Source: Twitter - Blog Posts

This is hilarious and honestly, Capritello is AWESOME.

Casey: Can I buy you a drink?

April: I have a boyfriend.

Casey, counting his money: He can only get something small then.

Void Stiles: I am my own emotionally unsupportive boyfriend.

Definitely I don’t care if it takes more time I’m listening to music no matter what I don’t even care if his life is on the line I’m listening to music well I do care about him but music is important

Also I’m using the pronouns used in the post but who knows I’m a lonely person

Modern AU:

Julie: *types into Reddit* Your BFF has been kidnapped and is being held in a location 30 mins away. You're driving to rescue him. It's a warm night and your windows are down. Do you listen to music on the drive there? Yes or no?

Zender. Human daughter of lord shen

Kung fu panda alternative realm well she's avatar a powerful bender

Zender belongs to me

Kumagai: The secret to keeping your hoodies? Buy your girlfriend the exact same one.

Nasu, putting on both hoodies: You sweet naive fool.

Kako: Instead of asking someone why they’re so dressed up, ask yourself why you didn’t wear a better outfit.

Minamisawa: Mizukami told me Santa wasn’t real. Well joke’s on him because I’m at the mall right now and guess who’s here?

Chika: Usami just pulled me into the other room and I thought she want to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me m&m’s with Osamu and Yuma seeing.

Kageura: I JUST FOUND OUT WHAT “ RAIL ME “ MEANS! I THOUGHT IT MEANT “ I’LL HIT YOU WITH A TRAIN. “ I’VE BEEN GOING AROUND TELLING PEOPLE “ SHUT UP OR I’LL RAIL YOU. “ NO, NO, I HATE ALL OF YOU!

Ouji: Just once, I want the opportunity to dramatically swipe everything off a table to make room for a giant map that I’ll use to explain the plan.

Murakami: Why isn’t there a sad sunglasses emoji?

Murakami: I want to show I’m unhappy, but still cool.

Ninomiya: Whenever I screw something up I just say “ We’re in the end game now “ and people think I know what I’m doing.

Arashiyama: Dogs lick us because they know we have bones and they want ‘em.

Yotaro: Can we have ice cream for breakfast?

Karasuma, who already ate all the ice cream for breakfast: That’s not a proper meal.

Suwa: Terashima mentioned the word prototype. When I asked him what he meant, he said, “ People are a prototype “ and I was too scared to ask what he meant.

Jin: This cereal tastes awful. I bet the milk expired.

Kizaki: That’s because this isn’t milk, it’s chicken broth.

Konami: Everytime I go out in public wearing an oversized t-shirt everyone asks “ are you wearing shorts underneath? “ Like, no, Jin, I thought today would be a good day to have my bare pussy out at Walmart.

Kageura: You ever meet someone who is just the human form of crumbs in the bed?

Jin: Kizaki, can you pick me up? I’m at a party and there’s someone funnier than me.

Yuma: I hate the way you pack my lunch.

Kizaki: Maybe you should pack your own lunch.

Yuma: [ Packs 32 Oreos ]

Kizaki: Maybe I should pack your lunch.

Kageura: Porn is so unrealistic, I just took a shower with Inukai and stood in the corner freezing for 20 minutes handing him different shampoos.

Kitazoe: I saw Kage and Inukai hugging and then I realized they were choking each other and was like okay, that makes more sense.

Yoneya: Miwa, are you seeing anyone?

Miwa, blushing: No, no, I’m not, why?

Yoneya: Because, you should really see a therapist or something.

Mizukami: Look, I love you, but I made exactly the amount of cheese and crackers I want to eat right now.

Ikoma: But I only-

Mizukami: EXACTLY the amount.

Ikoma: A lady just dropped a steak while I was at the store. I said “ whoops, now it’s ground beef. “ She didn’t laugh or seem slightly amused but that’s show biz baby.

Hiura: My ears are triangles! I have no responsibilities! Meow meow!

Kizaki: Yesterday I overheard Hyuse saying “ are you sure this is a good idea? “ and Yotaro replying “ Just trust me “ and I have never moved from the hallway to the living room so quickly in my life.

Chika: What doesn’t kill you, makes you weird at intimacy.