Someone Linked Me This. (https://www.facebook.com/mcgregazil/posts/10218725218181118)

I really, really dislike the narrative that surrounds romantic relationships that if you don’t want to spend 100% of your time together, you’re not in a healthy relationship. And I don’t mean “ugh I can’t stand them right now” or the whole “wimmin, amirite? Can’t live with ‘em, but still expect them to clean up after me” heteronormative, hateful bullshit. I mean the fact that romantic ideals have been elevated to such unhealthy peaks of unrealisticness, that even wanting time and space to yourself is considered abnormal. 

Like some of the things people are describing when it comes to their “ideal” relationship? Honestly just reminds me of the codependency worksheet my therapist made me fill out, and I ought to know because I’m extremely dependant on my partner to stay alive. Granted, my situation is a little different from people who aren’t disabled or chronically ill. But this still doesn’t change who we are as people, even if it has changed the dynamics of our relationship.

But we’re still emotionally very independent people, and like doing things on our own. We always have, even before my health issues, we had our own friends. We loved wandering off and doing stuff on our own pre-Corona. And even now we still like having some downtime apart, even if it just means he’s watching TV in the other room, and I’m on the computer talking to all y’all. That downtime doesn’t mean we’re dysfunctional or dealing with unresolved resentment with each other, it just means we don’t feel the need for constant physical proximity to feel close. We’re still getting our needs met, we’re still happy. And yet some people would say that because we don’t feel the need to do everything together at every minute of the day, we must secretly be unhappy. Why? Why are some of you so dysfunctional you can’t spend any time apart? (See how not nice it is for someone to say something like that?)

And also, while I’m at it, erase the idea that you’re so in love with someone you will never be mad at them because that’s also not healthy or realistic. There will be times your partner will irk you. There may even be times that they outright piss you off or vice versa. What matters is how you handle those moments and work through them together. And if you’re continually framing your relationship in terms of “we’re so in love we’ll never be angry at each other, so I don’t even have to think about it,” you’re not preparing yourself to deal with real and very valid emotions that are part of the human social experience. You can be the most in love, most in tune, best-matched couple ever, and still find yourself annoyed by something. And it’s the people who break up who either don’t know how to deal with this, or just plain won’t because it breaks their internal narrative of True Love™ overcoming all, not realizing that love is both a feeling and a choice, and sometimes you gotta choose to work at it.

 And this applies to queer relationships as well. All too often, I see people saying, “we’re queer, so this will never be an issue” when what you really mean to say is, “we’re queer, so these particular problems that are prevalent in heteronormative relationships will not affect us in that way.”

But that does not mean you will never come across a problem that does put a strain on your relationship. Like, say, a fucking global pandemic that locks most people in their homes for a fourth, fifth month in a row with no other means of socialization or stimulation.

Or one of you getting sick and suddenly requiring constant care… 

And that shit ain’t easy regardless of who you love. Being a caretaker is emotionally and physically draining, and I could write for hours about why there need to be better support systems in place for the caretaker spouses of chronically and terminally ill/disabled partners and how they often become chronically ill themselves. (I was a caretaker myself from the age of 9 onwards. I know this shit isn’t easy. It’s why I made ETD go to therapy when we realized I would need him to take care of me if we wanted to keep me alive.) But that’s another topic for another post. 

Like, honestly, maybe it’s me. Perhaps it’s my experiences and how I view love and relationships, but the whole idea of “I don’t need to take time for myself I’m in a loving relationship!” is just… not good. Everyone needs their own space sometimes and demonizing that as unhealthy is, well, not healthy.

Humans are human, we’re social creatures for the most part. But sometimes you just gotta go off by yourself into the metaphorical woods of the psyche and spend some time being comfortable with yourself. And if you can’t do that without feeling like your relationship is in trouble, well, maybe you ought to evaluate why. 

BILL NYE can’t stress the importance of Climate Change enough

Okay, another “long term The Witcher books fan talking about the series” post from me.

I AM SO SORRY! But I thought that for some of you fanfiction writers here who write Geraskier stuff (and other ship fics, like Geralt and Yen! I respect all ships! ^^) those things might be useful or that they can be just fun in general for some people. Here is a bunch of canon things that I like but don’t often see in fics! Some of those will be totally innocent, but some are slightly more spicy (trying hard to not use any word that tumblr might not like).

But first a disclaimer! I am not sharing this to bash any fanfic writers for not being canon-friendly enough or to make anyone feel worse about their lore knowlage! You are an amazing fan, no matter if your knowlage is based on books, games, series or all of those! I am not an expert myself, I just randomly remembered some stuff so I thought I might share them. And fanfiction should be fun, it is about what you want to explore no matter if it’s canon or not! You do you! ^^ I just think some of those things might be fun to point out! So here we go:

Geralt:

- Witchers can’t blush – it’s due to blood system mutation.

- Geralt can’t get hard for some time after using his potions – Yennefer was able to get him “ready” in this kind of situation only by using a spell.

- Geralt is NOT an aggressive lover – while the scenes in the book are not really explicit, from reading them you can still see very clearly that Geralt is careful and gentle in bed. I am not saying that he can’t go rough if his lover wants that, because I am sure he can do it very well, but he definitely is not brutal. He cares about his partners, even if they don’t really know each other. He is also well aware that the way you act in bed affects your partner’s comfort.

- Women don’t find Geralt repulsive – while many people fear Geralt or find him disgusting, many women also find him extremely attractive. Some find him way more attractive than other men around them. He never has any troubles with finding someone to spend a night with him. In many cases those women are the ones suggesting something more. In the books there is even a scene where two women are thirsting over him, talking about what they would do with him and when he hears this, he is the one being uncomfortable.

Jaskier:

- Jaskier means “buttercup” - which is a very small yellow flower popular in Polish meadows and often growing close to roads.

- He looks about 10 years younger than he actually is - someone points out that he is nearly 40 but looks nearly 30.

- Jaskier was sometimes mistaken for an elf when he had his hair longer.

- He is really scared of pain – while he can be very brave while he travels with Geralt and he can be badass af, he is also a big drama queen when the smallest things happen to him. He is not really experienced with being injured so he overreacts. And despite being very proud, he can ask for mercy when he is afraid and helpless.

Yennefer:

- She can be very loud in bed – she is not ashamed of it and she thinks it’s actually healthy to let everything out.

- After l o v e  m a k i n g (I am really trying to not use the s-word XD) with Geralt she would often say “o jejku jej” or just “jejku jej” in Polish version – I couldn’t find how it was translated to English, but I would roughly translate it to “oh my my”.

- She is able to draw a bath with her magic - and she does that often.

I will update this list when I remember more things that have fanfic potential and please you do it too! :3

the GM: the field is populated with ornamental flamingos.

the monk: i don’t know if my character’s ever seen a flamingo before.

the GM: roll to know what a flamingo is!

the monk: *gets a nat 1*

the monk:

[GIF ID: An extremely muscular, shirtless person does a standing windmill on a soccer field filled with several dozen plastic flamingos. Then, they kick every single flamingo out of frame in a frenetic rage, then rage-run offscreen. End ID.]

i haven’t seen any posts about this going around on tumblr yet, and i know theres a lot going on around the world but this is an issue that needs (and has always needed) more coverage tbqh.

Kylie Jenner has recently been under fire for her clothing line in collaboration with Kendall Jenner, Kendall + Kylie, refusing to pay Bangladeshi apparel workers making their products. the company is owned by Global Brands Group, which has decided not to pay the workers due to the lack of sales during the pandemic. people started speaking up about the payment issue on Kylie’s instagram, but instead of a proper response comments were being deleted and eventually limited.

however, the issue doesn’t begin and end with Kendall + Kylie, the treatment of factory workers in Bangladesh is a problem with a long overdue response. most of these people are women working in gruelling conditions, being paid in dust and recieving little to no benefits. their lives are seen as disposable. during the quarantine, factories continued production but laid off a quarter of the workforce while the rest still face the threat of wage cuts and lack of access to healthcare.

all the fast fashion we consume like Gap, Primark, Forever 21 and C&A comes at the cost of labour exploitation in developing countries like Bangladesh. this is the country where the main source of income is textiles, where the 2013 Rana Plaza incident killed 1,100 factory workers alone, where workers constantly protest for better salaries and safer conditions, and yet they recieve not even an ounce of dignity for their hard labour. change needs to happen, better sooner than later. will reblog with what you can do to help (since tumblr hates posts with links).

3 Ways to Keep Yourself Safe When You're Not Ready to Leave Your Abusive Partner

If you're in a relationship with an abusive partner, you're not alone – this author can relate, as can countless other survivors, who make an average of seven attempts before leaving for good. You should feel safe, not just if you want to leave, but right now.

In addition to what’s mentioned in this link, we have some info to help folks make a plan to stay safe when leaving an abusive relationship, and when they can’t leave just yet: The Scarleteen Safety Plan

Advocates say the fastest way to help immigrants separated from their children: Post their bail

When undocumented immigrants are detained by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) or U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP), they are held in detention until they go to trial where the court will decide whether they can stay in the country. In some cases, the immigration judge will let them go while they await trial if they first pay a bail bond. Bail is set at a legal minimum of $1,500, but can be much higher. The bond is meant as a deposit to ensure the accused will report to their trial. If they attend all of their court appointments, they can get the money back. But many people have trouble coming up with the funds. The average bail bond issued by the San Francisco immigration courts in 2014 was $3,411 and the average cost of bond in immigration courts nationally is $6,500. Bond amounts could be as high as $80,500 on Central District of California immigration bonds, according to a 2015 study by USC law professor Emily Ryo. Donating to community bond funds can immediately “lead to freedom,” she said. Community bond funds are charities, like RAICES, that use funds to post bail and provide legal defense for detained people.This is one of the fastest ways to reunite immigrants with their family, said Pilar Weiss, project director at the National Bail Fund Network.

DIRECTORY OF CRIMINAL SYSTEM BAIL FUNDS

National organizations funding bail across the U.S.

National Bail Out

The American Bar Association

Queer Detainee Empowerment Project

Freedom for Immigrants

Local organizations funding bail for immigrants

Arizona Tucson Second Chance Bail Fund Colorado Colorado Freedom Fund California Bay Area Immigration Bond Fund Immigrant Families Defense Fund The Orange County Justice Fund Connecticut Connecticut Bail Fund Immigrant Bail Fund Florida LGBTQ Freedom Fund Hawaii Hawaii Community Bail Fund Illinois Champaign County Bailout Coalition Chicago Community Bond Fund Iowa Eastern Iowa Community Bond Project Kentucky Louisville Community Bail Fund Louisiana New Orleans Safety & Freedom Fund YWCA Greater Baton Rouge Community Bail Fund Massachusetts Massachusetts Bail Fund Minnesota Minnesota Freedom Fund Nebraska Omaha Freedom Fund Nevada Vegas Freedom Fund New York City Bronx Freedom Fund Brooklyn Community Bail Fund Lorena Borjas Community Fund WSLS Bail Fund New York State Columbia County Bail Fund EOC of Suffolk Inc. Charitable Bail Fund OAR of Tompkins County Bail Fund Syracuse Jail Ministry North Carolina Southern Coalition for Social Justice Bail Fund Alamance County Community Bail Fund North Carolina Community Bail Fund of Durham Oregon Portland Freedom Fund Pennsylvania Dauphin County Bail Fund Philadelphia Community Bail Fund Philadelphia Bail Fund Tennessee Hamilton County Community Bail Fund Memphis Community Bail Fund Nashville Community Bail Fund Texas Detained Migrant Solidarity Committee Fianza Fund Community Bail Fund of North Texas Virginia Richmond Community Bail Fund Roanoke Community Bail Fund Charlottesville Community Resilience Fund Washington Northwest Community Bail Fund Wisconsin Free the 350 Bail Fund

DIRECTORY OF IMMIGRATION BOND FUNDS National organizations across the U.S.

Freedom for Immigrants National Bond Fund

Haitian Immigrant Bond Assistance Project

LGBTQ Freedom Fund

RAICES Bond Fund

Arizona Pima Monthly Meeting Immigration Bond Fund California Bay Area Immigration Bond Fund Immigrant Families Defense Fund Orange County Justice Fund San Diego Immigrant Rights Consortium – Borderlands Get Free Fund Colorado Immigrant Freedom Fund of Colorado Connecticut Immigrant Bail Fund Iowa Eastern Iowa Community Bond Project Massachusetts Beyond Bail & Legal Defense Fund Michigan Kent County Immigration Bond for Our Neighbor’s Defense Fund Minnesota Minnesota Freedom Fund New Hampshire NH Conference UCC Immigrant and Refugee Support Group New York LIFE Bond Fund (New Sanctuary Coalition)New York Immigrant Freedom Fund Ohio (includes Northern Kentucky) 3R Fund for Immigrants Texas Fronterizo Fianza Fund Hutto Community Deportation Defense & Bond Fund RAICES Texas Bond Fund Vermont Vermont Freedom Bail Fund  Virginia Cville Immigrant Bond Fund Washington Fair Fight Immigrant Bond Fund

geralt and jaskier both got a praise kink a mile wide, their dirty talk can be classified as motivational speeches