Not To Brag But I Have No Hair ;)

If I was a postman.

I’d post your nudes online.

- Emmer

Working in food has made me realize how many people will come into a restaurant like 2 mins before it closes and order a full meal. Like gurl my drawer is already gone, the people in the kitchen have taken all their utensils to dish, almost all the food is sold out. And they will get SO PISSED about this like lady in the time it took to have this conversation we've literally closed 😊😃

Fat chucky cheese = chunky cheese

Before poop: 118lb

After poop: 116lb

There is no way I just shit 2 pounds

Turn your books on

Huh?

When ever you are feeling unimportant just remember…….

It only takes one person to stop traffic :)

A bus driver with road rage

You will be gone in 3 days

I downloaded Facebook just to use the Market place, but oh my God. I have stumbled into way too much power. If I have the name of a person I can most definitely find them, and it's so much easier then finding someone of Instagram or tiktok. They must like narrow it down my people in by area or smth. But I'm scared now. If this power goes to my head I may become to dangerous. Someone will have to eliminate me before I destroy the world.😔😥😱

Guyssss so I had a dream where I took a shit, and today I took a shit that looked just like my dream shit. Like I can not make this shit up, except for the shit I made up, in my dream, cus I did make that shit up in my brain🧠🤯😱

Me: What’s that one app that not twitter?

Both my siblings: Tumblr?