The Nana In Question Needs To Be Sams Grandma!!!

Klarion joins in cuz it’s hilarious

They act like Sam and Tucker are reincarnated every few centuries XD

after he meets the JL ane becomes their ally, Danny pops down to Fawcett City to give Captain Marvel a presentation titled "Teen Heros Pretending To Be Immortal Ancient Beings Stick Together" subtitled "why you should lie to the JL and say you've known me for hundreds of years".

Billy takes one look at it and is immediately like "yes"

Tag me write this please XD pranking danny is the best! Oh oh let Sam and Tucker be kids to!!!

A DC X DP IDEA #7 The Summons

Imagine dis…

It is always Danny being summoned by cultists, John Constantine, enemies…etc to the mortal plane that starts a beautiful meeting and adventure between the two fandoms. But what if Danny pulled an uno reverse this time, and shenanigans and misunderstandings ensue?

Danny is getting tired of all types of summoning around the Infinite realms, being King and immortal quickly gets boring after a few couple centuries. As well as the fact he is getting annoyed at the summoning that he kept getting himself into. The monologue is getting less creative and less creative by the day, he was sure that all villain monologues are either copyrighted or even ripped off from the same book and source, as they are either A. offering their world for his liking B. making him do something, or even C. kill a certain someone, and you wouldn’t believe the number of times he was summoned for the sole purpose of killing either Batman or Superman from the dubbed both liked and least liked dimension for Danny. Liked as they have real live aliens in that dimension as well so far begun the exciting one in this dimension, Least because the majority of the uncomfortable summoning’s are from that dimension and the majority of the so-called heroes are either messing up the timeline which comes to the headache of both Danny and Clockwork as well kept jumping through the dimensions of their universe.

Today he sat on his throne with all of his eldritch glory when he felt that feeling of being summoned, now when being summoned is like a very annoying ring that you have on this phone on volume that kept on ringing until you answer it. Sighing at his current life, the number of times he summoned in that dimension to the point he can already feel and identify the same ringtone for that dimension. In a spur of a moment as well an ungodly amount of pettiness at that moment for all the times he has summoned as well the headache he and his mentor received he pulled an uno reverse on the heroes and prepared himself to get back at them.

…

Superman, Constantine, Batman, Red Hood, Nightwing, Red Robin, and Robin interfered with yet another cult dedicated to freeing the tyrant Pariah Dark. From what little information they have gathered through the relics and scrolls, Constantine stated that this Pariah Dark will make most of their world-ending fights look like a kid’s squabble due to the vast powers of the Pariah Dark stating that if he wishes though he can destroy this universe in a flick of his hand.

This cult, however, is on a large scale seeing that they were led in a wild goose chase while the other members prepare the runes, sigils, and sacrifices for the necessary ritual.

They managed to stop the cultists from killing their supposed sacrifices when the runes suddenly glowed green, blinding them completely.

The moment they gained consciousness they immediately knew that there is something wrong.

Looking around they noticed that they have been teleported to some sort of forest but looking up to determine the time of the day made them pause.

The sky is painted with endless toxic Lazarus green, and all of the heroes are now on high alert as they assess the situation. They either dimensioned hopped again or they have been dragged by the cultists and transported to wherever this Tyrant ruler is.

Constantine kept reassuring himself that it would be the former but the amount of death magic that flows through the air like oxygen made him think the worse.

Superman tried to fly upwards to have a better view around them but found out that he couldn’t use any of his powers.

As they were navigating this new and dangerous territory Batman kept grilling Constantine for information as every bit of information is now precious as they need to find their way home. Despite Batman drilling for any information that he knew, he knew nothing more other than the following facts.

Pariah Dark is a tyrant that ruled the Infinite realms. Using both fear and his unlimited power to control and dictate the Infinite Realms.

The Infinite Realms have also known as the Ghost zone, in all of the limitless universes and other histories. The Ghost Zone occurs at every feasible and non-feasible moment in time, which means that no matter where or when you are in the Ghost Zone, you are everywhere and every when because it all exists at the same time.

Without the Infinite Realms then there would be the end of their world and reality as they know it.

The residents here are told to be the most powerful ghosts in existence as Deadman could not even measure up to their strengths.

Suddenly the group heard a loud commotion and quickly hid by climbing up the trees for a better view.

There they see a group of large flaming black armored people that covered their entire body and face except for their glowing green eyes. Two of them caught their attention, the larger one has a purple flame surrounding his helmet, carrying a flaming sword as he rides a menacing black horse that has bat-like wings while the other one has a blue flame on top of his head pointing an electrified sword towards the cultists that were teleported differently from them.

From where they at, they were able to hear about the black armored knights that mortals are trespassing around the Infinite Realms. All of the cultists are now screaming and trying to fight off the knights that tried to restrain them, in the end, they were dragged and caged in a metal cage that is connected to a chariot of the skeleton of horses.

They were brought out of their stupor when they heard the continued screaming and begging’s of the cultist in a distant direction and when they heard a child’s giggle below them.

Looking down below them they saw a small child. The child could not be more than 6 with gravity-defying white hair, Lazarus green eyes wearing a simple white cuffed sleeve with brown pants and black shoes.

He pointed at them for being a mortal and looked at them with awe and proceeded to exaggerate the fact that mortals are in the Infinite Realms.

Nightwing being the friendliest face alongside Superman asked who and where they were. The child proceeded to introduce himself as Danny and tell them that they are in the Infinite Realms and that they are trespassing in the land of the dead, being without the High King’s order.

Danny kept gushing at the fact they are living heroes, as well as proceeded to act like a naïve child that will spill information with a few sweet words.

The kid kept asking Nightwing what it’s like to be alive and to eat food that doesn’t attack you.

Of course, that made the heroes grimace seeing that they were reminded that they were in fact in the land of the dead.

Danny next floated towards Superman and excitedly asked about his culture and language as a Kryptonian alien race.

As the ghost child kept asking Superman some questions nobody saw Constantine pale at the moment, they saw the child. As a dark magical user, he can sense the amount of death magic towards a thing or someone. The moment the child appeared in front of them the man Constantine tried to calm his nerves down seeing the abundant concentrated death magic that clings to the child like some parasite.

Batman tried to ask more relevant questions but Danny flew towards Red Hood and Robin exclaiming that they need a doctor, putting on a frown on his face. Batman’s questions kept growing when they heard a siren that seems to echo throughout the realms and the only thing the kid, Danny, said Oh no.

Looking in the direction where Danny looked, they saw a large army of flaming flying horses with black armored knights each of which look like a black sword as the largest one that they have seen before leads them towards their direction the moment they locked eyes on them.

Without thinking of the consequence Red Hood picked up the dead child and proceeded to retreat alongside the rest of the Bat clan, Superman and Constantine.

…

Danny was enjoying this, the soul-whore man was just a bonus. The fact that he owns this poor man’s soul just out of pettiness for tripling the amount of his paperwork for selling his soul to different deities. Once he dies, he is going to embarrass this man to the point he wished he was in hell.

His plan was simple, make them scared at the act of the High King being mad at them. Make them see the horrors of the Infinite Realms and send them home, simple right?

He was about to give them one last scare when he heard an alarm that blared throughout the realms. He just knew that Fright Knight had just pulled the alarm. For the spirit of Halloween, he is serious and zealous about his job. The fact he had forgotten to write a note might be on him.

He was just about to turn around when Red Hood picked him up and carried him like a sack of potatoes. Now in any political sense Red Hood is committing treason, he kept trying to wiggle out of the man’s arms, unable to phase out due to the man’s nature as one of his subjects.

He may be petty but he didn’t mean on making them commit treason, he can do that on his own to piss off the Observants, thank you very much.

Now Danny is panicking about how this prank had railed off course due to his luck.

…

The team of super mortals is now running away from the army approaching them. Using the forest where they have landed to conceal themselves as they think of a way to escape the army of the dead.

Suddenly a green swirling portal opened in front of them, they were about to change direction but Constantine exclaimed loudly that, that portal is the same one that brought them here. So, by that logic that portal will lead them back to their universe.

When they returned to the dark warehouse before they were transported only then they noticed the extra baggage that Red Hood may have brought with him. In fear, Constantine asked why would he bring a ghost child who has extremely protective ghost parents that will hunt them down the moment they realize that he is gone.

Jason argued that ever since Danny appeared the pits quieted down to the moment the ghost child appeared as if he was never been dunked on the Lazarus pits.

As they were arguing Red Robin noticed Danny that he looked worried and kept looking around as if to look for another portal.

…

Newsflash, he was looking for a way to escape the heroes undetected to create his portal.

…

Red Robin was about to ask what was bothering him when all of the heroes present suddenly saw a green outline of a crown and a cape coming from Danny.

Danny asked nervously why were they looking at him funny.

Constantine dropped his cigarette and paled several shades whiter in fear, to the point he was paper.

Batman is now on the verge of a breakdown as well. In a span of a few minutes, they traveled to the land of the dead and saw some ghostly knights and children, and Jason adopting strays in his way. Apparently in the argument the two have and the action, Jason had done in a matter of minutes, his son Jason decided to adopt a ghost child which in return Constantine replied that it is not possible seeing that ghost children in general have protective parents that may hunt us down now that ghost child has a highlight and outline of a crown and cape.

Seeing his look and reaction of Constantine when looked at Danny due to the green highlight outline, Batman demands Constantine’s answers as to why and what could be worse news other than Danny’s ghostly parents hunting them down for unintentionally kidnapping their child.

Constantine replied in a small and shaky voice that they didn’t just kidnap an ordinary ghost child, they kidnapped the Crowned Prince of the Infinite Realms.

…

Danny was sure that the cat is out of the bag, but when the sad trench coat man whispered Crowned Prince instead of High King. He can turn this whole situation turn around in his favor, now if only the spandex-wearing men stop harassing him on his so-called “Father-King.”

…

PS: If someone out there wants to continue or make a fic about this you are free to do so don’t forget to tag me though.

Ghost helpline part 14 New Meetings and New Beginings

Vlad knew three things about Bruce Wayne; he was a playboy, a philanthropist and loved kids. Oh and he was utterly ditzy, kind but dumb. As his kids would say a “himbo”. Vlad relaxed as he scuttled about the kitchen and platted them both up some lasagna.

He briefly wondered where Red, Jack he should get use to calling him Jack, had gone as he walked into the living room and saw the Wayne stare at the television. He had been in the middle of his latest k-drama when the door rang. The drunk looked inthralled with the show, turning to Vlad with a dopey smile. Vlad past him the plate of food before explaining where they were in the plot.

A part of him felt his scars itch as if to remind him of his mistakes. Don’t trust humans, don’t get too close. But as hard as it was to admit, he was lonely and even if they had hurt him he missed them.

Vlad wrapped his robe around him tight.

This was fine, Bruce Wayne was harmless anyways.

—- —- —-

Jack will admit to this not being his best idea, but the blob ghost had informed him that Violet was sick. Nothing major but … still. Jack wanted no needed to help.

He helped the family move in, using his speed as discreetly as possible. He hid in the kitchen and tested the Masters neighbors cookies for poison. There wasn’t any. He went to help but Violet wasn’t there.

But now he could help, there were vampires in Gotham. If he followed the direction to Bludhaven right he should come across a patch of flowers. A fever reducing potion should be easy to make from there.

There were vampires in Gotham so Jack really couldn’t be blamed for assuming he’d never run into a were wolf here.

- Aqualad patrolled Bludhaven as he waited for Nightwing, they had a case to work on. Nightwing is late but that isn’t anything new. He’s texting the acrobat about it when he spots her. It’s hard not to look, especially in a place a dreary as Bludhaven.

She has fine red hair cascading down her back. Her outfit is entirely pink. Like really pink, right down to the platform shoes. The mysterious girl is deathly pale clutching a bedazzled phone for dear life. It’s almost as if she is looking for something. Kaldur feels bad chances are she’s lost. The Atlantian turns around and heads off to meet the Nightwing anyway.

—- —- —-

Boston left Zatanna and John to their bickering, he already knew where they would go to get information. A seedy pub, or illegal trading ring maybe they’d even go some fancy library but Boston knew where the real action was at.

He flew off to Fawcett City.

The door chimed as he walked into the store, the door reading “Mystic Hannas Hair Salon: We’ll change your look like Magic!” Ah it was good to be home.

—- —- —-

Harley is delivering Ivys latest stash of drugs to Penguin when she feels a shadow come from an alley. Which can’t be right. The bats know better than to get that close to a target. She bends down to scratch her new pets ear. (Pan had been getting creative lately.) Taking advantage of her spot on the ground she looked at the alley until something came out. Oh a girl. A girl with violet eyes… fuck what was a meta kid doing out here by herself? Looking closer she was covered in something too. Gross.

Violet stared at the blond woman from across the street. She had a cute little celery dog, it reminded the demon of Auntie Sam. It oozed the magic of the green, so that was probably a good sign right?

“Hey what are you waiting for an invitation get over here!”

Violet smiled, it would seem that she had passed whatever this lady’s test was. She had been stared at and not found lacking, that was a first. It felt nice.

Harley could not believe someone would just let their meta kid run around Gotham. Especially near the Ice Berge Lounge. Her little celery dog seemed to like her tho tugging on their leash to get closer, wagging its tail in glee as the girl trotted across the street like a new born foal. And that was concerning, a good sign that celery dog liked her, she was actually coming over here? Just because she’d asked? What the fuck? Did the kid want to get murdered? Because that’s how you get murdered in Gotham!

Harley squared her shoulders and opened the door to the empty pub, “Come on in, let me charge my phone so you can call someone to pick you up okay?” God Harley hoped she wasn’t a runaway. Well then looks like it was up to Auntie Harley to teach the new kid the rules of Gotham, it could be her good deed of the year she thought.

Celery Dog rubbed itself against the girls legs, “Well hello little one, aren’t you just marvelous.” Her voice was small and quiet. Celery Dog sprouted little flowers at the compliment, which wtf? Did celery even come from flowers? She was so going to have to tell Pammy about this. This kid was interesting.

—- —- —-

Dandelion “Dandy” Masters was pissed. What was meant to be a short trip to pick up his sister was slowly but surely becoming a disaster. They missed several turns, blew two tires, somehow ran out of gas and now, now they were lost!

Charles got out of the car and held his cellphone out looking for bars, “Oh snickerdoodles I got like no reception.”

Dandy sighed, “Hand me your mirror.” None of the clones, aside from Alcor, had shown any affinity for magic. Dandy hated using mirror phones the most, he considered it a waste of magic crystals.

Charles leaned over his brothers shoulder, “Dandy… why the fuck are we in Rhode Island?”

Dandelion zoomed out into the distance of the mirror, “Welcome to Happy Harbor”, he wasn’t entirely sure how but he knew this was all Klarions fault.

—- —- —-

Bruce sat him self on the man’s couch being served his own butlers pasta on a paper plate.

Paper plates, plastic forks, no cameras.

He scans the room as the TV plays a sappy romance show.

Pictures, pillows, art projects litter the area.

Vlad rewinds the show to read the subtitles, again. “The subtitles are wrong, what he actually said was ‘I won’t leave you’.”

The man’s eyes positively lit up at him, “You know Korean!”

“Yes I know multiple languages actually.”

Something about the way he said it must have come out wrong because shorter man shuffles back from him.

“Sorry I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just really tired of that being so surprising to people.” And it wasn’t a lie exactly he knew how important his Brucie person was but sometimes…

“Oh. Does that happen a lot?”

“Does it matter?”

Vlad shuffled away from him again. Bruce feels like an idiot.

“It does, did did that happen today? Butter biscuits is that why you came over drunk?”

Drunk ? He wasn’t, oh right. Bruce Wayne is a notorious party animal. A notorious party animal that just invited himself in to the man’s home. A man that is three inches shorter than him and probably weighs a hundred pounds less. Bruce feels like an absolute asshole.

Think! Bruce think! Say something!

“So tell me about your kids?”

Vlad’s responding smile takes the weight off the bats shoulders.

—- —- —-

Aqualad and Kightwing are investigating a potential Vampire Fog death when they hear a howl. The heroes looked at each other, wolves aren’t native to the area?

They are outside of the building as quick as possible immediately spotting a blur of pink. Dick almost assumed it had to be a speedster before it stopped suddenly. Her eyes connected to Aqualads, arm scratched bleeding red pupils blown wide. Kaldur saw their fangs last, bracing himself as the creature rushed forward!!

… and hid behind him, “Sanctuary! Please sanctuary!” A not so girlish voice rang out at the same time a mammoth creature of hair and claws rounded the corner braking the edge of the building.

Jack closed his eyes, he knew the stories of the King of Atlantis. That he deeply cared for all his subjects, if any of them got hurt on land there would be hell to pay. On top of that all Atlantians were warriors, Jack was a home maker.

Jack wanted to see Violet again more than he cared to keep his pride. He kneeled behind the dark skinned, handsome ocean native and plead.

“Please Atlantian help me.”

Notes

In this Vlad is 6’ and 170lbs

Batman is 6’ 4 and 250 (internet said 210 I looked my self in the mirror and laughed so 🤷‍♀️ 259 it is)

Violet = Konstelacio

Red = Jack, yes he is a vampire.

Jack is a tall boy, he dresses very Kawaii and loves to cook and clean and take care of people. He can make potions and tinkers in mechanics.

Aqualad doesn’t mean to misgender Jack- to be fair he is wearing a dress. 🤷

Family Discussions

My sister has decided to make rules for Thanksgiving since we will be having it at her house for the first time.

There’s typical stuff: no politics, no fighting, no Black Friday shopping, make food on time ectra. And then there’s stuff that makes me rethink our family dinamics :

No talking about lawn culture.

No putting the cats on high places.

No chair stacking.

No sleeping on the floor.

No fighting over the whip cream.

Update: the word cloaca is banned.

No debating whether it’s said Mario or Mario.

No talking about ships especially Tolkien ones.

No “pretending” to turn dinner into an intervention. - Again.

“That boy ain’t right.” Hank Hill

Just some frog doodles. A fancy frog and a frog that….ain’t right. I think he’s been licking himself again.

Witcher fanfic

“Butch” and “butcher” sound a lot alike and Getalt has always been one to take things the wrong way

Family Discussions

Damian :(random scream on the other side of the house)

Jason: was that a scream of happiness or agony

Tim(not looking up from hisphone): both

Ghost helpline chapter 37

Jason couldnt help but give his entire family the side eye. Seriously Bruce? A family dinner? Family dinner with thier nieghbors?? That he has a crush on ???!!! Pppfff oh yeah this was going to work out swimmingly. Whatever.

Jason didn’t know why he felt so knotted up inside about the whole thing. It’s not like they were going to find anything and “Brucie” has had plenty of guests over before. And yet Jason felt snubbed, Bruce knew Jason wouldnt be able to join in. He was still legally dead and couldnt just pop into joint family dinner like “oh yeah I got better dont worry about it”. No Jason would need to steer clear of the mannor all together.

Meanwhile his siblings would get to tease dad about his crush, grill the Masters family and talk to Damiens new friend. Because seriously Damian making friends, with a normal girl? Just wow. Good for the kid, because he defiantly hadn’t learn that from Bruce he scoffed for fucking hells sake even Vad had a sketchy criminal history on his buisness Dalv co.

It stung, it was so fucking stupid but it stung. Why didn’t Jason get to be there. Why didn’t he get to shovel talk Bruce’s crush, eat Alfred’s food, sit around awkwardly, and tease Damian relentlessly?

Jason knew why. He did. Logically Jason knew it wasn’t an attack on him. That Bruce hadn’t purposefully done things this way to exclude him. That he was/n’t an embarrassment, dangerous and unwanted to meet Bruce’s new crush because he couldnt be trusted. It wasn’t personal, it’s not personal.

Beep beep

Jason glanced down to his burner phone and grinned manically at the photo of the skunk haired man he’d been tracking strolling into a warehouse… ..with someone young and pink on their arm. Jasons stomach rolled in disgust at the age difference, “Well hello misplaced aggression.”

——

Damian had been hanging around the Masters manor regardless of fathers …complications of the heart. He and Violet needed to plan a strategy of course. The plan had to be seem-less to even stand a chance of working. A part of that involved English lessons which thankfully doubled as a cover. Damian huffed to himself as Violet failed to write neatly again. It was odd to watch, she could speak with a fair sense of clarity and understood difficult concepts when spoken to but written language seemed to illude her. It was frustrating to watch, her hands moved wrong twisting against the pencils and often snapping them. Damian watched as her hand seemed to twitch uncomfortably as she finished.

“You’re bad at this.”

“Gee thanks I had no idea.”

“Tt. It’s ridiculous anyone as old as you should know how to read and write at a higher level than a sixth grader.” Damian felt his hand fall down his face, “You text just fine though, your horrid grammar aside.” Meaning a big part of the problem was physical….now that he thought about it … he hadn’t seen Violet without her human disguise despite already knowing her secret. Both forms had gloves. There’s something else going on here.

The assassin felt ice at his back.

“Let me see your hand.”

That coldness remained as a small warmth was thrown against his chest as she unthinkingly shoved her hand in his face and ate away at her sugary processed snack- dirtying her practice writing paper further.

Taking off her gloves gave sight to three short claws black from tip to knuckle, two fingers incased in a familiar metal. He hadn’t expected it at all, was Violet allowing him to see this purposefully? A limitation of her glamor? A benefit of their bond?

Beep beep

Damian dropped the others hand to glance at the text. Father did what!?

“What do you enjoy eating?” What do demons even eat? Can demons be vegans? She does look a tad like a ram.

“Red and dad make the best cakes!!!”

“Tt. I meant real food, and I’m sure you will change you mind at tomorrows dinner. Alfred’s desserts are superior to all else.” He planned to ignore her millionth mention of “Red”, she was beyond obsessed and he was not falling for the bait… again. Ugh.

Violet stilled, “Oh are you staying for dinner tomorrow.”

“No it would seems our fathers have gotten it into their minds to bring us all into their nonsense.” Damian huffed.

Violet groaned, “Uhhh nooo I don’t want to.”

“Yes well as detestable as it will be -“

“Not that I just, I don’t like eating in front of humans.”

A delicate eyebrow rose at the statement.

“This isn’t “real food”, human food isn’t my food.” Blood guts crunching on a heart like an apple, wide green eyes staring at her horrified. Scared.

Damian thought about it more. Pencils breaking, the way her hands shook and holding a fork was probably difficult for her?

“So what do you consider food to you?”

“Anything.”

“Violet.”

“Anything I’m a scavenger demon …” her eyes rolling at the look on his face, “Tendons, bone, eyes, decorative flowers and overgrown weeds. You could say we are real … vultures.” She chuckled at her inside joke.

The way she spit out the term “scavenger demon” had him reeling a-bit. There was an obvious issue there… somewhere. Fear slithered threw the bond unwillingly, self deprecating and shallow. He at least understood this feeling well.

The feeling that screamed :

Don’t look at me. Don’t look at me like /that/.

Well he supposed he at least knew a good dish to have made for her. Hopefully Alfred wouldn’t mind a change in the menu.

—- —— —-

Bruce was NOT freaking out he wasn’t! And he will deny it forever. He just really wanted this to go well. He needed this to go well.

And he loves his children deeply! But sometimes they could all be a bit much….

At… family dinners. They yelled and fought and they were all fairly high strung but the Masters weren’t like them half of them looked like a strong breeze could knock them over dear lord….

“Bruce!”

“Bruce.”

“B!”

“Ow!!”

….please just, just don’t fight in front of Vlad.

—- —- ——

The triplets, sans Ziyad, positively swarmed their fathers closet. This was going to be great!

Klarion and Billy looked over at Dandy’s murderous face, this was going to be awful.

And then the stab wound gets infected cuz Tim doesn’t have a spleen.

Tim doesn’t know what to do with all their concern and decides to

A) runs off to his friends and give Jason a heart attack

B) call Konner crying leading to snooping bats to misunderstand even more

C) run off and hide as Alvin Draper (yj is also concerned so hiding with them won’t work) - gives Jason a heart attack bc now Tim is “missing”

D) slinks back to his apartment, meanwhile Bernard kicks down the manor doors furious (he knows but he ain’t saying shit) cuz from a civilian stand point this is beyond wrong

E) Ras just Ras 🤷‍♀️

F) doesn’t get a chance to do anything, gets admitted to the hospital- Lex Luthor is a welcome visitor to play chess with and talk corporate with - this one give Bruce the heart attack

Warning: Dark, Suicidal Tim, etc. Also small spoilers for the Injustice movie

Had a random thought, slightly inspired by the Injustice movie: what if Tim, in a mental health slump, decided to teach the bats a final lesson? Every time he defends himself against Damian’s attacks, he’s criticized for it. So one day, he just doesn’t.

Damian gets angry and decides to take it out on the person he won’t be criticized for attacking. After Tim doesn’t respond to his taunts, he gets physical, and throws a knife or slashes his sword, expecting Tim to get out of the out of the way or block the blow, and Tim doesn’t. The sound of a blade parting flesh and a body falling to the ground gets the other bats attention, and they turn to see Damian standing there with blood on his blade and Tim’s body on the ground.

(Inspired by the scene in the Injustice movie where Damian kills Dick by throwing a baton (escrima stick? IDK) at him, expecting him to catch it (which, earlier in the movie, he did), and Dick, being distracted, doesn’t, and it hits him directly on the temple. Accident, sure, but caused by recklessness)

Basically Damian needs to learn that attacking other people because you are angry is NOT OKAY. Seriously, if you’re pissed, go beat up a training dummy or scream into a pillow.

Does Damian learn the lesson? Or not? What about B and Dick and the others? How do they react?

[Thank you for the TWs! WARNING: This is bad batfam. I love them, but we're chucking them under the angst crack bus for this]

Tw: Dark/Suicidal Tim, domestic abuse, psychological warfare, manipulation, mentions of suicide attempt

Tim is tired of constantly fighting back and defending himself. He's tired of Damian and Jason attacking him. He's tired of Dick and Bruce pushing his boundaries.

If Tim just allows Damian to stab him, *he'll* be the one to get lectured for not dodging. It will become Tim's fault, as a trained vigilante, for not preventing himself from being injured.

What does he decide to do?

Resist with extreme psychological warfare no matter the damage to himself.

He starts small.

He curates cases/stories of sibling abuse and starts to leave them in places Dick will find (hacking/messing with Dick's fyp, newspapers around the Manor, files on the batcomputer, a case Babs is informed about, etc). They aren't reflective of Tim's experiences, not yet, but they show common patterns: adult figures not stepping in, siblings being pushed to compete, escalation, negative behaviors transferring to people/things outside of the siblings, etc.

For Bruce, Tim tricks the man into reading an intimate relationships psychology textbook by stating it was necessary for a case. He then keeps tricking the man into reading gentle parenting, boundaries, and other such information.

Jason is much easier. Tim just leaves books of various siblings relationships within the man's safehouses (healthy ones, distant, cruel, enemies, abusive, recent siblings [like adoption], etc). Jason doesn't know Tim is the one leaving those books, but he is intrigued by the "recommendations." A lot of them have other lessons Tim has prepared mixed in as well [which, if Jason finds out Tim is the one who recommended the books after he starts getting along with him, then they can have book clubs ^^].

Tim sends a ton of empathy animal related movies/shows Dick's way so that the older one ropes Damian into watching them.

This takes months, but at no point does Tim relate the lessons to Tim himself yet.

He then starts pouring in warnings. When Damian tries to hurt him again, Tim asks Dick, "What if I was too tired to dodge it?" This is the only time he asks. Dick waves it off cause Damian "knows better" now. I

Tim almost gave up the game right there and then to prove a point. He held back, though.

For Jason, Tim throws in shock-value trauma dump phrases when they meet up to prevent the older one from attacking.

Jason: *pulls out a gun*

Tim: "Damn. You'd think after threatening to kill myself to prevent my future from occurring that I'd be okay with guns. For some reason, they still make me nauseous."

Jason: *holsters gun* "What the fuck?"

Tim: *nods and then disappears*

It kind of trains Jason from attacking Tim unless he wants to hear really fucked up shit that will have his mind spiraling for days.

For Bruce, Tim just points out how and when the man crosses other people's boundaries (but doesn't point out Tim's). He doesn't put any expectation or remedy out. He just indicates it to start Bruce's thought process of "Did I just cross someone's boundary?"

Then Tim feels that it's ready. He won't get blamed for not dodging Damian's attack.

So, he lets himself be seriously stabbed.

This cues Damian into having a mental breakdown. Dick and Bruce oscillate between blaming everyone else and then themselves. Jason, after seeing the shitshow of these reactions, assigns himself (without telling the others) to suicide watch Tim [those trauma dump phrases are working against Tim here].

Once Tim awakens and realizes the mess he's created, he fucking regrets it all. He doesn't want to have to clean it all up and manipulate them into being better. He's also kind of pissed at Damian for not aiming for his heart or something. Damn.

Ghost Helpline part 3. Diana was shocked, hurt and elated all at once! “Your grandmother is Pandora?! I did not know that she even had a child! I am ecstatic to meet you Konstelacio. Oh my I call you cousin?” This was it! as far apart as the separation between Pandora and Themyscia may be Diana would take any family she could. The loneliness of childhood gnawed at her.

“Oh no! I’m not Pandoras Grandchild!” The girl crossed and uncrossed her arms into an X to show her dismissal, “She is a good mentor! And a wonderful family confidant! If anything she’s like my Nanny.”

Constantine began to sweat buckets.

Diana shouted, “Wait…is Pandora…” lips thinned.

“A ghost ? Yes”

- Tim stared at Konstelacio, she had begun to breathe deeply, averting her eyes from Wonder Woman, feet shuffling together. She was exhibiting shame. And Tim understood the feeling well, that you were too unworthy to even be held in comparison to someone else. Someone whose shoes you could never even dream of filling. “Do Demons have grandmas?” Uhhh speedsters.

“Yes”

“That’s so cool! Who’s yours?”

“I don’t know.”

Oh oh those golden eyes looked tired. As tired as Jason’s eyes had been after his first gala, Dick thought. They may have both been adopted but Jason was treated to so much contempt being from the streets, so much fake pity. /Oh poor kid doesn’t even know who his mom is./Dick knew Jason hated it all.

“I’m sorry!”

“It’s okay. It doesn’t matter.”

/It doesn’t matter Dick! Just drop it!/ the eldest robin frowned.

Damian tsked, “What about your parents? I would suppose even monsters need those? Also landing community service instead of some harsher punishment must mean you have some connection to authority in your ‘realm’ no?”

The little girl grinned, “Yes something like that.”

She has nearly everyone in the room duped, Constantine side eyed the Bats nearly. He knew that smile; a tad too wide eyes, a fraction to tight smile, the inexplicable about of understanding and kindness up until this point… this was the grin of a con artist.

- “I know quite a lot of important people! Why Pandora herself is my nanny! And my supervisor is my uncle.”

“Tsh- is that not a conflict of interest?”

“Doesn’t matter,” John wished he was allowed to smoke in space, “No more wasting time, now that we know you can help us what’s your price?”

“Hhhuuu what? Oh the price for the antidote will have to come later, after all you technically aren’t getting it from me. I’ll have to ask nanna and whoever else decides to help what the want. It’s only fair.”

“We see,” Batman’s low tone sounded. “And the dragon-“

Her hand stuck out shyly, “Tips are always welcomed tho…after all I am still providing a service.”

“We don’t …”

“It takes me a lot of energy and time to help you mortals so much. I’m so tired already.”

Batman’s mouth stilled, “We-“

A blur of red, “Oh are you hungry? Do you need anything? Let me get you a chair, snacks..”

“No no chair! Nothing is going threw that circle !” Constantine yelled, “Do you have any idea what could happen!”

“She’s a child!”

“She’s a demon!”

“Constantine is right.”

“Bats you can’t be serious, just look at her?”

“Flash we know your intentions are in the right place but we just can’t risk it! We also can’t risk not clearly defining what she considers a tip.” Zatanna signed how long have they been here, the girl looked harmless enough but something about her made her skin crawl.

“A favor would be nice! Especially from the red one!”

“See who knows what she could end up asking for.”

“Oh I see I’m sorry,” she looked down dejected, “ I do suppose no one carries favors for ladies around anymore hhhmmm and none of you have handkerchiefs? Awww”

“Why would you want something like that ?!?” Diana was horrified, her to be cousin was a child! No men, man, demon should be giving her favors to begin a courtship! “Flash!”

“Oh no no I wasn’t defending you to-“

“I know I know I just wanted one from you cuz you were nice to me.”

“That’s still doesn’t explain why you would ask for a favor as a tip?” Diana looked as the girl flushed in embarrassment. “I -I -I just want one to show my friends that’s all just to prove that I could get one that’s all! Uummmm cousin???” She hesitated regretful as soon as the word had come out.

“Oh I see are your friends giving you a hard time? Well I say the only one that would be appropriate to give you such a thing would be Robin… the youngest that is.”

The bats looked back at Damian oh dear lord sweat god don’t -

“Tch- here.”

Oh

Damian tossed a handkerchief towards the circle. “You just carry a handkerchief with you?” “Of course I do I’m not a heathen unlike you Drake.”

The toss was barely thrown in her direction when it disappeared entirely. “Where…”

“No worries I just put it in my inventory. Now then I’ll be on my way.”

“Wait!”

“Huh?” Big doe eyes blinked up at them all in confusion.

“The dragon! What about that thi- guy.” Hal scruffed out.

The girl brightened up, “Oh you don’t have to pay me anything for that! After all Aragon the one that broke his patrol. So I’m sure as soon as I send my report someone will come deal with it eventually.”

“Eventually?!” Hal’s hand hit the table, who was this kid?

“Well yes, tons of reports go in everyday! It is the INFINITE realms after all! Who knows when they’ll get to yours.” She shrugged as if it was all just a matter of convenience as if that very dragon haven’t terrorized and destroyed lives throwing its tantrum.

Superman chewed his lip, as this meeting contributed to drag on he had no doubt Aragon would continue to destroy everything in its path. “Wait what about your connection, surely you know someone that can help ? What about your supervisor uncle ?” Clark needed this to stop, he couldn’t even land a punch on this guy. Nothing worked and he was already weak to magic. This has to stop.

“Well I suppose I can but it’ll cost you.”

“Wait just a minute!”

“Do we even have anything you want?” Clark raked his mind over ideas in his head, for a tip all she had wanted was a handkerchief an old school way of showing off to her friends like any normal girl. “We don’t have much but I’m sure we could think of something???”

“It’s okay Mr. Superman.” Konstelacio lite up “I’ll just take something you mortals don’t really think about hhhmmm something small.”

Hal sighed as he leaned back, “You sure we can’t just give her a dog?”

“Ugh fuck this mate I need a light,” forget not being allowed to smoke up here all these idiot we’re getting on John’s last nerve, “Ugh drat! I could have sworn I had my lighter in my pocket.”

“Oh you mortals losing things in your own pocket. Oh that’s what I want in return!”

“A lighter? Smoking is -“

“I want your pockets.”

“What do you mean?”

The devil grinned, “Your pockets, empty them.”

#@starkcravingmad