Any Dp/dc Fic Recs?

Polyarchives in s5 would be so funny, it'll be like the Anti christ and his three weed smoking partners who are way more murderous than he is

I LOVE THIS DKFIFBDJ

Jon: tired, has his partners all tied to kiddy leashes

Tim, Sasha, and Martin: all trying to deal with the fact that seeing Jon murder awoke something inside of them but are dealing with it by telling him to kill more people

The nomads of the Jedi order

the batfam but dick never told anyone about tim’s violent rampage as red robin during bruce’s disappearance.

*in an argument* tim: at least i’m not as bloodthirsty and violent as you! jason: you literally killed so many people when bruce was missing tim! you crossed lines even i wouldn’t, so what’s that about???

*the whole room goes silent, everyone slowly turns their head towards jason as tim just glares at the floor. dick is sending a desperate “ABORT. STOP.” signal with his eyes while making a cut-throat motion with his hands, damian is staring at tim in absolute disbelief and bruce, who was reading the newspaper, just peers over the top with a strained smile and goes: “what lines did he cross, jason?”. chaos ensues.*

bonus: alfred just sipping tea while observing the whole shouting match from the kitchen. he won’t intrude, he’s been waiting for this to happen for a very, very long time.

Dick, to the Titans: OK this is my little brother, everyone has to be so nice to him!

Jason, 6'4, built like a double fridge and holding a gun: Hey.

The Titans:

Years later.

Dick, to the Titans again: OK this is my even littler brother, everyone be super super nice to him!

Duke, 6'2, built like a linebacker and lit up like a glo stick: Yo.

The Titans:

Years after that.

Dick, again, to the Titans: OK this is my littlest baby brother, everyone has to be so sweet to him! He's a baby!

Damian, 18 and 6'0, made of pure muscle and holding a sword: Greetings.

The Titans: ...where are you finding these brothers.

"Strange," Hux said. "Millie hates other people. She's afraid of them, but that's understandable," he stammered. "You're the first one she came to."

Kylo gently lifted the cat and felt his heart skip a beat. He looked into the cat's eyes - the left one was green and the right gray and that part of his witch essence wich usually just knew things gave him the answer.

"That's because she's... mine. Like..." He looked at Hux differently. "You are both mine."

Oh my god I love this.

APLAP (Assigned Pathetic Lifeform at Padawanship)

New padawan Obi-Wan trying to figure out how the FUCK to make his master listen and not abandon him to go running off following "the will of the force" when it hits him. Qui-Gon is perfectly happy stopping and taking care of pathetic life forms, but not Obi-Wan. That's it. He's always been prepared, always been dutiful, strong, self-sufficient.

He's cracked the code. He needs to be more pathetic.

The next time he senses Qui-Gon's about to run off he coordinates a scene of utmost pathetic-ness, that is, he throws himself into the nearest fountain. He trudges up to his master sopping wet, water-logged robes swallowing him, with hair sticking to his face and containing bits of algae from the fountain. He mumbles out an apology for being clumsy before looking up at Qui-Gon with the biggest, most woeful eyes possible to ask if he happened to bring any spare robes (he didn't, Obi-Wan knows this because he is usually the one to pack spare robes for them both). His wet hair is dripping water into his eyes that's beginning to turn them an irritated red, and there's algae sliding down the side of his face, it really is masterful work.

"Oh...I'm sure I'll be able to find something by myself, it's okay Master, I know you had important work to do."

Qui-Gon visibly hesitates. Obi-Wan starts shivering. He turns to walk away. He's stopped by his Master's hand on his shoulder. His Master, who walks back with him, who gets clean clothes from their hosts, who has folded like wet flimsi and even explains his stupid, stupid plan before choosing to hotwire a hoverbike with a passenger seat! Oh, Obi-Wan really has cracked the code!

Afterwards, Obi-Wan stages an increasingly pitiful accident for himself every time his patented 'Qui-Gon Jinn Bullshit' detector goes off. Eventually, his Master stops leaving him behind at all, even giving him funny looks when he turns around and Obi-Wan isn’t next to him. It never fails to make Obi-Wan grin and run to catch up. Sure, his reputation as a perfect padawan is in tatters, alongside his dignity, but it’s a small price to pay for a place at his Master’s side, for him to remember there’s a place for Obi-Wan there.

When the ray shields come up on Naboo, Qui-Gon doesn't charge ahead and leave his padawan behind, he hasn't for years. He waits for Obi-Wan because it feels wrong to do otherwise, his padawan belongs at his side.

Much, much later, when Obi-Wan is drinking to the end of the war with friends, Commander Cress will ask him how he kept General Jinn from running off for entire decade. Obi-Wan laughs, informs him, and resolutely ignores the scene Quinlan is making as the man cackles and pulls up a book to shove at them both, titled Classical Conditioning 101: A guide to subtle psychological manipulation.

This is hilarious and honestly, Capritello is AWESOME.

Casey: Can I buy you a drink?

April: I have a boyfriend.

Casey, counting his money: He can only get something small then.

Random crook being interogated: I'm not scared of you! Everyone knows the bats don't kill, do whatever you want, I'm not talkin'!

Tim, aka red robin: Do you know why people are scared of batman? *holds up some sort of torture weapon* because, sometimes, Death is a mercy.

Crook:.......

Tim: death stare

Crook: ....

Tim: death stare

Crook: ..

Tim:

Crook:

Crook: I will tell you literally anything

Tim, suddenly brighter and no longer terrifying: Welp! That was easy!

I'd like to write this, I'm gonna write this :) except Alex is gonna be so OOC and so is the monster. :)

so i had a idea-

so i was listening to "The end of the line" by The Stupendium and went- "hehehe train conductor alex" and it spiraled- SO

the "eaten" idea of the bad ending but alex remembers that clyde said it would eat them after freeing winfrey (and simon telling them about clydes different idea of care)- so when they do free winfrey, alex bails and stumbles across a old train station and tries to see if they can use it to leave eastridge and ends up accidentally making a deal with a monster that takes the form of the trains engine- feed it and be the conductor and alex gets safety, food, and shelter

and well- its better than getting eaten

Mace: Some padawans might have gotten into a bar brawl.

Tholme: Well, that was entirely predictable.

Mace: One of them punched a gang member.

Tholme: Quinlan?

Mace: Obi-Wan, actually.

Tholme: Oh, that was going to be my second guess.