Have They Turned Into Crabs Yet?

Me: What’s that one app that not twitter?

Both my siblings: Tumblr?

When ever you are feeling unimportant just remember…….

It only takes one person to stop traffic :)

Working in food has made me realize how many people will come into a restaurant like 2 mins before it closes and order a full meal. Like gurl my drawer is already gone, the people in the kitchen have taken all their utensils to dish, almost all the food is sold out. And they will get SO PISSED about this like lady in the time it took to have this conversation we've literally closed 😊😃

If I was a postman.

I’d post your nudes online.

- Emmer

Turn your books on

Huh?

Without me who’s gonna put spiders in the hotel Frosted Flakes machine?

Have you ever thought of a world where you don't exist? Where everything is the same but you don't live it? And everything still functions the same, even without you? Haha... The thought terrifies me.

Why would it function the same? I'm integral.

How about you bowl these balls ;}

Fat chucky cheese = chunky cheese

I’m suffering from penis pride

they always talk about penis envy but what about the other six penis sins