Elfstearssociety - Elf‘s Tears Society

Just mailed my new Newsletter (vol.2 jippie! What a time to be alive!) This time talking about ME/CFS, #stillcoviding, solidarity and anger because of the lack of it. I wish I could host my own magazine type of situation.. Maybe one day with a special person. I love writing, people seem to like reading my things as well or at least most of them. The only way how I can become self-sufficient in a financial way would be by becoming a "full time" educator and writer. (I say "full time", because in my condition the only full tim eactivity I take part in is taking care of my basic needs. Still now always succeeding..)

Other topic: I have ordered some secondhand books and plan to write some book reviews on things i read recently and really liked. There are not many, but i have not written a book review in a very very long time.

The last weeks were somehow mentally heavy. I mean, I know why, it’s just that I always hope, that this time my body and mind will be used to it. But the only way how we are used to it is to not see it until some weeks in the situation already. It sucks, honestly. I now have to, again, make up a new routine with little to no knowledge about my working hours at the internship, pretend like everything is fine there and then spontaneously change the plan every time someone else wants it changed. I didn’t know that an internship in a theater can be THAT autism unfriendly?? Sure, was clear that it will have some chaos, but really not having no palm at all and not even trying to give the interns some sort of knowledge? Nobody even told me upfront “hey btw we are a theater that has no scripts or anything, we just do stuff in the process, so you need to be prepared for changing hours and not knowing more than one day ahead”. It would be horrible news but it would be better than to find it out on the second day (on the first day nobody told us anything really).

I really really need to stop giving a damn haha

But how when Disability bE DiSaBiLiTing?😭🥲🫠

P.s. it’s a so called “inclusive theater” btw and yes they might be mostly good to the acting group but I am also Disabled can someone include me please T___T

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊Intro 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

Wow, such a strange feeling being back to tumblr after all this years. Yesterday i went to my old account.. What's up with 73 (??) texts that start with "babygirl"? Anyways...

I have been writing blogs and being on social media in this or other way since I have been 11-12yo. And since I am currently taking a long break from Instagram and Tiktok, I have made a decision to come back to tumblr and use it as my main writing place, as long as i have not mastered coding and created my own silly website.

If you somehow came across my account and don't know who I am: Hey, my name is Elfi Finn, my pronounce in english are they/them (german dey/deren/denen) and I am a chronically ill and Disabled migrant, who just wants to make it without much more damage. 𓆏

🤎I have a Youtube Channel "Elf´s Tears Society" and i learn to create long Content after making short form content for social media since 2017. 🤎I also have a Newsletter, my lovely NPN (No Post-Truth Newspaper), where I share links, write tiny articles and since now also post texts from guests as well. 🤎In addition to all that I have published a book (in German) Die Schildkröte, Die Forelle und Das Schaf. It is available as an E-book via Ko-fi and I am working on reprinting it in the physical form. 🤎I do have depop and Vinted, I tried to sell reworked and upcycled clothes and accessories, but my health is hard to work with, so there is no consistency on it at the moment. You can still check it out though. If you want something, just text me anywhere (just not via Instagram, I don't even have the app anymore).

I want to use this blog in a way we have been using blogs when I was a teenie or a kid (I was born 1998): sharing thoughts, pictures and personal opinions. I don't plan on getting bunch of followers or selling via tumblr (does anyone do that even?) I just want some peace and quite, without pressure of the algorithms and mean jerks who want to tell me how wrong I am about feeling good about myself or fighting for human rights.

Yeah.. That's it i guess. Thats me. And I just want to be ok. ˗ˏˋ 𓅰 ˎˊ˗

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

⊹₊⟡⋆Links ⊹₊⟡⋆

🌿YT: https://www.youtube.com/@Elfs_Tears_Society

🌿Telegram Channel: https://t.me/elfis_mind

🌿Das Buch: https://ko-fi.com/s/56ab18f6e0

🌿NPN Subscription: https://mailchi.mp/c3d4db08fdbd/npn-subscribtion

🌿Pinterest: https://de.pinterest.com/elfs_tears_society/

Very hard researching for the Theater science paper writing about VANYA when Andrew Scott is just there. Just putting out all this characters by himself. Let them flirt, make love, suffer. Sometimes two people cannot act out the chemistry between two characters and somehow Scott manages to play chemistry between the characters all by himself. Live. On stage. Uff..😮‍💨 (in my opinion, VANYA is not good as a Chekhov piece, but it’s genius as Andrew Scott’s one man show, just like Akbar from The Guardian said in her Review)

Finally re-doing my altar after so many months not getting to it. I miss praying. Sure, nobody needs anything to pray, but last months were very stressful and now finally it becomes easier, so, it’s time to reconnect again. Religion is beautiful when not abused.

Learning how to edit long videos on my laptop is actually really fun. Also it looks almost like the pictures from my ✨vision board✨

Soon I am 27 and will have to make a new vision board for the next solar year. I am very interested to see what things will stay and what will change 🦆🦔

I hope to find more time to read soon, but I am so busy with doing things and having anxiety T.T I finally came around to film a YouTube video about the books I read in the last 11 months, but editing it will be so annoying because I don’t have money for a program that would put proper subtitles in..

Since the autism acceptance/awareness month started yesterday, let’s learn a basic: what’s up with neurodiversity and neurodivergence?

All people are neurodiverse as a group.

Like all animals and plants are the biodiversity

The neurodiverse people are separated in neurotypical and neurodivergent people.

Some neurodivergent people are autistic

Neurodivergence is a huge spectrum and there is much more to it than just autism or adhd. It’s not synonymous with autism and/or adhd.

Allistic is a term to describe non-autistic people. But allistics can be differently neurodivergent, for example because of borderline or epilepsy.

Neurotypical people are allistic because they are not autistic.

Neurodiverse (if 🦔 is neurotypical)

🦔🦉🐌 🦔🦔🐺🪿🐒🦔🌿 or

🦔🦔🪱 🦔🦔🦔🦔🦔🦔 or

🐌🪱🦆🐴🦐🦇🐡🪿🪱🪿🪿

As you can see it can mean a lot of things.

Neurodivergent:

🐒🐥🦆🪿🦅🦉🐺🐴🦇🐦‍⬛🦉🐌🦆🪱🦐🐡🐿️🌿+

As you can see it means everyone but 🦔

Autistic (if 🦆 is autistic)

🦆🦆🦆🦆

Neurotypical and allistic

🦔🦔🦔🦔

Allistic and neurodivergent

🐥🐦‍⬛🦋🫎🪱🦗🐙🐳🎄🦦

As you can see it’s everyone but 🦔 or 🦆

My comment:

Yes! This! Sure, screens not cool, Social Media ruining Generation after Generation BUT no social media and no screen actually made damage to all the parts of the body, made your immune system weaker in a way that you are constantly ill with a new thing, made your immune permanently Disbaled, made you so ill that you cannot leave the bed, have a smalltalk, smell stuff or cope with light, cannot remember simple words on a permanent basis, forget the things that you are actively doing in the moment, isolate you from most of the people and almost all places due to lack of acessability and/or your health state, made every condition you have much worse and with every re infection you become worse and worse and actually even if you have been healthy and have been using no screens and no social media you still can become Disbaled and chronically ill in the worst way possible (but even the mild/moderate cases are horrible believe me please). So yeah… phones, right?..

P.s. the way people are in active denial being like “yeah but have you seen research to the way phones alter our brains?” Well yes, but it’s reversible and you can literally just do your best and make yourself busy without the phone. But there is no way you alone can prevent a covid infection and there is no cure or treatment for ME/CFS (which is so often the main chronic illness end up after covid) and LC. So… I would choose the phone and do what I can to not have a problem with it. But even though I mask and have been isolated by people who have been my friends and also by academia, medical institutions, states decisions ect., I am still at risk of re-infection and loosening even more of my energy, brain capacity, concentration and NOTHING is under my control. I can only do things and hope but there is no evidence that some things actually always help. None. You can ”cure” phone addiction or short attention span as a result of social media but you cannot cure ME 🥲 so how about stop the denial, take the mass disabling event seriously and stop comparing apples with oranges?….

It’s always “phones are ruining our brains” and never “the virus known for post-viral cognitive decline, which causes short term memory loss, brain fog, and decreased spatial reasoning, that we let run rampant through our communities for years is ruining our brains”

🤎✨Feel like cotton✨🤎