November Nutshell

just realised i don't know any female artists other than frida kahlo, in all my time of studying fine art she was the only woman. if that isn't crazy idk what is

2am, sweater weather, french, books, pastel flower patterned curtains, a moonless night, warm candlelight, artwork tacked onto walls, materials strewn across the floor, grey furry rugs, white furniture with silver hardware, 3 white walls and a single sage green, antique jewellery boxes from my grandma, memory box on my bedside table, rings and chokers, earrings and necklaces, nail files, jade rollers, makeup brushes, matte lipstick

april anxiety (among additional activities)

Thursday 23rd April 2023 - 7:32pm

Alliteration! so stuffs gone down this month lol!!! i'm not doing so well right now but i think collecting my thoughts and letting 52 people read them is a fun way of coping. i'm really behind on school work, like half a year behind due to constantly being ill. if i don't catch up i was told i might have to sit AS-Level Sociology (40% of an A-level) which means in turn that i'd have to stay in school for an extra year sitting another subject not of my choice. they want a meeting aswell which really really really can't happen currently, i don't have school equipment but hopefully i can pull through?!?!?! idk maybe things will get better soon until next time! Amina

ps - this has been sitting in my drafts and its now june... idk how that happened

coming back from ncs (week one) [pt 2]

in case you haven't read pt 1 i hate that i cant post it at once. but carrying on! thursday was definitely the most interesting, watersports was the main event, canoeing and rafting, i almost drowned (i'll get back to that) . so first off we went rafting and just waded around the quarry while also panicking and failing to row away from our other demonic friends, got soaked after having water flicked at us and then row back to shore. everyone was screaming and it was terrifying but amazing. we were getting ambushed and had more water flicked at us as we got onto the canoes, there was a conga line with all 200 people in the marquee and big talent show where i sat next to who im calling bracelet boy (i realised how much i actually liked him after he snapped my glowstick bracelet and my cheeks burst into flame) , i made my first moves towards bracelet boy and accidentally accumulated a squad of wingmen including my ATL.

i probably could've written a whole post about thursday night by itself. i snuck out with two of my best wingmen and we went stargazing and listened to music in the night, i had nettle stings all over my legs and our cameras couldn't pick up the stars but i wouldn't change a thing. we were tucked away in the corner of the campsite in the dark and whenever we saw a flashlight we turned everything off and lied down in the grass while trying not to laugh. at one point we thought we saw boys sneak out of the tents and went to go check which was such an adrenaline rush, upon approaching we heard the voice of a stern staff member and started running, a flashlight quickly approaching and i tripped and grazed my knee but kept running which we laughed about as soon as we got into one of the tents. it was the most exhilarating thing i have ever done.

friday i talked to bracelet boy more and packed away, socialised, play games and made more friends, we took group pictures and i got bracelets insta (i'm screaming internally i've never liked someone so much). he's adorable (is that the right word to describe someone twice your height?) and said our final goodbyes as we got ready to go.

i would do anything to go back. it felt like something out of a dream.

there's so many things that i probably missed but i'll likely come back and edit this post later that's all for now! ~ Amimi

[ Mon, 1st August - 20:27] [ i think i lost the glowstick bracelet :( but i plan on making him a bracelet for when i confess ]

reading this gave me physical pain, doing the exam on wednesday and this is just going to be on repeat in the back of my mind

English teachers, You either did something incredibly right or incredibly wrong when teaching A Christmas Carol in GCSE English because there is 34 works under the tag Jacob Marley/Ebenezer Scrooge on ao3. A few of them are tagged with references to GCSEs.

april anniversaire (always awful)

anniversaire = bday en francais oui oui mon francais est progression (yes yes my french is improving) i have my official french speaking exam in 4 days

i'm not prepared. i hope i can grind some revision and get a B. it was bday on the 15th! sweet 16! i had a nice countdown with friends and nice messages and wishes. otherwise, a pretty normal day i think lack of confidence is my fatal flaw similar to that of macbeths "vaulting ambition" being his hamartia. i'll ttyl! - Amimi

messing up every relationship with another human being i have out of self hatred check

subway cookie supremacy

i miss when new years was exciting

giving me ideas on how to ruin statues rn

In the town where I grew up, there was a large statue in one of the parks, of a famous historical white colonizer. I'm not going to say who specifically, suffice it to say that it was someone who wasn't worth memorializing for their deeds. And as you can imagine, this statue was a frequent target of vandalism, with paint or toilet paper or eggs on multiple occasions. Now, the local council was generally pretty lax when it came to repairing potholes or other public damage in the town, but every time, 24 hours after this particular statue was hit, the same person would always appear in a Hi-Vis vest, hat, mask and sunglasses, carrying a bucket of water, and wash it clean. They would do it as quickly as possible, but always made sure the face and the name carved at the bottom were generously scrubbed. This only encouraged people to do it again, and so it became a vicious cycle.

Within a year, the statue had sustained so much damage that it was unrecognizable and the lettering unreadable, so eventually the council came and took it down. Also apparently, the person in the Hi-Vis vest didn't even work for the council. They were supposedly just some 'good samaritan' who cleaned it, often before the council even discovered it needed cleaning, so they just let them do it and ignored the problem. They didn't bother putting the statue up again.

Much later, we found out that the anonymous 'samaritan' had been deliberately washing the statue with a bucket of saltwater, which had dramatically corroded it, causing irreversible accumulative damage far worse than spray paint ever would have done. It's even theorized that they were also often the one spray-painting it, just so that they had an excuse to come back after a day to wash it.