Currently Reading Solo Leveling

me and @highlordofkrypton got together to form an idea (HER IDEA). which i should tell everyone now is not something to be encouraged, else we create something like this: im not even going to warn you

So people just... post stuff on here? Nice :)) Here's some Law of Talos fanart I did recently ! ^^

What if after that you spent decades trying to bring my decying, lifeless body home, while with every year, my last wish doesn't just become a promise to your brother- it becomes an obsession. Your eyes slowly become darker and stop reflecting what you see; they only see one goal anymore, Earth. What if every roadblock becomes a mortal enemy to you as you try to bring the pile of bones, the ones that used to contain my soul, back- they're stripped of their flesh because you had nothing to eat on one of those long, Europa days when you were stranded from the rest of your brothers in arms. In fact, what if those brothers slowly began looking at you differently, and you know they're talking through their suits about something, but they're not including you. You can tell they're afraid of you, afraid after that night where they dug you out of the snow to see you gnawing on my skeleton, the remains of my moldy flesh scattered on the floor around you and spattered on your face. You didn't mind. Everything was for me, after all. So what if the others minded? You only had to finish the war to get back; you only had to defeat everyone else. You had to hurt the people who had taken me away. And as your good memories of me faded, they became the scraps of life you clung to, because you no longer had anything else. Your brothers never understood why if was so important to you to get me back to Earth, never understood that it wasn't because of my last wish anymore, it was because everything else around you had faded into static and your only peace would be found from burying me in my native land. You weren't even sure what you would do after, but you didn't think about that, all you had to do was keep on putting one foot in front of the other; keep killing one person after another. And what if, as the faces blurred together, you accidently killed your family? Your pack, that had traveled along with you, now lay silent among the pink-stained ice and snow? Well, you were fighting a war. Casualties were bound to happen. It wasn't even really your fault, was it- they were holding you back, trying to make you see that you were slowly dying from some disease you contracted after eating my flesh. But you knew, of course, that that wasn't true. They were only trying to keep you from returning with your brother to Earth, to stay there forevermore. If they were right? You didn't care. You trudged on, through snow and ice and sleet and bullets and guns and fighting and death, even though you were getting slower with every step, you kept walking. And what if, in the end, you looked around and saw that not even my bones were there anymore; your soul was now lost somewhere in the rubble. What if you looked up and thought you saw a glimpse of blue and green, somewhere out there, and felt your heart stop, there amongst the snow.

What if, later, your body was found and brought back to Earth, and I was finally able to rest happily?

What if that's when it ends?

What if it goes on forever?

what if we were brothers in arms in the war torn landscape of europa and i held your bleeding wound as the blood stained the endless, blinding white tundra, your bated breath asking me to bury you back home and our last memory together was looking up to the swirling rings of color on jupiter. what then.

I tried sketching the version of Eris that's always in my head, but I don't think I'm a good enough artist yet to properly draw it :)

Oh well, at least I managed to draw this! I'm really happy with it ^^

I gave him half-elf ears because he always gives me elf vibes, and earrings because I think he'd start wearing those a lot more Beron dies- as an act of rebellion, and to show that he is different from his late father.

Anyway, I'm going to go read more Azris now- hope anybody who sees this is having a good day!! 💅✨️💛💖

Dudes healthcare is so fake. My ADHD meds are $940 without insurance. But they gave me a website of "coupons" which straight up looks like a scam website, and I got it today for $60! Just a coupon from a random website and it was $900 cheaper. America, I am confusion!! America explain!!

You know something that I’d like to see with the Illyrians? Clothes that actually fit the environment of the Illyrian Steppes. It’s described to be very cold, with brutal winds (duh it’s called Windhaven) but their battle armor just doesn’t really fit that? Even Nesta is like “yo I’m freezing where is the furs?” and Emerie is like “yeah it’s pretty expensive.” Yall, do you know how common hunting and furs would be? It would be a widely needed thing so maybe it’s more expensive if you’re not a hunter / you’re poor, but 1. They’re a warrior race in an isolated wilderness, they would for sure hunt, and 2. Clothes that fit the environment should be a pretty common thing instead of skin tight leathers. Skin tight leathers is crazyyyyyy when it’s that fucking cold. Like, yeah sure Cassian is like Illyrians are all about gritting your teeth and barring the cold, BUT I think your army dying of hypothermia might be important to avoid lmao. And when it comes to flying it can help, plus leather and furs is still light compared to other armor so I don’t think it would be too heavy for flying. They carry around a shit ton of metal weapons lmao.

And because I love visuals, I would love to see Illyrian leathers looking more like Mongol / Kazakhstan / Turkish, where weather is extreme and winters are very long and brutal.

My fan art of nesta aka lady death.

Hello happy Tamlin week!!!!!

I procrastinated this fic so much that I only finished it today so please excuse any mistakes because there are definitely some in here. Also I finished 2 drawings and will be posting them on their respective days but idk if I will be able to finish anything else so sorry Tamlin nation I have failed you my loves 😔😩

Anyway please enjoy this poopoo quality fic and I’m sending virtual hugs and kisses to anyone who actually finished all the prompts, you are clearly way cooler, sexier and better at planning than me 💕

Tamlin Week

Day 1: Forgiveness

Tamlin knew every leaf and every sapling in the Spring Court. He could feel the wind every time it rustled a shrub, taste every wave of water as it crashed against the rocks of babbling streams. He was the Spring Court, and so he felt Eris’ polished boots burning into his soil, felt the daisies dying under his careless steps.

Tamlin prowled closer to investigate, still in his beast form with blood matting his mane from the game of his hunt. He found Eris scowling at a thorny branch that had got caught on his pristine tailcoat. He must have heard Tamlin’s heavy paws thudding against the ground because he quickly yanked himself free and straightened his posture. The disgruntled arch of his brows remained as they locked eyes and Eris took in Tamlin’s monstrous form.

Eris tutted. “Still as untamed as ever, I see.”

Tamlin leaned closer in reply, quietly prideful that Eris flinched, even if it was just for a split second. He grunted, making a strand of Eris auburn hair fall out of place.

“What, don’t tell me you’re here to tame me?” When Eris didn’t so much as laugh, he grumbled, “why are you here?”

Eris tucked the wayward strand of hair behind his pointed ear. “I’m the heir of the Autumn Court. Can I not visit my ally?”

“As the heir of the Autumn Court you should know that you shouldn’t cross a court’s boarder’s without an invitation. Ally or not. And I’m not convinced we are allies.”

Eris didn’t even have the decency to pretend to be disappointed. “Aren’t we?”

“No, not when you insist on getting cozy with the Night Court.” Tamlin shook his head, not able to hide how he was disappointed. He had always begrudgingly admired Eris. His father could never resist pointing Eris out at every gathering— not that he needed to, even in his youth Eris carried himself well and dressed even better, with eyes that seemed to pierce Tamlin to the ground he stood on and a laugh so wicked Tamlin found himself praying for salvation. Eris was the pinnacle of what a High Lord wanted in a son, where Tamlin was… to put it politely, terribly lacking in nearly every aspect. So to think of Eris making deals with the Night Court was unbelievable. Nearly. “I suppose your father really was right about cock from the Night Court being persuasive.” Tamlin’s chuckle was too weak to convince either of them that he found any amusement in the jibe. “Just get off my land. I don’t want anymore Vanserra blood on my hands.” With a flick of his tail he began to stomp off, only to find Eris striding beside him.

“It really isn’t,” Eris said, staring straight ahead as they approached the crumbling walls of the manor. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand my motivations but just know that I’m not doing this naively. I have a plan.”

“You always do.”

Eris’ eyes flickered to Tamlin’s. “Unlike some.”

“If that is what you choose to believe of me.” Tamlin didn’t have energy to argue anymore. People thought he was a lot of things these days. There was a time when he cared but that time had passed, like all things do.

“Are you saying I’m wrong?”

Tamlin sighed as he came to a halt at the manor’s vine tangled doors. “I’m saying I’m tired. Goodbye Eris.” When Eris refused to move, only stare him down with a frown, Tamlin added, “You don’t need to keep checking in on me. I’m fine. Whatever responsibility you feel you have to me, feel free to forget about it.”

“I’d hardly call it responsibility. More like pity.”

“I can reject you, would that make it easier?” Tamlin didn’t mean for his words to have as much venom as they did. He steeled himself for a fiery comeback.

“For you it might. I suppose you and all of Prythian would love to see me driven to insanity.” He ground out, his cheeks hearing with rage. Without warning Eris tugged at the bond, making Tamlin quiver so much he shifted out of his beast form. Eris’ eyes slipped down Tamlin’s naked form, his grip on the bond burning hot.

“You know that’s not what I want.” Tamlin tried not to melt under Eris’ gaze, tried to ignore the way his skin prickled as Eris’ grip on the bond became almost tender as he stepped closer.

“What do you want?”

“Nothing. I’ve never wanted anything from you. I’m sorry that you were unfortunate enough to be tied to me, all because that damned cauldron sees me as a female, just because I have the capability to shift into one. I want you to just pretend this thing between us isn’t there. I want you to be as happy as your cold heart is capable of and I’ll try the same.” Before Eris could utter a word Tamlin pushed open the door. Inside servants and members of the court bustled about. Plant life spilled out from every crack of stone. Paintings and fine pottery lined the walkways and there wasn’t a single blemish on any chair or cushion. Every sentry was in their place and all bowed politely at their High Lord. The manor was perfect, at least in Tamlin’s eyes and he learnt over time that that was all that mattered.

“What, were you expecting me to live in a shithole?”

“Well… yes. All anyone has been talking about is how run down your court is.” Eris brushed his thumb over a red rose that clung to the wall. “When did you do all this?”

Tamlin shrugged. “A while. And as far as anyone else is aware my court is still in ruins. I’ve put up a veil so to outsiders it seems as if I’m living with nothing but rubble and dust. I couldn’t risk another attack. I figured if everyone still believed I’d succumbed to defeat they’d leave me and my people alone. So far we’ve remained unbothered so it seems to working.”

Eris blinked back at Tamlin in disbelief. “How— how did you even find the strength to do it?”

Tamlin paused for a while before answering, “I suppose I just forgave myself, which maybe I don’t deserve, but I can’t undo all I’ve done. All I can do is try my best to take care of my people and my court. I’ve decided that I’m just going to try and move on. I’ve made mistakes and maybe I’m a monster but this monster has a court to oversee and people who depend on me.”

Eris forced himself to turn away. “How noble.” Was all he could muster. Eris refused to look Tamlin in the eye and Tamlin was much the same, too afraid in case he might see something of himself in there.

“It would do you good to try the same. I won’t pretend to know all your secret and misdeeds, but I do think you’ve suffered enough. Try forgiving yourself, just for something small every day and then work your way up to the big stuff. It sounds ridiculous but it helps. It’s freeing.”

Eris’ expression hardened, his lips curling into a snarl. “It’s just that easy, huh? Well I hope you can forgive me for being blunt but I really don’t think I’ll be taking life lessons from you while you’ve still got your whole ass out in front of your court.” Eris crossed his arms and began to storm off. “I only came here to tell you to stop purring in your sleep, I can hear it in my dreams. Our bond is quite vocal, it seems.” He barked over his shoulder before disappearing out of sight.

Tamlin rubbed his temples. The maddening smell of burnt cedar and cinnamon still lingering in the space Eris left behind.

He hated how he lied to Eris. The truth was he still hadn’t forgiven himself for one thing, and likely never would. How could he ever forgive himself for cruelly burdening Eris with their mating bond? It was the cauldron that decided it but he was the only one responsible for not being what Eris needed.

Wait

We were defending Dazai???

dazai and akutagawa make me sick too (though i discovered today that i had food poisoning and did not, in fact, actually throw up from bsd angst)

dazai was only a couple of years older than akutagawa and simply perpetuated that cycle of violence that the world around them followed, one lost and deeply disturbed kid trying to lead another and idk that just makes it all the more sadder because the intention behind dazai's actions weren't even intentionally malicious. who is to say dazai did not wholeheartedly believe, like he did for himself, that akutagawa could find meaning in the port mafia?

dazai, who is assimilated in the darkness, who lives around blood and violence each day, how would he have taught akutagawa something other than all he's ever known in his life?

i don't know i just feel like we need more nuance in this discussion when it comes to dazai's abuse of akutagawa, which isn't to defend him at all but to realize that it was a horrible position for either of them to be in; where the blind lead the blind.