her skin, before she actually began washing her hair and body, saving as well before getting out and doing her skincare, before getting changed into one of Eddie’s shirts and a pair of shorts, moving downstairs as she dried her short hair with a towel “hey kid, you feeling better?” Nick asked as he watched her sit next to him on the couch, looking at the table and all the snacks he put out for them

“i’m not hungry” she whispered, pulling her knees up to sit underneath her chin as she sniffled “kid, you gotta eat, see i got you, pizza and sushi and noodles, and your favorite shrimps, see it’s a full buffet for the two of us” he smiled looking at her and he put some of her hair behind her ear “i’ll eat later, let’s just start the movie” She muttered grabbing the remote as she turned it on. Nick looked at her as worry sat on his face.

….

wayne had returned home to find the trailer quiet, when he took his shoes off and began walking to the bathroom, he’d noticed the dump Eddie’s room had become and when we went in to clean it up, he’d noticed that Eddie was sat on his mattress holding onto a shirt “ed’s, son what is all this mess?” Wayne asked before noticing how bloodshot Eddie’s eyes were “i broke up with her. i’m just holding her back, i hurt her, wayne. you should’ve seen how pained she was, i hurt her” Eddie said his lip pouting as he kept his gaze ahead

wayne sighed as he sat down next to his nephew, rubbing his shoulder as he hugged him tightly “come ‘ere, son” wayne whispered as Eddie hugged him tightly “she hates me now. i messed it all up” Eddie whispered as he held onto wayne tightly, he let the love of his life go. just like that.

—————

authors note: no happy ending for u little shits🤭

REEEEAAAAALLLLLLLLL.

help I love him sm why is he so pretty

Hate myself for loving you!

Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Rockstar! Reader

warning: language and adult themes

enemies to lovers (slow burn)

events of upside never happened.

face claims for Miranda and Mark are Maryl streep and robert di naro

border/lace credit to @benkeibear

the songs mentioned and lyrics are current songs. they ARE NOT MINE. i will be listing the songs in a separate post. but imagine whatever song in a rock/metal sound.

1989!

“absolutely fucking not.” Eddie scoffed as he glared and Mark, Corroded Coffins manager. The rest of the guys stayed absolutely quiet. “and why not Munson? mind you ever since you two started out they’ve always been on top of us no matter what! so what could possibly make you not want to make a song together! you both play the same genre so what the fuck is the problem now Munson?” Mark said as he glared at Eddie. “Problem is they are a fucking disgrace to rock music! simple.” Eddie said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“fuck no!” y/n said as she stared at Stacey in complete disgust, The girls looking over at y/n knowing the exact reason for her outburst. “and why not?” Miranda asked raising her eyebrows at y/n which wasn’t a good sign. “because… we always top their songs on the charts! we’d be doing them a favour if anything.” y/n said as she crossed her hands over her chest. Miranda wasn’t convinced. she knew there was a reason. but she just couldn’t put her finger on it.

“he threw a whole tantrum, said that he refused to sing with a bunch of disgraces to the rock world as he put it” Mark said over the phone as Miranda walked down the halls of their record label, walking back to her office as her assistant followed her. “threatening wouldn’t work….” Miranda mumbled as she moved to sit on her chair, behind her desk “i’m all out of ideas Miranda.” Robert huffed as Miranda rubbed the bridge of her nose “i’ll call you back Mark” Miranda said as she ended the call and stared at the frame on her desk. a picture of all the girls when they won their first grammy.

Eddie walked out the building and rolled his eyes as their cameras began flashing. it was a well known fact all over the world that Eddie munsons biggest enemy was paparazzi. they annoyed him too much. he put his glasses on before walking over to his car, pushing through the large crowd as he made it inside his car and drove off, not giving a fuck who was where. he just wanted to go home and relax. he took a glance at his glove box. knowing exactly what he’d hid in there. when he moved to open it he took a glance back at the street only to press on the break

1986!

Eddie ran through the hallways of hawkins, in his first, was a paper. hes going to graduate. the most important thing right now was to find her and tell her that he’d done it. that he’d passed. he’d gotten to her locker right when she did, he wrapped his arms around her and spun her around before slamming his lips against hers as she let out a fit of giggles. once he put her down he looked at her as he wore the biggest smile she’d ever seen on his face. “what?” y/n giggled as she licked her lips, wiping off her red lipstick from Eddie’s face.

“i’m fucking graduating. i passed!” Eddie smiled as he handed y/n the paper, she grabbed it her smile soon after copying the same one he had on his face. “you did it! i’m so proud of you!” she smiled as she hugged him tightly. Eddie wrapped his arms around her waist again as he felt her arms around his neck. he took in her scent as he kissed the side of her head. “and since i did, i’m taking you out for dinner and then a lovely two course desert back at my place” he teased as he bumped their noses, causing y/n to smile as she gave him a peck “i’m not apposed to the idea” she smiled before watching as Dustin ran over to the two

“watch it ya fucking asshole!” y/n yelled as she had pulled Robin back from getting run over, therefore their coffee landing all over the road. the girls were too caught up in making sure they were ok that they hadn’t noticed who the driver was. Eddie had noticed who he almost ran over, his face fell for a moment before he hit the gas and sped off. y/n glared at the car from the back cursing under her breath “i hate new yorkers.” y/n said as Robin chuckled “if you haven’t realised we are new yorkers” Robin said to which y/n rolled her eyes

“you wanna get another coffee?” Robin asked as y/n shrugged “sure, the asshole ruined mine anyway” she said as she put her hands back into her leather coats jacket as she and robin walked back into the store. Eddie gulped as he’d realised who he almost ran over, he rubbed his chest as he felt it tighten. their time together bringing tears to his eyes. it was all his fault. she hated him and it was his fault. she would never believe him. he missed her. ached for her. Eddie turned the radio on in hopes of it changing his mood. but he was met with her voice booming through the stereo. it was the song that made Glass Army the band that it is today. the song came out right after Corroded coffin released their first single, Vampire. which was dedicated to y/n. “up next! Glass Army’s hit song, I don’t care!” the radio host said as the song started.

Eddie remembers vividly the first time he heard the song. the hurt in y/n’s voice in the recording. which was kept in. it was her response to Vampire and Eddie knew it, because the cover of Vampire was a polaroid of y/n’s hand on Eddie’s guitar. her face didn’t show, it was just her hands around the neck of his guitar. they took the picture after y/n jokingly got long nails with bats on them for their prom. they looked great and that’s why Eddie took the picture, she had slipped on all his rings too. but the cover image to i don’t care was a bunch of polaroids, on fire. one of the polaroids were of Eddie’s old van and their tree carvings. of course, the E in the picture was burnt out but Eddie knew.

1986!

y/n giggled as Eddie inspected each nail “that’s so fucking cool baby” Eddie chuckled as y/n smiled, moving to peck his lips before grabbing his hands and slipping his rings off, if this was in any other instance with someone else, Eddie would’ve caused a scene at his rings being taken, but it was y/n. he’d give her his soul and organs if she asked. y/n laid on Eddie’s bed as she grabbed sweetheart from next to her, placing it on her as she wrapped her hands on its neck in a way to show off her nails, Eddie grabbed his camera and snapped a bunch of pictures.

Wayne smiled as he heard their giggles through the walls. Eddie put the guitar and camera aside before he climbed on top of y/n, his hands on either side of her head, his lips ghosting hers as she stared into his eyes. their lips connected as they moved to the rythme of ‘still loving you’ by the scorpions in the back. “you know i love you?” Eddie muttered against her lips as her lipstick smeared off, she nodded kissing him again as she wrapped her arms around his neck to keep him close “i know ed’s…i know.” she muttered back

she moved on. she likes someone new.

Champanges Coast

Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Model! Reader

warning: language and adult themes

events of upside never happened.

Eddie Munson was a rockstar now. The kind who had stadiums chanting his name, who grinned from magazine covers with rings on every finger and a cigarette hanging from his lips. But some things never changed—he still played his guitar like he was exorcising ghosts, still laughed too loud, still never really believed any of this was real.

Then he met Ethel.

She was the kind of beautiful that felt like an accident, something effortless and wild, like ink bleeding into water. An up-and-coming supermodel, fresh off the Paris runways, with sleepy eyes and a voice like a sigh. They met at some party neither of them wanted to be at—dim lights, neon flickering against velvet walls, the smell of expensive perfume and liquor hanging in the air. Eddie had been lingering by the bar, nursing a whiskey on the rocks, when she walked past him, draped in something silk and barely-there, and smirked like she knew a secret he didn’t.

“Not your scene?” she asked, leaning beside him, her presence electric.

He snorted. “What gave it away?”

She shrugged, taking a sip of her cocktail. “You look like you’d rather be anywhere else.”

“Not anywhere,” he said, and he didn’t know why he said it, but the way she looked at him made him feel like maybe he meant it.

They ended up sneaking out together. Ditching the party for the city streets, where the air was cold and sharp, where they could breathe again. The neon signs buzzed above them, painting their skin in flickers of pink and blue. They walked with no real direction, just the sound of their footsteps on wet pavement and the occasional flicker of a passing car. Eddie told her about the first time he played in front of a crowd, how he was shaking so bad he thought he’d drop his guitar. She told him about the first time she walked a runway, how the lights were so blinding she felt like she was floating.

“Still get nervous?” she asked, her voice soft.

“Every damn time.”

She grinned. “Me too.”

They ended up in some tiny 24-hour diner, sharing a plate of fries, Blondie playing softly on the jukebox. She slipped off her heels, stretching her legs across the cracked vinyl booth, her bare foot nudging against his under the table. He could still smell her perfume, something floral and sweet, and when she laughed, it curled around him like cigarette smoke.

“You’re not what I expected,” she said, tilting her head, watching him like she was trying to figure him out.

“Oh yeah? What’d you expect?”

She smirked. “More… rockstar.”

He scoffed. “Trust me, sweetheart, I’m plenty rockstar.”

“Mm.” She pretended to consider. “I don’t know… I think you might just be a boy with a guitar.”

Eddie leaned in, smirking right back. “Lucky for you, I’m both.”

And maybe it was the late hour, or the cheap diner coffee, or the way her eyes held the city lights in them, but when she reached across the table, lacing her fingers through his, Eddie Munson, rockstar, completely forgot about the rest of the world.

life update

so this month has been shit. my grandpas anniversary came up on the 8th. and the problems i mentioned before with my mom, oh and today. i cried again since Eddie (my ex). Saul broke up with me, i had two panic attacks, one in the middle of my arabic class, and another during english. yesterday i told him how i havent been feeling well and he told me to figure what i want out and text him but till then hes tired and going to sleep (we were doing long distance because he lives in argentina and i live waaaaay far away.) today during my arabic class i texted him and he told me hes breaking up with me, said that he loves me and cares for me but yet he thinks its whats good for us both. he proceeded to continue to tell me he loves me while i begged him not to and i ended up telling him that i will not forgive him for what hes doing and that i hate him for how hes hurting me, i logged out of the account and then in the afternoon during english, i checked and he ended up saying that he couldve up and left me but he didnt because he cares about me and loves me which is why he talked to me about it. and he replied to my other texts saying "sorry bye" and he removed me on snap as well as tiktok because those are the only things he had me on. (i checked snap on my laptop rn and his accounts gone, idk if its the same on my phone). i went to the bathroom while im shaking and like trying to breathe, and i called my best friends but only one picked up because she had a study period. after me and her talked for a bit anout what happened, i suddenly couldnt breathe, just completely couldnt for i dunno how long and then i just started sobbing. then when i was able to calm down, i got to class again and afterwards had a smoke session with the best friend i was talking to's sister. i met up with my best friend who didnt pick up and we walked back to our building, cuz we had class in a diff building. we found some of our close friends in this little garden area we have n sat there because after the smoke session i was gripping the railing in the staircases, as well as my best friends arm because i felt like throwing up and passing out. and at that moment i just started sobbing again and shaking, after a while of my friends attempting to calm me down, my business teacher saw me and i told her i was fine she said obviously im not if im this distraught but if i need her i know where her office is. i had a talk with my old chem teacher because i trust him and cuz my music teacher (was mentioned before) had a lesson. everyone tried to get me to cheer up, one friend just held me (which i needed i love being held), one jumped up and kicked his feet while impersonating mickey mouse, the friend who answered my call sang arabic lulibies for me and then niki manaj, my friend who was at the garden area started singing cupcake songs, my friend who didnt pick up my call just stuck with me the entire day and made sure i drank enough water even tho i didnt eat at all even tho she tried, my other friend checked up on me every five minutes and during our lessons together, a bunch of my other friends tried to cheer me up. but nothing worked and i dont think i can just explain how exhausted and tired and drained i am rn.

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A little death Masterlist.

summary: Rock n Roll was at its peak, and so was Guns n Roses. However, the most popular band had lost their drummer, and what’s a rock band without their drummer? So when a new girl steps in to fill the gap in their band, slash doesn’t take too kindly to her. She’s wild, untamed, free spirited, an addict, and yet, she was free. Everyone loved her. The world loved her. And yet, Slash couldn’t. He hated her. Plain and simple, because it was easier to hate her, than to love her.

warnings: this will contain mentions of drugs, overdoses, sex, drinking and more. if any of those things trigger you, please hope off now :)

part 1 - part 2

OMDDD

my friend asked if we can watch this show called normal people, and i’d read on a blog once that daisy could be a fan cast for Eddie’s mom and i realised Paul looks like Eddie’s dad too. so get ready for them to be his parents whenever i write for Eddie.