There Will Always Be Reasons To Return.

Words fall from my fingertips,

in hopes that they can catch the dreams in my heart.

Because the expanse that my life is,

will not be enough to keep them alive.

So I let the words flow,

and when I can't go on anymore,

I rest my hand and dream again.

And hope to see you once more there,

where everything is as I always imagined.

With a tired sigh, you tell me that life has become pointless now and that you've forgotten how it felt to be alive. You tell me you don't know where to find the next chapter of this monotonous life of yours.

I hope you find it in between your favourite book, with pages folded that remind you of how beautiful life sometimes can be.

I hope you find it the way the flowers in your homemade pots bloom late in the afternoon, spreading a faint fragrance that people will soon come to associate you with.

I hope you find it in the sweetness of the tea that you have in the mornings, just before you walk out to meet your best friend.

I hope you find it in the warmth of your blankets at night, when the moon filters in through the open window and falls on the suncatcher beside your table.

I hope you find it in the familiar tunes of your childhood songs that always adds a little bit of yellow to your eyes.

I hope you find it in the swift winds of the early winter mornings, where the steam from your cup fogs up your glasess as you sit across and smile at the little boy who claims he is Peter Pan.

I hope you find your next chapter in all the tiny nooks and corners of the world that hides the most beautiful moments that this life can come up with.

You know where to look. But you've been looking with your heart closed.

There's a pool of sadness in my being.

And sometimes I can hear it sing.

An eerie voice lingering long after it ends.

Accompanied by ghostly visions of the past.

Sometimes it sings at dawn.

And sometimes it sings when I am asleep.

But always, always, it sings only when I am alone.

The constant hum has a blue softness.

Almost like the way my smile looks on my tired days.

But on rare days the hum becomes a vibrant violet.

And feels like the shade of the magic in my eyes.

The songs are about the things I hold in my heart.

Like the stories of my childhood times,

and the places where I left pieces of who I am.

But on nights when I can no longer fall asleep,

the songs take on a familiar tune.

They become the whispers of the restless sea,

and the slow crackling of the campfire on the shore.

It brings back the smell of the waves,

the vibrations of their crashing spreading through my bones.

For a brief moment, I become a child again.

Free to laugh and smile,

and free to sleep without the usual accompaniment of nightmares.

Even though all of this is in my head,

simply the long gone moments from my past,

the ghostly visions are what keeps me sane.

Reminding me that not always will life be so blue.

And that blue is not always so sad.

Knowing this, the pool of sadness sings on and on.

The humming taking on a sweeter tone.

© Moonyloonywitch

Honestly I don't know.

But maybe I love them because they feel like a part of me.

Like I am a puzzle and the pieces are scattered all over this world. As songs and paintings and poetry and plants. And like stars and moon and oceans and trees.

The things I love are the reflections of my soul.

Everything I've ever loved reminds me of who I once was or who I am. I love them because they feel like home. Like they are made of the same things that I was made from.

I love them simply because they make me, me.

Why do you love what you love?

There are galaxies I must conquer within your eyes.

So no matter how many times you push me away, I'll stay.

Come back with more softness and gentle tones.

Listen to the songs of each star that you hold in your eyes.

Blowing a cool breeze when the fire inside them is too hot.

You will never lose me, not now, not in a million years.

For where there are stars and stories,

There'll always be me, soft breaths and touches of love.

Until the universe collapses on itself,

I shall hold your hand and craddle you close.

I stand there like a fool lost in my thoughts.

You move away from me and just go on.

Silent screams bursts my eardrums.

But nobody hears a sound at all.

Tears fall like a broken dam,

like water rushing without an aim.

My mind have gone numb now.

And all I can see is black.

The bright spot of light is you,

and as I watch, it slowly fades away too.

Darkness is supposed to be a comfort.

But not when you've taken my heart.

A heartless body is an empty vessel,

and the dark seeps into me like spilled blood.

I can feel the cold from inside,

killing the last of the warmth within.

The embers of my fire are about to die down.

Too weak to stand up again,

I lay down and give in to the earth's embrace.

It's soft and moist.

But not warm and safe like your arms.

Before you vanish into the abyss,

turn around and dig a grave.

Bury my thoughts of you in there.

And plant a daffodil on top.

Let us go seperate ways now,

before your sighs bring me back to life again.

© Moonyloonywitch

Where Time Stands Still.

There's a chasm deep inside,

a storm I cannot ride,

A feeling somethings lost,

a church with n'er a ghost.

There's a void I cannot cross,

that is full of pain and loss,

A gap no one can fill,

a place where time stands still.

There's an aching inside me,

for the times that used to be,

For the echoes of the past,

and the dreams that could not last.

There's a yearning deep inside,

there's the feelings I can't hide,

There's the pain that's in my heart,

That is tearing me apart.

There's no place that I can find,

what is leaving me behind,

There's no words for me to say,

there's no light left in my day.

©Ambrose Harte

©Scattered Thoughts

Hold me close and sing softly about starry nights and fairy lights.

I feel really ill and all I want to do is fall asleep in your arms

I don't really know how to say this, but here goes. All I want in a medical/hospital type of drama show is for one (1) woman to choose herself over her unborn baby, just once.

Out of the maybe hundreds or more pregnant women we see in these shows, who come in after being in an accident or suffering from an illness or some sort of complication or I don't know what, I just want a single solitary woman who, when faced with the choice of risking or maybe even ending her life for the sake of getting the pregnancy to term or terminating the pregnancy to save herself, will choose the second option.

I know. I know how important carrying a child can be, how hard some need to work just to get pregnant, how hopeful and happy it makes them, how important it is and how devastatingly painful and crushing it can be to lose it. But this constant emphasis on self sacrifice for the sake of unborn children, the very obsession with the idea of birth, with a woman's "purpose" to give birth, of the implications and hinting that creating a family can or should only be achieved through pregnancy - it's A Problem.

I just want to see one woman. Just one. One woman who is sad and heartbroken at her diagnosis, but makes it clear she wants to live. She wants to survive, even if her baby won't. That if there is a choice to make, she is the more important one. She should be the one they save. Just one woman, who, when faced with the possibility of never being able to have another child, says "well that's a shame. But I always wanted to adopt anyway so I guess I'll start sooner than I thought". One woman who is okay with never having a baby, because while it was a happy occasion, it's not the only good thing in her life and not the only way for her to define herself. One woman who is more excited at the prospect of being a full-time aunt, because she already has all the children she could ever want, even if they are not "hers". Maybe even one, just one woman, who blatantly and with no regret says "you know what? It's not important enough for me to die for. Thanks but I want to live".

I just want one.

I look up to see his beautiful face.

His eyes are filled with fresh tears.

But there's a smile on his lips.

It seems so true and real.

Yet I know it's far from that.

When his voice cracks as he speaks,

a deep sadness washes over my being.

I can feel it spreading through me.

Touching every secret corner and creek.

I don't know what to do now.

Who do I take care of first, him or me?

I ask myself, as I hold his face with my shaking hands.

His tears are so warm as I wipe them away.

His smile fades and he falls onto me.

While he breaks in my arms quietly,

I let my tears fall finally.

There's only so much strength I have in me.

And I'll use every last bit to piece him back together.

Because I don't know how to be without him.

I don't know why I am, without him.

Without him, I stay a blue question mark.

With him, I'll be a warm full stop.

© Moonyloonywitch