Cursed Be The Writer That Posted A 'and Everybody Died In The Most Gruesome Way Possible' Chapter On

a world without trans people has never existed and never will

prints

My fav books

Wolfsong (TJ Klune)

The Lightning-Struck Heart (TJ Klune)

Hero (Perry Moore)

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)

Ariel by Sylvia Plath

First morning I don't edit a chapter before breakfast in months. I'm feeling weird. Like there's this burning in my throat that just won't go away. I don't even want to eat anything. What is it I'm feeling? I always was horrible at being self-aware, so I guess I'll keep wondering...

Can't believe there's actually a finished version of the game! I'm so happy. Thank you so much.

playing hetaoni in 2024

@cookies-hetaoni thanks for your hard work on this, we had a blast

“The prettier the garden, the dirtier the hands of the gardener.”

— B. E. Barnes, Put in work.

TCIK Original Book Update #4

Give your book time.

This is the best advice I can give, really.

With just a few days of... not working on my book, at all, and doing other writing stuff, one character changed and became completely different than what I was going for at the beginning.

Frankly, it's WAY better.

I think I'm also grasping now my main character's feelings and actions, too. At another update, I said she read as this foolish girl that I was beginning to hate with passion. Now, I think she's found her footing at last, and the dialogue I'm tentatively putting out makes more sense, feels more in character with her.

When people think I'm a man they treat me better than when people think I'm a woman.

It brings me back to that one time I was on this school show, acting as an old, male historical figure. I welcomed the incoming kids from other schools and taught them this one little song. We all had a good time. But some of them (mainly the adults) kept asking me: are you a boy? Or are you a girl??

Like, the hell should they care?

I had short hair, kinda deep voice, just a teen, but my voice was high enough and my face feminine enough that it made them doubt.

And does that even matter?

Yes, it does. Because when I tell people I'm technically male, they bite their tongues and don't say nasty shit.

And while being nonbinary myself (and I can't care less about what other people think of my gender), I can't help thinking:

What horrible world for my sister to grow up.

I wish we can all make it a better place for women, one day.

Tried the Picrew thing

I was kinda surprised the nonbinary flag was even an option. Nice. Shockingly, I could actually portray how I look right now... (Gotta do something about that beard, though. Yesterday I was too lazy...)

This image was created with Picrew’s “makowka character maker II“!! https://picrew.me/share?cd=kpeHhy3iHq #Picrew #makowka_character_maker_II

C&D Book Update #7

So, I arrived at chapter 51/70 (second draft).

The plan is: 1) finish second draft (it's only about fixing things in red), 2) redo three specific things that aren't working, two of them entire chapters, 3) finish third draft (actually and seriously re-reading everything again), 4) finish the fourth draft (after at least a month of not reading anything).

But what I wanted to write here is this: I know, everyone must know this, but I feel like I'm feeling this in my bones now. How every character, even the minor and evil ones, are really a part of me. How I bled into every single one. And I realize now that THAT is what made writing C&D so painful. It made me raw, as if I picked up a sword and slammed it into my heart again and again, until I had enough blood to form a being. It damn hurts. But maybe that's why this book ended up so precious to me. Later chapters (I think 55+?) are my best writing ever, by far. And it's entirely because I dropped pretense and wrote with the worst of the shadows I've ever faced.

Maybe that's why writing the final chapters was so difficult. I procrastinated for like, 2 months?

But 2 needed months. If I had rushed, the ending would be shitty. "I have to trust the process..." a friend (who passed away) used to tell me this all the time. I guess he was right in ways I couldn't even fathom. I hope that smug bastard is smiling at me from whatever plot smug bastards go.