Do Y'all Ever Read Through Your Drafted Scenes And Think "lol These Characters Are Cute And Funny" And

hoodies are one of the most powerful and underappreciated articles of clothing. cold? put on a hoodie. raining? put on a hoodie. no bra? put on a hoodie. nothing to wear? hoodie. cripplingly low self esteem? you already know. so versatile! so multifaceted!

"Ma'am, ma'am, what should we do?" The fresh rookies crowd around me while I am simply enjoying my peace. Or, well, trying to enjoy my peace. I set my coffee down.

"You lot," I begin as they go quiet, "truly have some gall, crowdin' around me like ducklings with their mother duck."

They look at me in bewilderment, utter shock in those innocent eyes.

"You heard me," I say. "This is the SCP foundation, not the babysitter club. Now calm the hell down and figure out, rationally, how to solve this problem."

As they go their own ways and start talking solutions and containment procedures with their voices still audibly shaking, I make a note in my phone: 'teach new rookies how to deal with their jobs'.

Alarms blare throughout the facility. Screams and gunshots echo through the halls. The rookie scientists around you are in panic. You sip your coffee at the breakroom table in peace, “just another tuesday.” You state calmy.

How am i supposed to keep going after that

you have to fistfight your tumblr pfp. do you think you'd win

Even if it was for one year in fifth grade <3

Extra points for leaving in tags for how many years and if you still do

So i was fooling around with an incorrect quotes generator and got s-tier comedy

Some ever so slight spoilers under the cut (if you haven't read that far into secret shanghai)

Phoebe: Why is it so hard for you to believe me?!

Silas: ...

Phoebe: Oh, right. The lying.

~

Oliver: I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of it this time.

Orion: *cracks knuckles* Manslaughter it is!

~

Alisa: Do you think different paints have different tastes?

Orion: They do.

Roma: ...Why did you say that with such certainty?

~

Juliette: What’s up? I’m back.

Rosalind: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead

Juliette: Death is a social construct.

what the fuck is going on this year. january through june didnt happen. july is a distant memory. august and september were the longest months of my life. october ended in 5 seconds. why is november here already this isn’t right

LOVEEE when i’m in the kitchen while someone else is cooking and they say “could you give that a stir for me?” brother. i would be HONORED to give that a stir for you

Once more for those in the back.

[gets a new mutual] i look forward to working with you