"What Am I Doing Wrong?"

hi everyone, ahmed (@ahmedmahmoudu) reached out to me asking to make a post about his situation in gaza. he and his family of four children have been displaced more than once, and are currently residing in a tent. they need all the help they can get for necessities, health, and survival. i cannot imagine experiencing what the residents of gaza do every day.

his account is verified by @gazavetters (#521 on the list). if you can, please open up your heart and consider donating to him and his family here. and if you can't do that, please at least share this post or reblog ahmed's on his linked account. thank you <3

VOID STATE SUCCESS STORY

I FINALLY DID IT AFTER ALMOST 2 YEARS I ENTERED THE VOID AWARE IT WAS SO EASYYY

so yesterday I went to sleep with the intention that im entering the void state just to experience it and was so tired i was so close to falling asleep then suddenly i couldn't feel my body or hear anything and my void was pitch black with stars i was there for a few minutes and left tonight i will manifest my dream life

hi i just wanted to ask u to make it clear for me, you listened to subs 6 hours a day? 1 hour each for desired life and the luck sub and rest of the subs playlist for 4 hours right?

also congratulations!!!!

Yes, 6 hours a day and also the itkuzome void sub overnight. And Thank You 😊

Being from Gaza, Palestine is so different.

I tell people I'm from Gaza and I get pity, I get the "oh... do you have family there?" and I have to act tough, I am tough, it runs in my veins. Being from Gaza is expecting that reaction, the sorrow, it's dealing with dumbass people everyday, it's getting the "can you go there?" question. (No i cant btw).

I am from Gaza, I feel emotions just like everyone else, I feel anger and hurt and longing for a place I cant visit, I feel love and comfort and right now I feel alone and like im yelling at the world to pay attention and NO ONE CARES.

I am from Gaza, my thoughts belong to Gaza, my heart, my skin color, the way I speak, the way I say words a bit differently than the rest of the Palestinians, the way I wish I was a filmmaker to share my culture with the world.

I am from Gaza, i am aware of how different my people are, i am aware that i grew up differently, I am aware I grew up looking at the news from my grandparents television with my aunt waiting for news about her family, I am aware that I have trauma in my veins, I am aware that my culture is taken over and that I can't really speak about it, I am aware that not everyone experiences your aunt screaming that her brother died and yelling "He's apart of my soul, my soul died"

I am from Gaza, I hurt, I feel, I love, I care and my heart, soul and mind all belong to my beautiful land and its people.

Okay this is outrageously easy. The way I overcomplicated everything is ummm embarrassing but we move…

So I just really thought and took in that I don't have to put anything on a pedestal and tire myself out I should just stick to that “idc” mindset I have. I was manifesting waking up in the void since I wanted to experience it (and probably manifest my dream life through it) and I was like it's literally nothing, not that deep. Before I would affirm and vaunt many times, visualise and I’d experience that feeling of fulfilment and knowing multiple times until it felt natural. Then yesterday I basically just left it all alone since I already did everything (even when I didn't have to) so it's basically inevitable for me to get what i want, there’s no point in doing anything more now (also methods made me feel like i was struggling to “get” and i didn’t like that). Anyway last night I woke up in the void (by literally falling asleep normally) and I didn't even freak out or anything I was just like "hm okay". I affirmed that I manifest things I want extremely fast and I wake up in the void every night, after I just chilled there for a bit.

I came across this post on how to make your desires feel natural to you i forgot who it was and I honestly can’t be asked finding it but it said to think of it this way. Let’s say many people want a certain feature you have like your eye colour or hair type/texture and they really want it, they even get hella excited or happy thinking about having it. But when you actually take the time to think about that feature you don't even give much of a reaction like you don't care as much that's cus you already have it, it's always been yours. I know I'm repeating what everyone has said and that's because that's literally all there is to say honestly. So being on tumblr scavenging for answers isn't doing anything really. everyone will just repeat the same thing but phrased differently to help people understand better and some people will get mad about them repeating themselves like….. yeah..? that's basically the answer to all your questions.

You think you’re “waiting” to “get” your desires but like it’s the other way round, your desires are waiting for you to wake up and accept that they’re already yours

So it's all just crickets and tumbleweed, if you're just sitting there questioning why you, apparently, don't have your desires. Imagine your desires are just awkwardly watching you ignoring the fact that you already have them and they’re right there in front of you. They’re probably just looking to the left and right, scratching their head. it's especially awkward when you're looking at the 3D for answers when it's literally useless and doesn't do shit, it only reflects old circumstances. That can only change when you turn to yourself or the 4D for answers, and of course any method will help but then again it all comes down to you to decide if it works. If you "want" your desires don’t dismiss what it is that "gets" you them...idk how to phrase it but just start applying and persist it's honestly too easy.

Anyway enough from me, I'm finally deleting this app right after this. This was long sorry if it doesn't make sense but this is how I understood it. To summarise you're all that's left to"getting" your desires. Think of it as having a breakdown over not being able to find your glasses or hair tie but turns out you're wearing it the entire time.

Thank you Wii and all the other bloggers who take the time out of their day to help others with all of this. Take care of yourselves!!

THIS IS AMAZING!!! I’m SO proud of you!! SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY APPLIED WHAT THEY KNEW AND NOW LOOK AT THEM!! you deserve this so much honestly i’m beyond happy for you!

Also i REALLY love the way you put yourself on the pedestal by saying that your desires are waiting for YOU and not the other way round.

List of Journalists Killed During this Genocide. Say their names!

Jabr Abu Hadrous (29/12/23)

Abdallah Hamad (29/12/23)

Ahmad Khair El-Deen (28/12/23)

Muhammad Khair El-Deen (28/12/23)

Ahmed Jamal Al-Madhoun (24/12/23)

Mohammed Abu Hwaidi (23/12/23)

Rizq Arrouq (22/12/23)

Muhammad Al-Saidi (22/12/23)

Adel Zorob (19/12/23)

Abdullah Alwan (18/12/23)

Haneen Ali Al-Qashtan (17/12/23)

Mashal Ayman Shahwan (16/12/23)

Assem Kamal Musa (16/12/23)

Rami Badir (15/12/23)

Ali Ashour Abu Malek (15/12/23)

Samer Abu Daqqa (15/12/23)

Khamis Hussain (15/12/23)

Ahmed Abu Abseh (13/12/23)

Hanan Ayad (13/12/23)

Narmeen Qawas (13/12/23)

Abdel Kareem Oudeh (12/12/23)

Mohammed Abu Samra (10/12/23)

Doaa al-Jabour (9/12/23)

Ola Atallah (9/12/23)

Hossam Omar Ammar (8/12/23)

Hamada Al-Yaziji (6/12/23)

Abdul Hamid Al-Qarinawi (3/12/23)

Mahmoud Salem (3/12/23)

Shaima Al-Jazzar (3/13/23)

Hassan Farajallah (3/12/23)

Hudhayfah Lulu (3/12/23)

Muhammad Farajallah (2/12/23)

Abdullah Darwish (1/12/23)

Muntaser Al-Sawwaf (1/12/23)

Marwan Al-Sawwaf (1/12/23)

Adham Hassouna (1/12/23)

Nader Al-Nazli (25/11/23)

Amal Zuhd (24/11/23)

Mostafa Bakeer (24/11/23)

Mohamed Mouyin Ayyash (23/11/23)

Mohamed Nabil Al-Zaq (21/11/23)

Assem Al-Barash (21/11/23)

Jamal Haniyeh (21/11/34)

Farah Omar (21/11/23)*

Rabih Al Maamari (21/11/23)*

Ayat Khadoura (20/11/23)

Alaa Al-Nimr

Bilal Jadallah (19/11/23)

Abdelhalim Awad (18/11/23)

Sari Mansour (18/11/23)

Hassouneh Sleem (18/11/23)

Mostafa El Sawaf (18/11/23)

Amr Salah Abu Hayah (18/11/23)

Mossab Ashour (18/11/23)

Mahmoud Matar (15/11/23)

Ahmed Fatima (13/11/23)

Yaacoub Al-Barsh (13/11/23)

Mousa Al-Barsh (12/11/23)

Ahmed Al-Qara (10/11/23)

Yahya Abu Manih (7/11/23)

Mohamed Abu Hasira (7/11/23)

Mohamed Al Jaja (5/11/23)

Haitham Harara (3/11/23)

Mohamad Al-Bayyari (2/11/23)

Mohammed Abu Hatab (2/11/23)

Majd Fadl Arandas (1/11/23)

Iyad Matar (1/11/23)

Imad Al-Wahidi (31/10/23)

Majed Kashko (31/10/23)

Nazmi Al-Nadim (30/10/23)

Yasser Abu Namous (27/10/23)

Duaa Sharaf (26/10/23)

Zaher Alafghani (25/10/23)

Jamal Al-Faq’awi (25/10/23)

Saed Al-Halabi (25/10/23)

Ahmed Abu Mahadi (25/10/23)

Salma Mkhaimer (25/10/23)

Hudhayfah Al-Najjar

Mohamed Al Hassani

Mohamed El-Shorbajei

A’ed Ismail Al-Najjar (24/10/23)

Iman Al-Aqili (24/10/23)

Mohammed Imad Labad (23/10/23)

Roshdi Al-Sarraj (22/10/23)

Mahmoud Abu Zarifa (22/10/23)

Hany Al-Madhoun (21/10/23)

Mohammed Ali (20/10/23)

Khalil Abu Aathra (19/10/23)

Sameeh Al-Nady (18/10/23)

Mohammad Balousha (17/10/23)

Issam Behar (17/10/23)

Abdulhadi Habib (16/10/23)

Yousef Maher Dawas (14/10/23)

Salam Mema (13/10/23)

Ali Nisman (13/10/23)

Husam Mubarak (13/10/23)

Issam Abdallah (13/10/23)*

Abdul Rahman Shihab (12/10/23)

Anas Abu Shamala (12/10/23)

Ahmed Shehab (12/10/23)

Mustafa Al-Naqeeb (11/10/23)

Rajab Al-Naqeeb (11/10/23)

Mohamed Fayez Abu Matar (11/10/23)

Saeed Al-Taweel (10/10/23)

Mohammed Sobh Abu Rizq (10/10/23)

Hisham Alnawajeha (10/10/23)

As’ad Shamlakh (8/10/23)

Mohammad Jarghoun (7/10/23)

Ibrahim Mohammad Lafi (7/10/23)

Mohammad Al-Salhi (7/10/23)

*lebanese journalist | could not find date of martyrdom

spent the whole day confirming all of these names and looking through multiple resources. the ones with dates are journalists who’s date of martyrdom and/or exact cause of death is stated by sources besides the government media office official list.

what did you focus on when counting down from 100 to 0? (ex-breathing, numbers, etc.)

after the countdown, when you make the affirmation, where do you focus during this time: feeling the affirmation itself, or the darkness you see when you close your eyes?

I'm sorry if this is a bit of a rambling question. I keep trying, but I'm stuck at this point…

I focus on the darkness before my eyes but you do what makes you comfortable

sometimes what may seem like an unfortunate circumstance is actually the path that’s going to lead you towards your desire.

I think I'm close to the void, but i just need to work on my self-concept a little bit more. I'll probably disabled my Tumblr acc and stop over consuming information. I've learned a lot of things in the past few months from here. and i won't give up until i achieve my dream life. cause i deserve utmost happiness 🩰🎀