I LIED !!!! GET PRANKED

here is a fun little star wars scenario that has been pinging around inside my head like a screensaver:

so let’s say there’s some very zealous, very low-ranking fresh young Imperial officer on duty the day they take the Senator from Alderaan into custody. 

and he is very very nervous because a) he’s been here for like a week and b) none of that week required him to be in a room with Darth Vader. which he now is. so he is trying to focus very very hard on Doing Everything Exactly According To Protocol, as a means of not focusing on the seven-foot evil wizard standing fifteen feet away.

and part of the protocol for processing new prisoners is to make a new file for them in the prisoner database, and enter all their biographical details and vital statistics and a gene sample and their known associates and the nature of their terrible crimes against the Empire and so on. which he does! very meticulously!

except the computer keeps throwing an error message. the stupid thing keeps beeping at him, this awful grating little noise that makes his shoulders ratchet up tighter and tighter every time it honks at him, and he can’t fix it and Darth Vader is right over there—

except oh god oh fuck the beeping noise must be annoying Darth Vader, too, because he’s coming over here and our poor junior officer is convinced he’s going to die before he even lives long enough to send his first paycheck home to his poor widowed mother —

he stammers out an apology. Vader just stares at him. he swears he’ll figure out the problem right away, sir, it’s probably a bug in the system, it’s just that for some silly reason it keeps saying this gene sample doesn’t match the one on file for the Senator so he can’t get her logged as a new prisoner just yet —

“Dismissed,” says Vader. the poor kid flees, gratefully.

Vader considers the matter. in fact, his underling was correct: the gene sample, which he saw taken through his very own helmet lenses, does not match the official record of Senator Leia Organa, heir to the throne of Alderaan. so: perhaps the sample on record was falsified. not impossible, but very, very difficult. and ordinarily a crime attempted by the lowly and desperate. he cannot see any need for it, in the daughter of a queen.

another possibility presents itself. Alderaan has no history of using royal doubles, as some worlds do. but Bail Organa has worked closely with royal houses where the practice is long-established. perhaps he was inspired. perhaps the girl they captured is not Leia Organa at all.

Vader runs the gene sample against the ship’s database. it is woefully incomplete, of course, containing only a fraction of the Empire’s billions of citizens: the ship’s own complement, a selection of known criminals and Rebels they might encounter, high-ranking officials whose identity must be confirmed should the Emperor require their presence. unlikely that this girl, whoever she is, would have a record here, or even a partial match—

the computer beeps at him. it’s a cheerful beep, this time, not the error message that stymied the junior officer. the computer reports that the gene sample is a partial match for Pooja Naberrie, the Senator from Naboo. they are, with eighty-nine percent probability, first cousins.

and Vader just. kind of stands there. for a minute.

when he goes to Leia’s cell, there’s no interrogation droid with him. he goes in. he shuts the door behind him. he stands there, silent, for frankly a worryingly long time, until Leia has run through her entire stockpile of  “how dare you, I’m a member of the Senate on a humanitarian mission” and “whatever you want, you can’t possibly think I would be of any help” and “well, if you’re going to interrogate me, get on with it already” and “are you even listening to me?” and  falls silent herself. 

Vader has been listening to her. he has also been listening to the Force, which seems to think that she’s not lying. obviously the humanitarian mission part is bullshit, that goes without saying. but the “I’m Senator Leia Organa” parts and the “I won’t help you” parts? yeah. he searched his feelings. he knows them to be true. the Force is singing in his head, bright and clear, in a way it hasn’t for nearly twenty years.

there’s still Tarkin to deal with, though. Vader turns and leaves the cell without a word.

Tarkin wants to blow up Alderaan. this is unacceptable, obviously, and Vader forbids it on the grounds that the Queen and the Viceroy possess vital intelligence, not disclosed to their daughter, that must be acquired. said intelligence being, not that he’s saying this out loud, how the fuck Bail got his hands on his daughter, and who else knows about it.

“the fate of the galaxy rests on it,” is what he does say out loud. from the way the Force harmonizes with his words, that might even be true.

so the Death Star just. parks there. in an incredibly threatening orbit around the planet. they issue a demand that the Organas surrender themselves, or else, but apparently the happy couple just left for a low-tech weekend retreat in the mountains, what awful timing, they’re sending someone to fetch them right away. Vader shuts himself up in his quarters, to seethe and watch the surveillance feed from Leia’s cell. he’s not really paying attention to much else. 

and it’s not like a random freighter getting tractored in for being an incredibly obvious smuggling vessel is the kind of thing you’d alert Darth Vader over, anyway. 

so he’s still sitting there, one great big thought filling up his whole entire head, watching Leia take a frustration nap, when her cell door opens. 

and a trooper comes in.

and the trooper takes off his helmet.

and he says, “I’m Luke Skywalker. I’m here to rescue you.”

(continued here)

If you think for one moment that I’m gonna believe that Season One Starscream is the exact same character as Season Two Starscream, you are sorely mistaken.

“And now we stand here together as one, proving that we all have the power to transform, to become who we were destined to be, to right wrongs and to make our world better because here freedom and autonomy are the rights of all sentient beings, here all are truly Autobots!”

- Optimus Prime

From a list of some funky animals I like lol

Favorite bird genre has got to be 'that's literally just a dinosaur'

Groove-Billed Ani

Hoatzin

Pheasant Coucal

Demon and Celestial beings Courting

Kidnapping

It was very used in the old times to kidnap the person a demon wanted to court, but in modern times that’s seen as a barbaric method and it has been changed quite a bit.

Demon courting human:

Demons will just ask their human partner to spend 1-2 weeks with them in a remote location, or just far enough away from populated areas. 

Demon courting demon:

Demon A will either ask the family of Demon B if they can spend time alone with their love interest (promising to return if Demon B asks them to) or Demon A will do the same thing demons do with humans.

Courtship fights

Another thing really practiced outside of kidnaping is fights. The demon will either fight someone close to their love interest or fight their lover. This is the same for demons courting humans or other demons, and the fights are just merely excuses to show off how strong one can be in front of their love interest.

Courtship bracelets

Despite the name, courtship objects are not limited to bracelets or jewels and can vary from species to species.

Bird demons and water demons will often make objects with things they think are pretty. Like making a painting of scenery that they think their lover likes or that made them think of them, or necklaces made out of stones found in riverbeds.

Spider demons and a few other bug demons will weave silk or laces to gift to their love interest. The laces in particular can be woven to make strong armors or even magical artifacts. Sometimes these demons will also bring food with them but it’s usually simple things like pastries or homemade tea or honey.

Monkey demons, a few varieties of bird demons and onis will either make courtship bracelets, sing or perform a particular dance for their partners.

Predatory demons like lions, leopards, cougars and so on will make lavish meals, sometimes they even hunt or gather the resources they need themselves.

Dragons will gift scrolls containing incredible knowledge, magic artifacts, or just poetry. If the poetry is written by the gifter themselves, it’s seen as even more important than a scroll. A few types of dragons and water demons known as “ Jiaoren “ can also cry pearls and spin a type of raw silk known as “Jiaoxioa” which are also used as courting gifts.

But even when a demon gifts a courtship bracelet, jewels that were made by the demon who’s proposing are seen as more important than really expensive ones. Even when they are made of poor or simple materials like wood, copper, or even just cotton.

Nesting and other habits

The use of making nests was created because demons of old times used to live in caves for the most part and the nest were specifically made for the babies, so they wouldn’t get hurt in the rough floor, or for couples.

Nowadays, nesting is also used to show platonic affection and to comfort someone. Even just friends can join a nest as long as they were invited first.

However, nesting is not something that every demon does. Spider demons are especially contrary to them because they are used to using webs to catch their prays, and to them, a nest feels like a trap. Dragons and other cold-blooded demons prefer burrowing instead of nesting. which sometimes just results in them covering themselves with heavy blankets and pillows.

Another well-known habit is “markings”. Markings can be done in a variety of ways and don’t have to be necessarily a sexual thing, but they are still considered something that requires permission from both parties and is seen as illegal to do them without permission.

There are way more habits and customs than the ones I’ve listed, but they are very specific and change from species to species.

If you have ideas or theories please share them and I will add them to this post.

Edit: Some information regarding Jiaoren has been added

Fingal's Cave is a geological formation located on the uninhabited island of Staffa, in the Inner Hebrides of Scotland.

It is known for its extraordinary structure of hexagonal basalt columns, which were formed from rapidly cooled volcanic lava millions of years ago. The cave is approximately 72 meters long and is notable for its natural acoustics, giving it a cathedral-like quality.

reblog if you have skilled writer friends and you're damn proud of them