This Song Has Me So Unwell

I’ll say things like “oh I’m just not in a good place mentally right now” like when have I ever been in a fucking good place mentally

Young people can have back pain. Young people can have joint pain. Young people can require a cane to get around. Young people can have memory problems. Young people can get migraines. Young people can lose their eyesight. Young people can lose their hearing. Young people can lose their teeth and require dentures. Young people can have neurological disorders. Young people can go through menopause. Young people can have heart attacks. Young people can have strokes. Young people can go through all kinds of things you think only happens to older people and they don’t deserve to be invalidated or bullied just because you have never heard of it.

When I say I prefer They/Them but you can use "She" for me, I mean it in the way you can use feminine pronouns for a ship or a piece of large machinery.

Like a poetic gendering of a genderless thing, based on vibes alone.

I am as much a woman as the massive warehouse automation system that an engineer affectionately pats while saying "she's a beauty."

I am a she in the exact same way.

"I know someone else with this disorder and they're nothing like you!!!"

Maybe that's because we're entirely separate fucking people who have lead different lives, are at different points in our life, and literally have different brains, not because I don't actually have the disorder.

I love being a women, I love calling myself a women, I love my feminity and seeing the world through the perspective of a girl, I love my radical feminism as a women and the unique experience that gives me. I love taking back my sexualization and seeing myself as beautiful as myself, in every way.

I love being a man, I love seeing the world in a new way and being excepted by male friend groups and validated, I love being masculine and strong well wearing traditionally feminine clothing, I love being able to use the masculinity that has hurt so many as a positive thing to help the world grow.

I love being non-binary, the beauty of the complexness, I can be whatever I want under the name and I can be silly about it. I can call myself gay for liking anyone, I can confuse people who hate my joy. I love to watch other queer people be filled with joy when we meet in public, both under the non-binary umbrella, joined in solidarity.

I love being genderqueer, being everything and nothing at once, calling myself what I am even if you see it as contradictory, I love not having to explain myself and just being queer. I love finding my name in every time I hear another person realize they can just call themselves queer.

I can't figure out if I'm genderqueer or nonbinary y'all 😭

Sameeeeeee

therapy was hard today

able bodied people will decide you’re not disabled over *checks notes* the shoes you wear

something that genuinely annoys me as a chronically ill person is getting constantly asked only about my health. how are you? how are you dealing with it mentally? im the same as always. this is my normal. i don't want to be constantly asked about it. cant you be interested in something else about me. not my health. ask me about what I've been doing. what am i listening to. any fun dreams ive had. it gets really depressing very fast when every single interaction with others ends up starting with your chronic illnesses.

like i know it feels fucking different to you and you with your perfect health can't even imagine how someone is living like this. but this is my life. this is my normal. and id like to get treated like im more than just my illness