Not To Self-diagnose, But Something Is Definitely Wrong Here.

Too real, too real.

I had my first strawberries these time of year. They were fucking huge and juicy and so, so red and they reminded me of that huge ass banana I had the other day.

Fruit are so fucking good they're like my candy

(I don't even like that packaged junk anymore, but now when I crave it's oats and yoghurt and honey and - thankfully - fruit, which is still super easy to binge on, even if it's healthier)

Theres this one special website which tells your weight in x days if you eat a certain amount of calories... What's it called??

Nothing compares to the deep sadness I feel whenever my monster can is getting empty and I have only one last sip left

edtblr has taught me more about nutrition than my biology class ever could

I love the sun I love sunny stuff this is the most beautiful time of the year and I'm so here for it

Got logged out of my EA account today and I can't remember my passwords (plus the email address I used is inactive now). Guess even my computer thinks I should stop fucking procrastinating and WORK because there's literally nothing fun I can do anymore besides that now that I can't play Sims anymore (cuz it's too late for music and I have an injury that flares up sometimes and it's huuurts right now, so I can't even work out and my friend is not responding even though we wanted to call this evening)

Maybe locking in starts with simply logging my calories on my app, instead of trying to pretend it didn't happen or "it wasn't that bad".

Yes, I binged, yes, I feel like a piece of shit but I can always draw the line.

I may gain weight today, but I can stay determined during the week and make a realistic plan for the weekend and actually stick to it.

I shouldn't deny my mistakes or wallow in self pity, but rather use them as a reminder what I am actually fighting for and what kind of behaviours even made me (partly) start doing this in the first place, and I can learn from my mistakes. Honestly I'm motivated to take on this week, even if I completely fucked up this weekend, or maybe especially because of that.

It's ok to eat if:

You're feeling faint

You need to keep people from worrying

It's a birthday (yours or someone else's)

It's a holiday or tradition

You're feeling down and want to treat yourself

You're offered your favourite food

You're hanging out with friends

You're watching a movie

You're at a funeral or wake

You need the energy for school/work

You're just generally hungry

You won't be any less valid if you eat, and sometimes it's necessary. Don't beat yourself up, you'll be ok <3

feeling fatter than ever any oversized clothes but also being scared to wear anything else, because they're my only "safe outfits"