A Disabled Woman Fell On The Bus I'm On And I'm Literally The Only One Who Listened To Her And Didn't

My husband and I became catechumens in the EOC for which we are incredibly grateful. Here’s my dilemma though.

I can’t attend Divine Liturgy because of my chronic illness. The priest is very understanding of this and is genuinely trying to accommodate us the best anyone can.

He wants us to get plugged into the community despite my limitations and is thinking of safe ways for us to do so, since I am immunocompromised and my husband (who has lupus) is also facing potential new health concerns. Though we want community as well, I am having debilitating anxiety around it.

My illness is so unpredictable. I have good days and bad days. Some days, I need my wheelchair or another mobility aid (which I don’t like using because I don’t like being vulnerable but I NEED to use them for safety and/or energy preservation). But other days, I do not need anything. Chronic illness has SO MANY facets and triggers and layers of unpredictability! In the past, many people (mostly people from our old church) have accused me of faking my disability when they’ve seen me on a good day, or when they’ve seen me without a mobility aid after needing one a previous day. They’ve told me I’m making excuses, that I’m faking for attention, etc.

No one but my husband ever sees the “details” of my chronic illness, after all. They don’t see me when I’m curled up all night on the bathroom floor bc of gastroparesis agonizing and crying for it all to end, or being SO extremely fatigued due to POTS that I can’t move a limb out of bed. They didn’t see me when I fell that morning which warranted me using my rollator for the rest of the day to prevent another concussion. They don’t see the painful internal struggle of trying to walk in the summer heat without support. Anyone with a chronic illness can relate!

People from my last church (not an OC) said hurtful things and more and told me I’m going to hell for a number of reasons- because I don’t have kids, because I don’t go to church on Sundays etc. i had poured my soul into that parish. Then, everyone left. We felt abandoned.

This served as the catalyst to question our faith -tradition, theology, and everything- and ultimately, everything came together to lead us to Orthodoxy which is a HUGE blessing! But I’m just SO EMOTIONAL because though I’m more than ready to embrace the fullness of faith and the Sacraments when the time comes, I don’t think I can ever be a part of a community.

It’s exhausting to have to try to explain the ins- and- outs of my illness to new people, many of whom wouldn’t even believe me. And I just don’t want to get hurt again. I know it’s wrong of me to assume that every new person I meet will eventually judge me and leave, but that’s just what we’ve consistently experienced. That’s all we know. I have a small circle of friends, and I’ve known all of them for many years - those friendships have stood the test of time and I’m grateful for them.

I honestly don’t know why I’m making this dumb post. I’m not trying to throw myself a pity party, I just need a place to vent and let it all out. I’m also just in a totally bad headspace right now and my anxiety levels overall are insanely high with my husband preparing for a high stakes surgery in a few days and me having side effects from the rescue medication I had to take last night. But if you’re reading this and have any advice, please tell me. And please pray for us. Please pray for peace and healing in our lives, spiritually, physically, and emotionally. Please pray that i can stop myself from spiraling into depression - I can feel it happening. I feel like a burden to my husband and the few friends I have and the devil is probably angry that I made the decision to become a catechumen. Please pray that we can find joy this Pascha, even though we are separated from the Church, knowing that we rejoice in Jesus’s resurrection. The pain runs deep but His love runs deeper.

Thank you. 🤍

Adult diapers are for disabled people. Full stop. That is what and who they are for. They are for disabled people who need to wear them because of their disabilities. They don't exist for kink. If someone is using them for kink that is not the fucking fault of disabled people. Stop acting like every adult who wears a diaper is disgusting. You're disgusting for assuming that over what the diaper was fucking made for. Grow the fuck up. Someday you'll lose control of your bladder and bowels too.

So many people wouldn’t have asthma in the first place if it wasn’t for these corporations…Shifting blame from actual culprits to people with asthma (and people who can’t help but use plastic straws at that) is peak capitalism.

I saw a post saying that stimulants for ADHD are life saving medications because they reduce car crashes and while stimulants are very important for people with ADHD they just... aren't life saving.

some medications you will die without. stimulants for ADHD are not on that list.

when other disabled people talk about life saving medication we don't just mean "very important" we mean "life saving"

I would die of organ failure caused by inflammation from lupus if I didn't have my biologic. diabetics would die of diabetic ketoacidosis without insulin. people with asthma would suffocate to death without their inhalers. that is what it means to have a life saving medication.

you can emphasize the importance of a medication without comparing it to truly life saving medications. it just comes across really insensitive when you compare lower risk of car crashes to guaranteed death without a medication

like, the shortage of stimulants is absolutely detrimental to people with ADHD but it's not comparable to a shortage of a life saving medication. without a stimulant people with ADHD would still live, without insulin diabetics would die. when stimulant prices are inflated and people can't access them it is hard but it does not equate to death. when people with life threatening autoimmune diseases can't afford their medication it does equate to death.

if you want to talk about the importance of stimulants for people with ADHD and the negative effects of the shortage that's great! but refer to the medication correctly- it's life changing, it's not life saving

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@fishdavidson in Disabled Hardcore Life community

I'm running a survey for my graduate thesis at Delta State University about how social friction is perceived in interactions between disable

This is an archive link of a previous post I made on January 23, 2025, so I can grab the link for citation and inclusion in thesis appendices. If the link doesn't display the text or you aren't a member of the community in which it was posted, this is what it said:

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I'm running a survey for my graduate thesis at Delta State University about how social friction is perceived in interactions between disabled and able-bodied people. The survey probably takes about 15-20 minutes to complete, and I'm looking for respondents from individuals 18 or older who identify as disabled or partially-disabled. If you've already completed the survey, you don't need to do it again. As an incentive for participation, there's an optional raffle that you can participate in for the chance to win an Amazon gift card. Both the survey and the raffle are open to individuals outside the US!

"Let Me Get That For You": Analyzing Frictional Situations in a Disability Context (via Google Forms)

Thank you everyone who has participated in the survey so far, and special thanks to the people who helped identify places where the survey could be improved!

This research survey has received approval (IRB number 2025-037) from Delta State's Institutional Review Board.

wheelchair users deserve a minimum of three wheelchairs to meet different needs. like, bare minimum of indoor chair, outdoor chair, and off road chair. chairs that meet different needs for transport, activity, positioning needs, energy levels, etc.

there is not "one chair" that can meet every need. wheelchair users deserve to have multiple chairs that meet specific needs, no matter how complex their seating/positioning needs. we deserve to at least have a backup if our chair breaks that is just as suited to our needs.

I found an extremely dope disability survival guide for those who are homebound, bedbound, in need of disability accommodations, or would otherwise like resources for how to manage your life as a disabled person. (Link is safe)

How to Get On

How to Get On

How to have a great, disabled life.

It has some great articles and resources and while written by people with ME/CFS, it keeps all disabilities in mind. A lot of it is specific to the USA but even if you're from somewhere else, there are many guides that can still help you. Some really good ones are:

How to live a great disabled life- A guide full of resources to make your life easier and probably the best place to start (including links to some of the below resources). Everything from applying for good quality affordable housing to getting free transportation, affordable medication, how to get enough food stamps, how to get a free phone that doesn't suck, how to find housemates and caregivers, how to be homebound, support groups and Facebook pages (including for specific illnesses), how to help with social change from home, and so many more.

Turning a "no" into a "yes"- A guide on what to say when denied for disability aid/accommodations of many types, particularly over the phone. "Never take no for an answer over the phone. If you have not been turned down in writing, you have not been turned down. Period."

How to be poor in America- A very expansive and helpful guide including things from a directory to find your nearest food bank to resources for getting free home modifications, how to get cheap or free eye and dental care, extremely cheap internet, and financial assistance with vet bills

How to be homebound- This is pretty helpful even if you're not homebound. It includes guides on how to save spoons, getting free and low cost transportation, disability resources in your area, home meals, how to have fun/keep busy while in bed, and a severe bedbound activity master list which includes a link to an audio version of the list on Soundcloud

Master List of Disability Accommodation Letters For Housing- Guides on how to request accommodations and housing as well as your rights, laws, and prewritten sample letters to help you get whatever you need. Includes information on how to request additional bedrooms, stop evictions, request meetings via phone, mail, and email if you can't in person, what you can do if a request is denied, and many other helpful guides

Special Laws to Help Domestic Violence Survivors (Vouchers & Low Income Housing)- Protections, laws, and housing rights for survivors of DV (any gender), and how to get support and protection under the VAWA laws to help you and/or loved ones receive housing and assistance

Dealing With Debt & Disability- Information to assist with debt including student loans, medical debt, how to deal with debt collectors as well as an article with a step by step guide that helped the author cut her overwhelming medical bills by 80%!

There are so many more articles, guides, and tools here that have helped a lot of people. And there are a lot of rights, resources, and protections that people don't know they have and guides that can help you manage your life as a disabled person regardless of income, energy levels, and other factors.

Please boost!

Cosplayers, please don’t forget about those of us with disabilities at cons. Don’t push that walker or wheelchair out the way in artist’s alley because the owner of it isn’t touching it. Don’t give people funny looks for standing without their aids while they’re looking at things. Don’t get angry at the wheelchair user who has no choice but to go past your photographer because you’re taking up the entire space. Don’t kick out other cosplayers mobility aids. Keep space around you for disabled people, because we exist in your community and we just want to have fun like you do.

A guide to designing wheelchair using characters!

I hope this helps anyone who's trying to design their oc using a wheelchair, it's not a complete guide but I tried my best! deffo do more research if you're writing them as a character