I've Decided I'm A Muppet, Not A Man

Damien Cray: Hello private assassin of mine, I have an annoying person I’d like to be rid of

Yassen: lol ok no problem boss who is it this time

Damien Cray: This kid called Alex Rider

Yassen: OH NO MY SON

local woman who claimed she will "cross that bridge when she comes to it" arrives at said bridge

my bf and I have the same fucking brain

i had a vision

Bleeding profusely from the head while also still having perfect aim to make that final poetic shot 😩

“Resources for writing realistic injuries” no. I want to beat my characters to shit and I don’t care where the blood they’re coughing up is coming from. Like in anime.

You ever just write fanfictions for comfort that you plan on posting but then just- don't?

Drinking sugar free Sprite is proven to be better for you and even more horrendous than drinking McDonald's Sprite

(so do i)

Minions is such a meme rn because god worships those little guys

Your reblogs are how I know you're still alive