I'll Be Real It Sounds Like Jean Wrote It Himself.

Hey what if we were both depressed young teenage boys with no sense of self-worth pushed forward by a single-minded drive that was born in october from our mother' deaths and we both severely repressed our childish interests in order to seem more mature and respectable so that the older people around us wouldn't try to stop us from doing what we have to do in order to make everything feel right again because they could never understand it (because we don't let them try to) and we put the brunt of the blame on an older male figure who has to be responsible for it all and should only receive unilateral scorn because otherwise nothing in our lives would make sense anymore and we were both child soldiers who only joined in order to pursue our own self-destructive goals more easily and we both liked to use spears, would that be fucked up or what ?

october 3rd. october 4th. same thing

Huh.

am taking perverse pleasure in reminding people it's 2025. that's a star trek year. silly little science fiction number. except it's happening, and DANG ain't it underwhelming!

Also was that a mcfucking fire punch reference

Big spoilers for an optional and fairly hidden area in SOTE ahead !

Holy fucking shit midra is so fucking cool

The abyssal woods have the creepiest ambience out of any game since bloodborne's cathedral ward imo, loved every bit of it. My only complaint is they are a bit too big and kinda feel empty as a result. Other than that, the winter lanterns, the in-game messages and the music are a 10/10 for me.

Midra's manse is wonderfully creepy, with its labyrinthine halls that loop back into each other and hidden passageways behind paintings. The enemy selection was very fitting, going from spectral inhabitants and guardians to a veritable legion of inquisitors, probably the ones responsible for midra's current state if you ask me.

And oh my goodness that boss. That was honestly my favorite boss of the entire game. No bullshit, no endless combos, no ludicrous delays, just an overall great boss. It's up there with lady maria as one of my fav fromsoft bosses tbh. The fight feels so smooth, elegant, its just a banger all around. The ost is also just peak. I also love that little introductory part where you just beat an old wounded man for a minute before the fight starts, its that little fromsoftware goofyness in the middle of this daunting dreary place, i love it.

Overall, one of the best dlc areas so far for me, the build up, the dungeon and the boss were all brilliant.

My biggest criticism is the remembrance. The greatsword of damnation should have been a madness weapon tbh, it would have felt much more fitting. Its also a bit sad that we don't get midra's drip, it would have been great if they did sth like the dragon hearts or lamenter's visage where you use an item to get the frenzy head and boost madness incantations/skills. That incantation is pretty cool though.

How awkward do you think this interaction was ?

After a bit of time and a hefty amount of thinking abt the lore, SOTE really brings this post to my mind.

It's like. Miquella did love Malenia and Godwyn, but couldnt cure them the way he was. He did want to better the world, but it didnt help him as he retraced his mother's footsteps.

Midra did love, and was loved, he endured for ages in memory of the love he shared with Nanaya, and her entreaty. This didnt stop the inquisitors from ramming the sword of damnation through his throat.

Messmer did love his mother, and he obviously cared for her people. He cared for his knights, even when they betrayed him. He even seems to have cared about the hornsent in some capacity, judging by the amount of hornsent culture that remains preserved in the storehouse. And yet, despite all that, he still is responsible for the slaughter, and utter genocide the hornsent suffered. He still couldnt save the jar saints. He still couldnt get his mother to answer his pleas.

Marika did love Messmer. The amount of blessings she gave him is proof enough. She did love him, but it didnt prevent her from sending him on an endless crusade.

Marika loved her people. It didnt matter.

"Marika bathed the village of her home in gold, knowing full well that there was no one left to heal." "What was her prayer ? Her wish, her confession ? There is no one left to answer, and Marika never returned home again."

By the way, small addendum that is only somewhat related bc i dont want to make a full post abt it

The shaman village ost is the elden beast theme with only the harp, without the grandiose melody.

"Only the kindness of Gold, without Order."

Also, sorry more Leda posting, the line "Have you been taken in by the plight of the hornsent? Foolish… But hardly unexpected. Man is a compassionate animal, for better or worse." fascinates me so... there's no justification there, if anything she acknowledges that what she's doing in attempting to kill the hornsent is the bad, the non-compassionate thing to do. And from other lines we know she feels empathy, respect, regret, the "weight of one’s deeds"... She may be overly paranoid and violent and murderous, but it's not that she's without emotion, she's just capable of entirely steeling herself against those emotions. She'll carry those burdens willingly, Miquella's dogged blade, so he needn't sully his hands.

Although at the same time... she's so arrogant about all of it, to presume she knows Miquella's will better than anyone else! She has the authority to say who is or isn't undeserving of serving under him, and she has the power to execute the ones she judges dangerous. When I honestly can't imagine that Miquella, at least previously to shedding everything that made him himself, would've approved of any of that. She would never betray him, true, but there's a reason he still put a charm on her as well (and I kinda have to wonder what the reason he kept her around at all was...)

Uhhhhh- so anyways-

Age Headcanons for SOTE NPCs; A Senseless List

A reminder that this is purely for fun and makes no claim for or against canon. This is merely a collection of headcanons and vague vibes, enjoy.

Leda: For this post, let's count biological age and not weird-resurection-ages. To me, Leda seems to be around 25-28. Old enough to have lost her naivety for the world, but young enough to keep the pedestal she's placed Miquella upon. She's an adult, sure, but I'd hardly say she's reached her full abilities. If Miquella had succeeded, she certainly would have matured into a vicious killer with decades of battle experience.

Freyja: This redmane has left her years of doe-eyes and frilly bows long behind. She's an easy 38, cool and confident in her body and her lifestyle. Sure, she's noticed the faint lines that have started to form on her brow but- eh- who cares? She'll keep doing what she's always done. To her, age really is just a number.

Dryleaf Dane: The martial arts know no age limit. 20, 30, 60- only the dedication of the mind and body matters in the pursuit of perfection. Dane has seen it all in his eventful 50-ish years of life, and his fighting style reflects that. It's his reserved demeanor and silent loyalty that make him a perfect balance for the cynical Leda. To whom he likens himself as both a friend and mentor. Honestly, he appreciates her youthful fervor and often finds himself considering her something like a daughter.

The Hornsent: He's 40. 40 what? Just 40, as far as he'd ever tell you anyhow. A trusting man he is not, even with the simplicities of sharing one's true age. Such pointless talking points are for truer friends and family, of which the hornsent has none. Perhaps under the guidance of Kindly Miquella, he might one day celebrate another year of life lived in vengeance. For now, however, the memory only fills him with a deep and singular loneliness...

Igon: Drake Warriors aren't known for living long lives, and hunters of all kinds are known for it even less. Igon is the exception. Without the magics of the land of shadow, he would be about 42. An impressive age to reach, for one in his line of work. Although the lack of care he gives to his own appearance would lead one to believe he was much older.

Sir Ansbach: GILF lovers rejoice, this man is easily the oldest npc on our list today. I would say Ansbach is dutifully vague about his true age. While it may amuse him to give the true number, and watch the flicker of awe for his agility cross his companions' face, he remains aware that giving his real age is a disadvantage should things turn south. On one hand, it may cause him to be targeted by those unaware of his skill. An easy problem to solve, if not overly tiresome. On the other, it endangers on a more... emotional level. He cannot risk his allies putting his safety over their own on such a baseless reason as his advanced age. He is SIR Ansbach, after all. What sort of man, as both mentor and knight, could abide by such an obvious danger to his juniors? Not he, that is certain, and so his many decades remain a mystery (although they certainly number more than Dane's)

Thiollier: Awkward, skinny, and chronically anxious. Thiollier reads as young, very young. He's most certainly the baby of the group, even if most of the others don't treat him differently for it. After all, they must likely assume him only a few years younger than Leda. They all began their lives as warriors, scholars, and missionaries at a similar age. So to them it matters very little how old their resident perfumer is. Freyja assumes he is 22, the Hornsent suspects him little older than 17, and only the Tarnished and Sir Ansbach know he is - truthfully- somewhere in between.

Moore: It is difficult to place Moore, since he is kin to the Pests and therefore likely a different race/species category for biological age. However, I would say that Moore is somewhat youthful, based upon his naivety. Likely, he is in between Thiollier and Leda in age - when the years between Pest kin and Tarnished are converted. Mid-20s seems an appropriate range for Moore.

Aaaannnd that's all I have for now! If you have different headcanons on sote npc ages, or npc headcanons in general, pls feel free to share! I love reading comments and seeing different (and similar) perspectives on Elden Ring characters!

Anyways, thanks for reading! This was a fun way to kill time lol >D

Happy 10th bloodborne anniversary everyone ! On a scale of 1 to "sony lost the source code" how are we feeling ?

as a phrase, “she [x] on my [x] til’ i [x]” only is funny if on either side of a spectrum. either the phrase ends so specific to a sexual action it’s a smart joke (for example, “she strogan me off til i beef” uses the word “beef stroganoff’ but also makes a “stroking off” joke, making it clever wordplay.) or it makes so little sense that it ends up funny from the absurdity of deciphering what type of sexual action could even be taking place. (example: when my roomate the other night asked to hand them a sanpelligrino and then said “she san on my pelli til’ i grino” which begs the question of what ‘sanning’ is, what a ‘pelli’ repersents in terms of human genitalia and what ‘grinoing’ could possibly be.)