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Latest Posts by flockofcrows100 - Page 4
So I'm fully in a Transformers Prime binge rewatch and holy SMOKES I did not remember how gay this show was. Like obviously Starscream is twinktown central and Knockout is very flamboyant, yes--but Megatron is so obsessed with Optimus (and vice versa) it's not even funny! Here's a compilation of the best moments from *just the first half of S1*:
Megatron returns after who knows how long and one of the first things out of his mouth is "No one rids me of Optimus Prime except me!!"
Megatron "dies" and Optimus is immediately depressed to the point where Ratchet asks about it and unlocks Sad Reminiscing
The Autobots are trying to figure out what the Decepticons are up to and Optimus starts with "Starscream is no Megatron, but--" just say you miss him
Megatron is literally comatose and his coma dream is him and Optimus fighting over and over again. Optimus just keeps respawning. Bro is LITERALLY living in his head rent free
In fact when Bumblebee gets inside Megatron's head Optimus is literally the First Thing he sees
Why is Bee in there? Because Optimus is deathly sick! And one of the only things that rouses Optimus from his nearly catatonic state? Learning Megatron is alive!
Megatron is also the only one who has the knowledge to save him so now they're both on their deathbeds together and their fates are linked etc. etc.
Bumblebee gets the info he needs by telling Megatron that if he doesn't give them the cure, Optimus will die (and Megatron will therefore not get to kill him)
Megatron (who had figured out this was all about Optimus before Bee even told him): "After our deep history together, to NOT watch the spark ebb from his eyes with my very own...well played, Scout." And then he gives him the cure
Starscream is about to kill Optimus and Megatron--as the FIRST thing he does after getting out of his coma--literally knocks him out of the sky, saves Optimus's life (priorities), and completely lets Optimus go. Which brings the Deliberately Saving Optimus's Life count up to 2!
Will add on as the show continues, but this is just like. 14 episodes in. At this point, forget allegations, they've been fully tried and convicted lol
Average transformers g1 episode:
Megatron is attempting to black out the entire sky across a hundred mile radius and funnel all the sunlight into one, concentrated solar death ray to target a heavy duty solar panel he's having soundwave and the cassetticons build in order to convert it to energon. Then he plans to hit the autobot base with the death ray just for funsies. Starscream plans to push Megatron directly into the death ray, also just for funsies.
Optimus sends Wheeljack and Spike to deal with it, along with two bots you're pretty sure have not been in this show before this point, but you're kind of past asking how many of these fuckers were on the ark offscreen when it crashed. One of them has the worst fake Canadian accent you have ever heard, and the other's name sounds inexplicably dirty.
Starscream tries to get Megatron to stand in the spot he told Skywarp and Ramjet to direct the death ray, but is interrupted when Rumble asks why Starscream stuck him with extra work (a task Megatron assigned specifically to Starscream). This vexes Megatron. The autobots show up and try to figure out what the point of the blacked out sky is while Starscream attempts to talk his way out of it. Then the death ray goes off two feet away from Megatron, which only pisses him off further.
The Canadian bot yells "AH BINARY-BEAVERS!!" because the death ray caught him off guard and completely gives away the bots' position. Soundwave immediately fires on them. Gratuitous robot violence ensues. Spike is generally useless and tries chucking rocks at Rumble. Megatron is too busy trying to almost-murder Starscream to bother with the autobots and just lets Soundwave handle it.
Probably-an-innuendo-name-bot is luckily a flier and takes the chance to see what's blocking the sun now that their cover's blown anyway. He gets up there and the seekers are sticking tinfoil on the clouds to make the tops reflective. The writers are really just hoping you don't think too hard about it.
Skywarp starts firing on dirty-name and calls him a nerd. Dirty-name takes evasive action. Skywarp runs out of ammo and starts just chucking tin foil at him. Dirty-name calls him dumb and says his processor is made of spare toaster parts. Then he crash lands and canada-bot asks if dirty-name's wings are spare toaster parts as well. Wheeljack yells that they'll all be spare toaster parts if they don't focus on the decepticons. The death ray goes off again and barely misses the autobots. Wheeljack corrects himself to Melted spare toaster parts.
Dirty-name gives Wheeljack the rundown on the tinfoil clouds so he can figure out a way to get rid of them while Canada-bot fights Soundwave and the cassettes in the background. Spike is kind of helping too sort of almost. Those rocks hes chucking sure are damaging. Ravage gets straight up drop kicked. It cuts back to Wheeljack whipping up a good old fashioned Device™️.
Starscream flies up past the tinfoil barrier while Megatron shoots at him. All the holes he's shooting in the blackout barrier are just making more, slightly shittier death rays and the main one is losing concentration. One of them hits Megatron right in the optic and he keels over with an over the top screech. Starscream descends, breaking another hole in the tinfoil to see a golden opportunity.
"MEGATRON HAS BEEN BLINDED!!! I, STARSCREAM AM NOW YOUR LEADER!!!"
Wheeljack finishes his Device™️: A grenade that makes tinfoil entirely invisible, thus rendering the whole weapon unusable. The writers are hungover, please do not think about it too hard. Pretty please. Dirty-name doesn't know if he can throw it into one of the holes in the barrier on his own since he can't fly in robot mode and he cant throw in altmode. Spike offers to get on his back and throw it in for him if he can get close enough. And he's just SO good at throwing things. The other two agree he's their best shot, they're so happy spike is around, couldn't do it without him.
Starscream is hovering in the air as he gives his Decepticon Leader Acceptance Speech he's prepared for this very occasion, golden light streaming in from the him-shaped hole in the barrier. Dirty-name and spike zip past him and spike makes the best goddamn throw of his life. Before starscream can properly question the Fucking Audacity of these autobots interrupting him while he's trying to have a moment, the invisible explosion goes off that the animators are just happy they don't have to put that much effort into drawing. Starscream gets knocked out of the air and crashes directly onto Megatron. This vexes Megatron.
Sky's normal again. Don't worry that there's still tinfoil there, don't even fuckin worry about it dude. Spike and Dirty-name touch back down. Round of applause for spike for throwing super good. Wheeljack comments that he's just happy it blew up the way it was supposed to. Cue uncomfortably long laughing. Megatron manages to roll starscream off him and calls for a retreat.
Back at the decepticon base, Megatron has an eyepatch and is skulking. Starscream yaps about how it makes him look like a proper tyrant, brooding and battle scarred, and, dare he say, darkly handsome? This vexes Megatron.
"use chatgpt" that's the devil talking. buy four caffeinated drinks and pull an all nighter. this is the way.
Havoc Marauder Interior
Someone made a post about this a while ago but apparently they de-activated so it is possibly lost to the mists of time. Here is what I put together for myself as a writing reference. Image heavy, meta heavy.
Last edit: 2024/10/29
Edits: Replaced garbage text layout with actual ship overhead. Realized the two concept art images face different directions. This likely explains the magical moving jump seats. Also added discussion of a cargo hold. Added discussion of ship dimensions (specifically length). Replaced old guesstimates with numbers from Dawn of Rebellion. Added commentary about the magical seat. Added comment about the belly airlock and updated the floor plan.
I think people under- and over-estimate the Marauder's interior potential. Given its overall size and intended use (transporting about 10-15 troops plus assorted equipment and providing air support in a forward area), there's not much room left for creature comforts.
Except the Batch aren't 10-15 people, they're 5, and the shuttle is referred to as modified numerous times. This leaves plenty of room to make assumptions and freeform. So, as to what we have actual, visual evidence for from episodes and concept art, here is a rudimentary floor plan:
An important point about the two concept art images: they do NOT face the same direction. The top image faces to the aft/back of the ship, i.e. the tailgun. The second image faces to the fore/front of the ship.
Number key:
1: We know this is where the ramp and door are located from War Mantle and Metamorphsis.
2: We know about this upper storage area from Cut and Run
3: The access to the tail gun has changed visual from TCW s07e02 and various TBB episodes.
4: Access to a floor hatch with a narrow, vertical 'airlock' can be seen briefly in Bounty Lost.
The Airlock
With thanks to @megmca for reminding me of this: there's a narrow, belly-hatch airlock. We see it briefly in Bounty Lost, when they attach to the escape pod Omega has commandeered and Wrecker brings her in.
For all of you wondering what airlock-access the ship has, this is it.
The Magically Appearing/Disappearing Seat
In Cut and Run we have this moment with Hunter and Omega, but in most other shots each of these consoles has only one seat (eg. Tech and Echo in prior frames). I think this is actually NOT a magically appearing seat. I think it's the other console seat, because I suspect they can be moved. I base this one this shot from Replacements:
That looks like a seat with a moveable base.
Obviously this is bad design for a ship which is doing barrel rolls and what-not, so I have to assume they're magnetically locked. Even if it is the same seat, in the shots right before that one above, Omega walks up and it's not in that space. So it's almost like the scene was longer and was shortened, and we missed a few frames of her or Hunter unlocking it and moving it over.
Meta Discussions
tl;dr: I think of the Marauder as a small fishing vessel or a van-conversion RV. You can put a lot into a small space if you get creative.
Bathroom I know the writers have made weird assertions there isn't one and omg they all smell gross from no hygiene but that makes zero sense. Soldiers are constantly under stress, they're getting injured, they need to stay clean when possible or they're going to get sick and die from a systemic infection in short order. Anyone who's glanced in the general direction of military history knows this. You can argue about clone expendibility all you want but the Batch minimally qualify in that regard, being Nala Se's pet project. Can you imagine losing one of them to a staph infection because there's nowhere for them to bust out some no-rinse antimicrobial soap or get their scalp clean? I'm not saying they'll be doing photoshoots in between missions (well maybe Hunter would ) but, come on. (And are you going to tell me Mr. Sensor Sensoria is cool with doing long hauls with 4 people who don't bathe? Just, no.)
But that much aside, anyone who's ever been in an RV, a commercial airliner, or a modest-sized sea vessel knows you can cram a bathroom into a tiny space. Yes, you're going to be spinning in circles doing things, but the benefits of a spot to clean up, manage waste, and tend to injuries far outweigh any other use of that area. So regardless of what the writers say, a transport without a minimal refresher (to use the SW term) is counter to the ship's designed use. It has to be able to accommodate Wrecker, of course, but in the end it can double as storage when not in use. There is zero reason to not have one. Added to this, we now officially have a length for the Marauder, which is 30.3 meters (see below). RVs which are 1/5 of that size have bathrooms. You're going to tell me the Marauder doesn't?
If nothing else, since the TCW episodes and the beginning of S1 have pointed to them going on extended deployments with long hops between stops, they're going to need one or constantly be handling waste in much less efficient and sustainable ways.
Added to all of this, it's specifically called a modified variant of an Omicron. We're probably meant to think this means 'Tech would like to fly faster than the GAR and ship engineers think is reasonable for a shuttle' but IMO it extends to changes like this as well. So, there's a refresher in there, feel free to choose a spot. Right across from the fold out racks is a good candidate because in most imagery it's just weapons storage, and there's an entire upper-deck space which you could use for that.
Galley Definitely not one of these. The Batch are eating rations any time they're not on Kamino. You can make an argument they (and all clone units) have cook kits for improvised eating in the field; in the Batch's case I suspect that's a given, as they'd just start doing it because who's going to stop them? Additionally, the sheer amount of rations you would need to carry around to feed Wrecker would be ridiculous. (Remember when Wrecker talks about never being full in S2E13? I feel like this is an indication they did and still do, in fact, have to improvise a lot of additional caloric intake. Hunter probably thought Cut and Suu's farm was a genius idea. 'Grow your own food! Wrecker will never be hungry again! Fucking incredible.' Then Tech got the ship impounded.) I think you can argue for one being added, like with the refresher. Do they actually need those weapons racks anymore? Definitely no. But, it's not on there by default.
Beds As you can see in the concept art above, there are at least 3 racks that fold out from the wall on the port side. They're at a minimum wide enough to accommodate Wrecker, they may also be long enough for him to not need to curl up (unclear because in this shot from Bounty Lost his knees are bent and he's hugging Lula):
Three is a weird number since originally there were four of them. I figure the options here are:
The pilot/copilot/second row seats all look 100% more comfortable than the racks. We actually see Tech sleeping in one, at one point, so this has actual evidence to support it.
It's war time, they're never all asleep simultaneously. Someone is always flying the ship or on watch.
The floor is in effect the same as a rack, arguably preferable as you can't fall off it in the event Something Happens while you're out. So, one of them might actually be ON the floor sometimes.
They're not really intended to sleep on the ship for extended periods, but narratively we're lead to believe they have, many times, and needed to make adjustments to it as a result. Notice how quickly Wrecker whipped up a bed for Omega? IMO, not the first time they've done something like that--they did it for themselves first.
Cargo Hold Based on that screenshot of Omega above and the below shot from Cut and Run, the 'hold' of the ship is actually a storage area overhead, running the length of the ship. In that shot above of the rack, there are a series of yellow rungs which imply you can climb up somewhere on the port side. This is probably alternate access to that same overhead storage space.
In Cut and Run we see Echo, Omega, and Tech hide in it, coming back out from a slide-open hatch:
Given Tech's height this is probably somewhere around 1.5m high.
We can be reasonably certain the hold isn't under the ship, or at least storage there is minimal, due to a couple of things:
In all instances where the hyperdrive has been pulled, it's under the ship on the belly, and takes up a reasonable amount of space. Eg., in Retrieval, here's a bunch of stuff which has been pulled from the ship:
In instances where they're working on the ship from the outside, like in Cornered, the sides and belly never have panels open which contain empty space unless the ship's hardware have been removed to reach something:
So, the cargo hold is probably that space on the top from Cut and Run. It doesn't have much room; reasonably speaking, the area with the weapons and sleeping racks was probably a cargo hold as well, they just converted it to a more general purpose area. (So IMO this is a stronger argument for putting a commercial airliner-style bathroom in place of the weapons racks, particularly once they bail on the Empire.)
Dimensions - updated 11/3/23 Dawn of Rebellion has a Bad Batch section, and indicates the Marauder is 30.3m in length, 36.65m wide (presumably with the wings extended, and 12.41m tall (this probably includes the central stabilizer).
I will edit this to update it as we get more pictures. Since the toys that I know of have no basis the show from an internal perspective I didn't include anything from them.
Image sources:
All screencaps by me. Use at will.
Marauder underlay
Bad Batch Concept Art, Marauder Interior
reblog to bap prev with your paw
I know I said in my post that the miners used to have a long-running bet about whether Orion Pax and D-16 would go through Conjunx Endura or Amica Endura ritual. And it's too funny to not elaborate.
The bet happens among miners on the same floor as Orion and Dee in the miner dormitory. The two are easy to recognize because:
Dee is known to be one of the best miners,
Orion is known to get into trouble first thing in the morning (as shown by the annoyed "Again" by one of the background characters when he landed on the train), and
they're always seen together.
Now, on to the bet. It started as a joke:
Some think Dee could do better for a mate and bet on Amica Endura (a bot can dream).
Others believe there's a reason Dee still hangs out with Orion even when Orion doesn't care about getting into trouble and bets on Conjunx Endura.
Jazz bets 3 to 1 that whichever ritual, it's Dee who would initiate first because he has a "more steady rhythm" than Orion's beat.
Elita-1, even if she's not in the same dormitory floor, knows about the bet because they're on the same team. She retorted it would be a million years before something ever happens between those two gobots.
Prowler thinks they'd eventually separate due to differences but doesn't bet. Sadly, this happened, which would've ended the bet.
But when the war with the Decepticons came, the bet was forgotten. They know Dee. They can't joke about it anymore, knowing he became their strongest enemy now.
But, oh, after MILLIONS of years, the Autobots and Decepticons are coming home to Cybertron for a common cause. The peace agreement was tentative at best. But slowly, they began adapting a pattern of norm.
Then, the autobot who had kept the record of bets stumbled upon their old belongings.
It only took one mention to the other Autobots before the stupid bet came back with full force on their now co-leaders.
B-127, now Bumblebee, finds out about the bet and says he bets they would be happy either way. (It's a wonder he hadn't accidentally blabbed it to Optimus yet)
Ratchet finds out about the bet. With a disapproving air, he declares, "I bet Optimus Prime would do the wise thing and go through Amica Endura first—is what I would say but knowing him..." he slaps a couple of shanix on the table, "20 to 1 odds he'd proposed first to that buckethead."
Optimus Prime felt a difference in their political meetings where they have to negotiate with Megatron and the Decepticons but he appreciates the newfound interest.
The Decepticons caught on to the bet.
Starscream surprisingly refuses to participate, but jeers that he bets Optimus would die from some self-sacrificial shit and Megatron would die from loneliness 3 cycles later.
The lull of the end of the Decepticon meetings are subtly taken as opportunity by some Seekers to know what's Megatron's thoughts on commitment.
Megatron is suspicious that they're up to something, but as long as they keep their nose cones clean, there wouldn't be any repurcussions.
(I'm sorry I'm not as familiar with other Autobots and Decepticons. Feel free to say what you'd think said characters would bet on👍)
If you think for one moment that I’m gonna believe that Season One Starscream is the exact same character as Season Two Starscream, you are sorely mistaken.
I want to rewrite the entire plot of the 2nd season of Earthspark:
1)Instead of Starscream, the main villain is Quintesson. (The whole season). That is, the Quintessons want to collect Emberstone, gain the power of Quintus Prime and destroy another world
2) Due to the fact that the Decepticons are not villains, we will have even more of their disclosures on the good side
3) And in the end, all together: Autobots, Malto, Decepticons will defeat the Quintessons
The Good ending. Peace, friendship, love 😘
LOVE when a video game protag is called a title. The Warden, the Watcher, the Exile…. Yessss be defined by a concept greater than yourself that will ultimately overtake your life
I did it once, and I’ll do it again!! Introducing,, the lil Jazzy man himself <333 🎷✨
Complete,, with the most incomprehensible pattern you’ll probably ever read somewhere down in the comments 😎🫶✨
Demon and Celestial beings Courting
Kidnapping
It was very used in the old times to kidnap the person a demon wanted to court, but in modern times that’s seen as a barbaric method and it has been changed quite a bit.
Demon courting human:
Demons will just ask their human partner to spend 1-2 weeks with them in a remote location, or just far enough away from populated areas.
Demon courting demon:
Demon A will either ask the family of Demon B if they can spend time alone with their love interest (promising to return if Demon B asks them to) or Demon A will do the same thing demons do with humans.
Courtship fights
Another thing really practiced outside of kidnaping is fights. The demon will either fight someone close to their love interest or fight their lover. This is the same for demons courting humans or other demons, and the fights are just merely excuses to show off how strong one can be in front of their love interest.
Courtship bracelets
Despite the name, courtship objects are not limited to bracelets or jewels and can vary from species to species.
Bird demons and water demons will often make objects with things they think are pretty. Like making a painting of scenery that they think their lover likes or that made them think of them, or necklaces made out of stones found in riverbeds.
Spider demons and a few other bug demons will weave silk or laces to gift to their love interest. The laces in particular can be woven to make strong armors or even magical artifacts. Sometimes these demons will also bring food with them but it’s usually simple things like pastries or homemade tea or honey.
Monkey demons, a few varieties of bird demons and onis will either make courtship bracelets, sing or perform a particular dance for their partners.
Predatory demons like lions, leopards, cougars and so on will make lavish meals, sometimes they even hunt or gather the resources they need themselves.
Dragons will gift scrolls containing incredible knowledge, magic artifacts, or just poetry. If the poetry is written by the gifter themselves, it’s seen as even more important than a scroll. A few types of dragons and water demons known as “ Jiaoren “ can also cry pearls and spin a type of raw silk known as “Jiaoxioa” which are also used as courting gifts.
But even when a demon gifts a courtship bracelet, jewels that were made by the demon who’s proposing are seen as more important than really expensive ones. Even when they are made of poor or simple materials like wood, copper, or even just cotton.
Nesting and other habits
The use of making nests was created because demons of old times used to live in caves for the most part and the nest were specifically made for the babies, so they wouldn’t get hurt in the rough floor, or for couples.
Nowadays, nesting is also used to show platonic affection and to comfort someone. Even just friends can join a nest as long as they were invited first.
However, nesting is not something that every demon does. Spider demons are especially contrary to them because they are used to using webs to catch their prays, and to them, a nest feels like a trap. Dragons and other cold-blooded demons prefer burrowing instead of nesting. which sometimes just results in them covering themselves with heavy blankets and pillows.
Another well-known habit is “markings”. Markings can be done in a variety of ways and don’t have to be necessarily a sexual thing, but they are still considered something that requires permission from both parties and is seen as illegal to do them without permission.
There are way more habits and customs than the ones I’ve listed, but they are very specific and change from species to species.
If you have ideas or theories please share them and I will add them to this post.
Edit: Some information regarding Jiaoren has been added
Did you ever write more to the "vader finds out that leia I'd his daughter" story?
No but it’s been percolating in my head for a while so let’s go
(continuing from this)
The first thing Vader does is cover his tracks. Wipes the security cameras for the whole cell block, wipes the prisoner logs, makes sure that no trace of Leia’s capture or escape will be in the files synced daily with Imperial Center. Puts in transfer orders for that nervous junior officer to somewhere very far away and very quiet. Saves only one short vid clip, to the secret hard drive hidden in his own respirator.
I’m Luke Skywalker. I’m here to rescue you.
While he’s doing this, his children (children! plural!) are getting themselves into trouble, and out again. Apparently the trash compactor was involved. He will have more footage to scrub. Somehow they’ve acquired a Wookie.
Kenobi is with them.
Vader should have foreseen this. Of course, Kenobi.
His presence saturates the Force, nearly drowning out Luke— and Leia, too, now that Vader knows to look. It’s enough to break Vader free from the chill of shock, his rightful fury seen as through a window right up until it shatters, and engulfs him again.
But he forces it back. He wants answers, before he kills Kenobi.
(I’m Luke Skywalker. I’m here to rescue you.)
He hasn’t played the clip again, but it echoes in his ears nonetheless.
When he faces Kenobi, Vader is still off-balance. Kenobi seems as calm, as unruffled as he ever did, though he’s far too obvious in buying time for Leia and Luke to attempt an escape.
Vader asks him: “Do they know?”
“You’ll have to be more specific,” Kenobi says, light and unconvincing.
“You kept them from me,” Vader says, and that is a thought that feeds the Dark, that lets him hammer at Kenobi’s saber until he’s nearly past his guard—
“I kept them from your master,” Kenobi says, his voice still even and pleasant and false, hardly betraying his exertion.
“I’ll kill you for this,” Vader vows.
“I expect so,” says Kenobi. “I swore I’d die before I let Palpatine harm another child in my care. If dying will keep them from him, it’s well worth the cost.”
(I’m Luke Skywalker. I’m here to rescue you.)
By the end of this speech Kenobi recovers a little of his old skill, turning Vader’s blows aside instead of merely bearing up under their weight. Too soon, Vader falters, losing the momentum of rage. They both fall back to defensive positions. Any living troopers have long since cleared the area; the whole deck is a ruin of saber gouges and shattered armor.
Vader rarely speaks without thinking. The nature of his breathing apparatus makes this a necessity, more often than not. But the words escape him anyway.
“Who named them?”
And now Kenobi is the one who falters. It is satisfying, if short-lived. “Their mother,” he says. “With her last breaths.”
A long time ago — a lifetime away — there was a list of names. Two lists, really, to start with, and then another of the names held in common to both. No record of it survives, not even on the hard drive hidden next to Vader’s heart.
On Naboo, children are often named for virtues. A child might be called Aluuk, for kindness, or Alié, for wisdom.
On Tatooine, a child’s name is the parent’s hope for its future. Perhaps Lukka would grow to be free; perhaps Leyah would grow to be fierce.
And perhaps they have. Vader does not know. Kenobi took that from him.
Vader won’t kill him yet, though. He still has questions.
here is a fun little star wars scenario that has been pinging around inside my head like a screensaver:
so let’s say there’s some very zealous, very low-ranking fresh young Imperial officer on duty the day they take the Senator from Alderaan into custody.
and he is very very nervous because a) he’s been here for like a week and b) none of that week required him to be in a room with Darth Vader. which he now is. so he is trying to focus very very hard on Doing Everything Exactly According To Protocol, as a means of not focusing on the seven-foot evil wizard standing fifteen feet away.
and part of the protocol for processing new prisoners is to make a new file for them in the prisoner database, and enter all their biographical details and vital statistics and a gene sample and their known associates and the nature of their terrible crimes against the Empire and so on. which he does! very meticulously!
except the computer keeps throwing an error message. the stupid thing keeps beeping at him, this awful grating little noise that makes his shoulders ratchet up tighter and tighter every time it honks at him, and he can’t fix it and Darth Vader is right over there—
except oh god oh fuck the beeping noise must be annoying Darth Vader, too, because he’s coming over here and our poor junior officer is convinced he’s going to die before he even lives long enough to send his first paycheck home to his poor widowed mother —
he stammers out an apology. Vader just stares at him. he swears he’ll figure out the problem right away, sir, it’s probably a bug in the system, it’s just that for some silly reason it keeps saying this gene sample doesn’t match the one on file for the Senator so he can’t get her logged as a new prisoner just yet —
“Dismissed,” says Vader. the poor kid flees, gratefully.
Vader considers the matter. in fact, his underling was correct: the gene sample, which he saw taken through his very own helmet lenses, does not match the official record of Senator Leia Organa, heir to the throne of Alderaan. so: perhaps the sample on record was falsified. not impossible, but very, very difficult. and ordinarily a crime attempted by the lowly and desperate. he cannot see any need for it, in the daughter of a queen.
another possibility presents itself. Alderaan has no history of using royal doubles, as some worlds do. but Bail Organa has worked closely with royal houses where the practice is long-established. perhaps he was inspired. perhaps the girl they captured is not Leia Organa at all.
Vader runs the gene sample against the ship’s database. it is woefully incomplete, of course, containing only a fraction of the Empire’s billions of citizens: the ship’s own complement, a selection of known criminals and Rebels they might encounter, high-ranking officials whose identity must be confirmed should the Emperor require their presence. unlikely that this girl, whoever she is, would have a record here, or even a partial match—
the computer beeps at him. it’s a cheerful beep, this time, not the error message that stymied the junior officer. the computer reports that the gene sample is a partial match for Pooja Naberrie, the Senator from Naboo. they are, with eighty-nine percent probability, first cousins.
and Vader just. kind of stands there. for a minute.
when he goes to Leia’s cell, there’s no interrogation droid with him. he goes in. he shuts the door behind him. he stands there, silent, for frankly a worryingly long time, until Leia has run through her entire stockpile of “how dare you, I’m a member of the Senate on a humanitarian mission” and “whatever you want, you can’t possibly think I would be of any help” and “well, if you’re going to interrogate me, get on with it already” and “are you even listening to me?” and falls silent herself.
Vader has been listening to her. he has also been listening to the Force, which seems to think that she’s not lying. obviously the humanitarian mission part is bullshit, that goes without saying. but the “I’m Senator Leia Organa” parts and the “I won’t help you” parts? yeah. he searched his feelings. he knows them to be true. the Force is singing in his head, bright and clear, in a way it hasn’t for nearly twenty years.
there’s still Tarkin to deal with, though. Vader turns and leaves the cell without a word.
Tarkin wants to blow up Alderaan. this is unacceptable, obviously, and Vader forbids it on the grounds that the Queen and the Viceroy possess vital intelligence, not disclosed to their daughter, that must be acquired. said intelligence being, not that he’s saying this out loud, how the fuck Bail got his hands on his daughter, and who else knows about it.
“the fate of the galaxy rests on it,” is what he does say out loud. from the way the Force harmonizes with his words, that might even be true.
so the Death Star just. parks there. in an incredibly threatening orbit around the planet. they issue a demand that the Organas surrender themselves, or else, but apparently the happy couple just left for a low-tech weekend retreat in the mountains, what awful timing, they’re sending someone to fetch them right away. Vader shuts himself up in his quarters, to seethe and watch the surveillance feed from Leia’s cell. he’s not really paying attention to much else.
and it’s not like a random freighter getting tractored in for being an incredibly obvious smuggling vessel is the kind of thing you’d alert Darth Vader over, anyway.
so he’s still sitting there, one great big thought filling up his whole entire head, watching Leia take a frustration nap, when her cell door opens.
and a trooper comes in.
and the trooper takes off his helmet.
and he says, “I’m Luke Skywalker. I’m here to rescue you.”
(continued here)
i don't know the etiquette for posting other peoples tiktoks but the delivery of this punchline hit me like a FUCKING TRUCK please
NikhilClayton <- you should follow this guy on tiktok he's fucking hilarious
you still swap even if it's not a person. if it's a chair you're a chair 👍
poll about swapping with you own icon here
הבל | hevel
This is how it goes: God whispers in Cain’s jealous ear, drawing his attention to the Sin crouched at his doorway. Sin has haunted eyes and a mouth that has been kissed. Let there be no doubt that Sin has been kissed, with a wet-red mouth that may taste of blood or pomegranate or the electric crackle of a stoplight. Cain looks at Sin. He runs his tongue over his teeth.
This is how it goes: Cain leaves the house at one am in bare feet and a hoodie, careful to avoid the last stair that creaks, and treks out into the Field. There are many fields in the world but there is only one Field. Cain feels the difference in the grass when he crosses the border from field to Field, the way the grey-green blades stand up at attention in his wake, the way the dirt turns ice-cold and furious beneath his heels. The earth is good with foreshadowing. The tree of Knowledge has deep roots.
This is how it goes: God says, I will take you or your brother.
God says, You get to choose.
And Cain says, “When you split me and my brother in the womb, you did not divide us evenly. He got kindness, and I got longing. He got complacence, and I got ambition. I want to kill him sometimes. I think sometimes he wants to die.”
I have never made brothers before, God explains. That is how I thought they were made. What more do you want?
“I want to steal some of his kindness,” Cain says, and shakes his pocket knife out of his sleeve.
Back at home, Abel sits up in his bed with a start, heart racing. That was close, he thinks, that was a damn close one, and does not know why.
In the Field, the ground warms as blood seeps into the dirt.
reblog to fucking bite the person you reblog from
Thanks! I'll probably send it from my regular blog @flockofcrowsinatrenchcoat (accidentally sent the ask from my other account lol)
Hi can I write a shadowpeach fic inspired by/based on your comic? /nf
Sure thing! But please tag me when you doit/ send me the link!
:]
you just got press crow'd. reblog to instantly press crow your friends