Eddie Went To The Seeley Booth School Of Being Actively Behind The Wheel But Only Staring At His Passenger

getting my 8x11 meta in under the wire. i’ve been thinking a lot about maddie’s “maybe it’s time to learn the lesson again. how to be alone” line and how it fits into the context of the conversation. bc i know i’ve joked about it like oh buck fucked up maddie’s advice to get friends so bad that she told him to be alone instead but the thing is is that she’s NOT telling him to like . cut all ties and be completely alone. obviously. he still has her and the 118. his friends and family. shes not telling him to not have friends. so then what is she saying? surface level it’s her telling buck to not get back with tommy just to not be alone bc buck literally said "i was using tommy to avoid feeling alone" right before. but the logic here that was set up from the beginning of the episode is buck missed eddie -> buck used tommy to avoid feeling alone -> maddie tells him to be okay with being alone. so the type of being alone that maddie is talking about here isn't general loneliness or the loneliness that comes from not being in a relationship but buck specifically being alone without eddie and missing him. it's just interesting how, in the same conversation that buck refers to his and eddie's friendship as "what me and eddie have" that maddie is ALSO putting their friendship on a different level than normal friends. and buck doesn't correct her. its how you would talk about getting over an ex and not jumping straight into a new relationship just to be in one. it's not how you talk about your friend moving away. except it's how buck talks about eddie bc he's insane and thinks that it's normal. and everybody around him is also doing it bc it's just how their relationship is universally understood.

OH MY FUCKING GOD NO NO NONONONON MADDIEEEEE. I SAID NO MADDIE NDE ON MY PREDICTION HOW DARE YOU 😭

my dream scenario of tommy making a big comeback arrival via helicopter with heavily pregnant marisol and landing on some random roof mid a 118 emergency response just so buck can help her deliver the baby (tim loves callbacks) and then sue eddie to keep it for himself (and tommy) while marisol realizes she's in love with abby and runs off into the sunset seems like a more realistic prediction with every passing minute

i would love to know what the people complaining about their acting choices would want them to do. like do you want them to stand there and announce every emotion they're going through at any moment? it's in the look back. it's in the slight twinge to their smiles. the awkward waving of the arms. the eyelashes fluttering. the nervous scratching. the writing choices. the confusion as the distance grows. it's all there and if you can't interpret that, it's on you

the whole fucking point is that buck would sacrifice everything for eddie and eddie would sacrifice everything for buck AND they would both sacrifice everything, INCLUDING EACH OTHER, for chris. that's the whole point. that's how buck is finally going to realize that he has a family with them and how eddie and chris are going to realize buck is theirs. it's literally the whole fucking point!!!!!!!!!!! nobody loses here

(x)

things (other than actual feelings realisation) that would drive me insane if they happen tonight:

- ANOTHER "I'm straight"/"Eddie is straight"

- someone else asking Buck about his feelings for Eddie

- someone asking Eddie about Buck

- "wish you were here" buddie facetime scene

- the will being mentioned

i am so serious when i say dark and quiet are both human rights.

i don't mean like absolute silence. obviously in an ideal community, there would still be sound and noise from people and music and work etc. but it haunts me that when i camp in the forest i can hear the howl of semi trucks on the interstate miles away. and the people who live beside it never know quiet. it haunts me that many people will live their whole lives never seeing the stars in the sky that were fully visible with NO electric light pollution as recently as my great-grandparents' childhoods.

so much of our lives is bright bright unnecessary noise. neon mcdonalds signs 200 feet in the air so we can see it from the road. led lights over billboards. parking lots lit up like sports stadiums at closed office buildings. advertisements playing at gasoline pumps. streets lined with led porch lights and decorative garden lights that genuinely threaten entire species of wildlife. music blaring outside pharmacies to deter homeless people. everything always shining and wailing for no purpose but profit and cruelty.

obviously not everything can be turned off or made quiet and i wouldn't want it to be anyway and there is a lot of nuance and room for "but what about" here, but MANY things HAVE to change because none of us are supposed to live like this and we shouldn't have to!!!

I DON'T HAVE TO SLEEP WITH EVERYONE I HAVE FEELINGS FOR EVAN BUCKLEY YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW

Buck choosing to say “Eddie’s straight” “my straight best friend” ok what if he wasn’t.. what then