Eddie Munson × Reader - Blog Posts

life update

so this month has been shit. my grandpas anniversary came up on the 8th. and the problems i mentioned before with my mom, oh and today. i cried again since Eddie (my ex). Saul broke up with me, i had two panic attacks, one in the middle of my arabic class, and another during english. yesterday i told him how i havent been feeling well and he told me to figure what i want out and text him but till then hes tired and going to sleep (we were doing long distance because he lives in argentina and i live waaaaay far away.) today during my arabic class i texted him and he told me hes breaking up with me, said that he loves me and cares for me but yet he thinks its whats good for us both. he proceeded to continue to tell me he loves me while i begged him not to and i ended up telling him that i will not forgive him for what hes doing and that i hate him for how hes hurting me, i logged out of the account and then in the afternoon during english, i checked and he ended up saying that he couldve up and left me but he didnt because he cares about me and loves me which is why he talked to me about it. and he replied to my other texts saying "sorry bye" and he removed me on snap as well as tiktok because those are the only things he had me on. (i checked snap on my laptop rn and his accounts gone, idk if its the same on my phone). i went to the bathroom while im shaking and like trying to breathe, and i called my best friends but only one picked up because she had a study period. after me and her talked for a bit anout what happened, i suddenly couldnt breathe, just completely couldnt for i dunno how long and then i just started sobbing. then when i was able to calm down, i got to class again and afterwards had a smoke session with the best friend i was talking to's sister. i met up with my best friend who didnt pick up and we walked back to our building, cuz we had class in a diff building. we found some of our close friends in this little garden area we have n sat there because after the smoke session i was gripping the railing in the staircases, as well as my best friends arm because i felt like throwing up and passing out. and at that moment i just started sobbing again and shaking, after a while of my friends attempting to calm me down, my business teacher saw me and i told her i was fine she said obviously im not if im this distraught but if i need her i know where her office is. i had a talk with my old chem teacher because i trust him and cuz my music teacher (was mentioned before) had a lesson. everyone tried to get me to cheer up, one friend just held me (which i needed i love being held), one jumped up and kicked his feet while impersonating mickey mouse, the friend who answered my call sang arabic lulibies for me and then niki manaj, my friend who was at the garden area started singing cupcake songs, my friend who didnt pick up my call just stuck with me the entire day and made sure i drank enough water even tho i didnt eat at all even tho she tried, my other friend checked up on me every five minutes and during our lessons together, a bunch of my other friends tried to cheer me up. but nothing worked and i dont think i can just explain how exhausted and tired and drained i am rn.

currently me and my ex (lets call him Eddie cuz i dunno what else to name him) that i mentioned are friends. but ive recently started dating this great guy (lets call him Saul (he's a big rock fan and adores Slash like me so) yk) anyway, Eddie disappeared for a good week claiming he was busy studying for his IELTs and sleeping during our half term break from school, on a thursday i told him about this guy ive been talking to (Saul). and he asks how old he is and i tell him oh 17-18 and he freaks out saying thats a large age gap (literally not cuz im the same age) so he ends up dipping again once i change the convo and when we get back to school on monday he replies and hes being sort of weird and his texts seem aggressive and i told my friends and my music teacher (my music teachers like my school dad) and they all thought he was jealous because of it and i just felt so angry because i know for a fact i didnt give Eddie my everything, my feelings, myself, my soul, just for the second i even decide to move on and like someone else, he gets jealous, so i decided to wait for him to talk to me, he never did, not even in school he completely avoided me and pretended to not hear me and his excuse was hes been diagnosed with diabeties on top of his already diagnosed but not medicate for, BPD. and then my mom caught me sending my boyfriend, Saul, like semi nudes (like yk swimsuit type pics). and she found out about me and Eddie because she didnt know and so i had my friends log into my instagram account to monitor it for me cuz my mom had access to my phone and all my accounts and my laptop. she ended up ripping all my posters off my door, taking my guitars, pictures that were hung in my room and my record player. shes also before found out about my scars and smashed all my vinyls. so me and her are good now, we're mending our relationship but the only way ive been talking to Eddie is through email and ive been talking to Saul through a secret snap account because she blocked him everywhere and will open my phone sometimes to go through it. basically ive been stripped of everything, saul understood full heartedly when i told him i wont be sending anymore pictures. and it just made me breakdown, because he told me that it didnt matter to him because as long as he gets to talk to me, and hear my voice and see those small snaps i send him everyday then it doesnt matter to him. like he told me he loves me a few days ago. and yet when Eddie said it, he told me he meant it in a 'ur cool' way. like who the fuck does that! anyway todays my grandpas one year, today marks the day my grandpa died and i emotionally shut down. everytime i saw that ive broken down, it just means i freeze up and stop talking, last time i felt something that deep to cry again since my grandpa was when Eddie broke up with me. and its like what the fuck. there is a shit ton i havent mentioned here yet, but theyre very main key points to the eddie story im writing and so i wont mention them rn, but also a little reminder, the titles of the chapters are actually songs you should listen to while reading the chapter

I WANNA DIE

okay so basically little rant about my love life cuz wtf not. recently lifes been a mess i failed my gcses and im doing fast track with english as my only alevel and if i dont impress my teachers they might not take me to level 3 rn to continue on and not have to repeat year 12. i also have to retake my maths exam in nov which im dreading cuz its the same month as my grandpas death day. anyways this ex of mine who i had two fwb situations with during the summer, he was my crush for 4 years by the way. and we broke up the first time because he wanted sex and its against my religon and even if it wasnt i wouldnt do it because of past truama and just the pure fact im not reayd n im not sure i ever will be. he told me he loved me a few hours before we broke up. and so to cope with all of this, you guys are getting the most depressing love story of Eddie Munson based on exactly me and this ex, ur gonna hate eddie after this but i will be leaving out the part where my ex is compulsive liar and has admitted it to me when we became friends and he told me he might be gay but he doesnt wanna be (could be a lie again hes a compuslive liar) he ended our friendship last week and today was the first day id seen him again, the first time i was really crowded and he wasnt as close to me but then when me and my friend left school grounds to go to the nearby gas station he was there with his best friend, and i literally started shaking that my friend got so worried espcially since i havent been doing well cause of this chick i befriended recently and my other friend came later and he got worried too but some of this series will be fictional so it wont end the same time me and my ex stopped being friends, but we stopped being friends cause i still have feelings for him and he told me he thought girls were revolting. so yay, enjoy, tbh im putting my entire mental state into it because if i dont do it i might go insane because my mental health is declining terribly :))

HEAR ME OUT.

i used to write on wattpad for finn wolfhard- n i remembered a plot for a story- that i am going to redo, for Jo Jo or Ed’s- dunno who yet- BUT ITS GOOD YK

a little more context, reader is the daughter of a really important mafia leader, Joseph (who i feel like fits the role more) is also the son of a really important mafia leader who’s the readers fathers nemesis, reader is sent to kill joseph, because that’s what will determine if her father’s empire is left to her. that’s all ima say.