I Understand.

Pretty much perfect, I would like to protest the lack of gay in this summary though

Season 3 Elias is so goddamn fucking funny to me I forgot what a rollercoaster he was during my first listen.

Like the s2 finale has Jurgen Leitner giving Jon the whole "monsters are real speech" and Jon's like "I need a cigarette. NO ONE get brutal pipe murdered while I'm gone" and Jurgen fails step 1 because Elias walks in and grabs Jon's point-and-click-adventure pipe he'd been carrying around and Brutal Pipe Murders. Which, of course, Jon walks back in on and is prime suspect #1 due to literally every single feature trait and word he's said in the entirety of s2.

So naturally s3 starts with Jon on the lam and Officer Tonner like "I'm gonna arrest him for brutal pipe murder" and I'M like "Shit. I hate this. Elias is going to SO easily pin it on Jon and get away with it."

EXCEPT Elias walks in and is like "hello Ms. Officer no Jon Archivist did not kill that man, also I won't tell you anything else, also this is what you sound like" while reciting all her childhood trauma and all her illegal activity that will get HER sent to jail for brutal murder of the non-pipe variety and now I'm like "....huh." He's also like "Jon didn't do it but you can kill him if you want maybe :)" Elias your alibi????

And then we come BACK with Jon storming Elias's office with his two lesbian bodyguards as back up and he's like "I'm gonna use my powers to make you confess to pipe murder!" At which point Elias is like "It doesn't work on me. But I'm having fun so Martin go get everyone I need to tell you all how I committed pipe murder." and Martin does and Elias is like "Yes I pipe murdered. I also killed Gertrude. I love murder. You will not be compensated extra for this time. Get back to work." And they... DO... just go back to work. Because work is haunted. One of the lesbian police officers works here now, too. This just happened. "Also living dolls from Russia are about to Apocalypse the world, Jon go stop it," Elias says, while also saying "no I'm not gonna tell you how to stop it."

Okay???? Mr. Elias man??? And you're like "maybe he's a ruthless tactician? Maybe he's brutal but it's all in the interest of stopping the doll apocalypse??? He wants to save the earth???" Except THAT'S not even true it's actually more like he's trying to get the Russian dolls kicked out of line at Disney World so HE gets to meet Mickey Mouse first by which I mean, start his OWN Apocalypse, because if the dolls do it first well then what's the point of apocalypsing a planet that's become someone else's sloppy seconds.

Anyway Elias's master strategy here is to bring the human equivalent of a drowned cat to the gun fight and just sit back and watch Jon fall down every set of stairs he finds while Elias goes "This is good. This will work." His name isn't even fucking Elias.

And languages teachers are either never in or have never taken a sick day in their lives

Bro is an international treasure

This little asshole keeps getting into a bird feeder, so we need to test how small is *too* small

3 inch opening: no problem

2.75 inch opening: Easy

2.5 inch opening: doing fine

2.25 inch opening: Bit of a struggle, but as Mr Meeseeks says: CAAAN DOO!

2 inch opening: Alright, lets try chewing the opening a bit, As long as we get the nuts into the mouth (huhuhu) we good I guess…

Uh-oh… Steve is getting greedy

:insert grunts of effort here:

Taking a break…

The guy who made the original video decided after a long struggle to help Steve out.

A New Challenger approaches!

1.75 inchs: Quote Mr Meseeks: “OOOHHH HE’S TRYING”

GIMME GIMME GIMME

He ends up giving up.

Source: Chris Notap - Squirrel ● literally ● bites off more than he can chew ! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sS4ach0CwN4

via imgur

HELP 💀

Pulled these today. Adversity and deception from victory, wonder what that could mean

Verified Palestinian gofundme’s Masterlist

Rightfully so, I have gotten messages worrying if everything I post is legit (I try my best to make sure the answer is yes), but here’s a masterlist of ones that one or more people have confirmed are legit Palestinians. Most are from the blogs @el-shab-hussein, @ibtisams, @palestinecharitycommissionsassoc ,@90-ghost, @nabulsi and @palipunk

I will also be making individual posts for most of these

Help Khaled and his family escape Gaza

Help lara and abdalla Family to be safe in Gaza

Emergency: Help Ibrahim's Family Find Safety - $50 is 500kr

HELP Ezzideen & his Family to EVACUATE Gaza

Your help is the only hope to save us from war.

Hope : Help Little Elen Fetch a brighter Future

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EMERGENCY: HELP evacuate Bashar from Gaza

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Help Jehad Evacute From Gaza

Help a med student & his family evacuate to safety

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Protect an open source engineer and his family

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Call to Action: Keep Gazas Talent Alive

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Urgent Rescue Mission for the Mortaja Family

Save my family from the war in Gaza

Urgent: Help Evacuate My Family From Gaza War

Urgent help to evacuate my family out of Gaza

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emergency : Help Support the Khalaf Family in Gaza

Help AbdulAziz and his family

Help Yousef escape Gaza and treat his cancer

Help my family rebuild home und evacuate Gaza

Please Help Me Evacuate My Children To Safety

Escape From War Nightmare: Support Gazan Family

Help my family in Gaza

Salaam Animal Care, find a safe home for animals

URGENT HELP help my family to evacuate Gaza

Help me & my Family Evacuate from Gaza

Urgent Appeal for Support: Help a Photographer

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Help me to save my family from the war in Gaza

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Urgent apeal to help Elzomar family leave Gaza immediately

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Support Mohammed and His Family Affected by the Gaza War

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Freedom and home repair for Aesha an family

Help us evacuate and rebuild what's left of our lives

Help Tamer and his Family in Gaza!

Help my family escape death and reunite with me.

Help me and my family escape the Genocide in Gaza

Help rebuild Ahmed's family life in Gaza .

Emergency : Saving My Mother and only brother From War Zone

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Urgent Appeal: Help Save Ruba & Muhammad in Gaza!

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Please Help Evacuate Fadi's Family from Gaza

URGENT: Help Hayam and her Family Escape the Genocide

For what remained in us من أجل ما تبقى فينا

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Fatima’s Journey to Restore Artistry in Gaza

My family under fire, help them evacuate Gaza.

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Relief Appeal: Secure Evacuation from Gaza War

Please Help Tahani save her children and husband

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Help My Family Get Out Of Gaza

Vegetables, food, and water for Palestinian families

HELP Muhammad evacuate his family out of GAZA

Secure a Safe Future for Youssef’s Family - Act now

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Saving My Family from the Horrors of War in Gaza

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URGENT - Help Azzam evacuate his family from Gaza

help my children get out of gaza safely

Emergency: Help Evacuate My Family from Gaza

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Anyone remember when shouting "GRAMMARLY DOES MORE THAN JuSt CaTCh ErRoRs" at 7 year old on Royal High was peak humor?

Doing this at my funeral

She's an icon

VIVZIE WHEN I CATCH YOU VIVZIE

ITS HERE IM ABOUT TO WATCH IT, WISH ME LUCK