I Love The Sun I Love Sunny Stuff This Is The Most Beautiful Time Of The Year And I'm So Here For It

My lunch :)

Total: 155

(2x corncakes - 50; 7g Pesto - 23; 84g cottage cheese - 77; 12g frozen berries - 6)

Basically leftovers lol. Tasted okay and at least I'm full now - and don't mind the bowl please. It's cringe but it has a pig face and so whenever I finished eating that's what's staring back at me as a reminder looool not funny Ik

What the scale sees before I step on it:

Okay but why do I actually kinda love writing essays

If I for some reason ever end up having kids of my own I will never ever comment on their body, their weight or compare them to other children, not even their siblings, and then try to soothe them by telling them they're just built bulky. No. I will definitely not be encouraging of they may be overweight and - fucking (un)surprisingly - eat less. And if they lose weight, I won't comment on how grown up they look now with all the face fat gone or grab their ribcage and act fucking impressed or openly diet in front of them or fucking WALK INTO THE ROOM TO WEIGH MYSELF EVERY DAY WHILST I LITERALLY STAND THERE LIKE 🧍🏽

And if I notice my kid is ⭐ving themselve I'm not going comment on it constantly and never do anything, and I won't just shut up when they suddenly begin eating again, devouring everything in sight and all the other things.

And if their Grandma does any of these things I'm just not going to let them see each other when I'm not around. Because I won't have her feed them every fucking calorie in the house just because she didn't give a shit, and then have her try to gossip about my weight with my Mom and keep fucking comparing me to my sister and shit there is so much more and I'm sorry for the rant

If alcohol bad then why so tasty? Why it make me happy :(

I get so mad when my friends tell me like “omg I ate so little today, im anorexic” or “im soooo hungry i haven’t eaten breakfast”

Shut up. Literally shut up. I’ve been fasting for 3 days.

Part of me wants to get better so badly, whereas on the other hand I want to get as bad as possible

as much as im the main factor of my downfall into this disorder i really hope one day i can recover and truly love myself as i am

Was trying to read a book while pacing around my room but a couple pages in I realized just how heavy that thing was like okay, may not be the best to read while walking then, but also how am I supposed to read all that? Ugh

I've been trying to read more lately, because I always thought it was a bit of a waste of time really (I just sit around and do nothing even remotely productive, especially when it's novels I'm reading (I'm trying to get myself a couple scientific books now though so that I'll also feel like I am really doing something for my brain and interests then)) but then I got myself a digital watch and I've really started paying attention to my steps and work outs now and I got the brilliant idea of "what if I read during that?"

My neck is not thanking me. The books are not thanking me. I am NOT thanking me. But it's cool! It's books, after all.

And I used to read a lot as a kid, but that was because I got bullied (especially about my body) and literally had nothing else to do during break time back then because no one wanted to hang out with the fatty kid. Anyway, and that's one of the reasons I kind of stopped reading novels, but now I'm getting back into it!

I know that's a random ass lost but whatever. I don't even plan to write that much, I just wanted to tell you about my heavy book and then the words just started flowing lol

I'm SO BAD at stuff like that and it's probably really not that accurate but here's mine 🥲

i basically look like this guys (https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/1868017 )

mutuals rb with yours PLEASE I WANNA KNOW

might be a bit over specific, but at the moment I like romanticise ⭐ving by pretending I'm just some cool guy commanding a space ship, classes are space ship school or something and I can't eat because I am infected by some alien parasite that'll eat me instead if I eat food... Or something.

Seriously, why am I like this