Thinking Of The Larger Context Of LOTR And Like, The Fellowship Swapping Old War Stories And Shit And

”are they a dwarf or a dwarrowdam?” girl they’re stealing your shit watch out!!

My three hunters modern au concept is they're three dudes who you cross paths with on every hike and they're always in the middle of a 16-20 mile day, but they always stop and give you directions and have a little chat about gear or the weather or the best swimming location nearby, then you see them at the bar nearest to the trailhead by 6pm. You always kinda assume at least two of them are gay, but you're not sure which, until you catch sight of them at a local pride event and realize it's all of them.

lotr but nobody knows anything about the other races

Pippin thinks Legolas is a woman

Boromir is convinced that the hobbits are all 15 max

Everyone thinks that Merry and Pippin are twins, except for Legolas, who is convinced the hobbits are quadruplets

Sam thinks that Aragorn, Boromir and Legolas don't have to eat to survive

Legolas doesn't mention things he sees or hears because he thinks the others have noticed them too and just assumes they have a plan

Pippin complains that he is hungry and Legolas just gives him a handful of grass. Pippin is so confused that he just takes it, and now Legolas tries to figure out what hobbits can eat by just giving them random shit, like

Things the hobbits have accepted and likely eaten later (a list by legolas)

-Grass - Leaves

-Stones - a hair tie

-A feather - one of Gimli's shoes

The hobbits and Gimli just assume that this is what elves eat

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

When people start following me I panic because I’m just here reposting stuff that I find funky or that I can use for story inspo and I want to get my own creations out too 😫

AHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS INCREDIBLE!!!!

the lovely Pangur commissioned me to draw some of @themarchrabbit‘s (Lapin) fics, in this case, A Thousand Stars I Wear, an adorable and amazingly interesting Fíli/Ori fic!!!

I like thinking about the study done discovering that homophobia is only found in the human race among all living species, and I like to apply that the middle earth too. I imagine Bilbo and Thorin going off to their room while in Laketown, the Master is just like “what good friends those two are” while the rest of the Dwarves are like “tf???”

The thing I love about shipping thorin/bilbo or any of the dwarves together is that it canonically makes sense that some dwarves would have male significant others. I think it’s like 1/3 of all dwarves are female? That number may be wrong, but we defintely know dwarrodams are very hard to come by so like… why wouldn’t some of the dwarves be gay? At the very least due to “supply and demand” issues? Homophobia just does not logically make sense looking at dwarven culture.

I love the hobbit fandom so much but please, my loves, my sweet baby pebbles, please… stop using really bad metal working analogies

Work hardened/annealed=

When you want to soften a metal to make it more pliable you heat it, this is called annealing. This is done when something you are working gets work hardened or develops tenseness that makes it fragile

So like.. if you’re writing some Bagginshield smut or fluff like you do (ha) you could say “Bilbo seemed to anneal under the heat of Thorins hands”

You’re welcome

- your local dwarrow jeweler

Me: *strapped to a chair in a cold interrogation room with a middle aged man pacing back and forth*

Him: *projects a picture of Sam and Frodo on to the wall* What is their relationship?

Me: Their ship is valid and very cute, but we should also consider the idea that their admiration and respect for one another is a deep, platonic bond. Love doesn't always have to be romantic, and it is important for men to be able to express their platonic care for one another in a way that toxic masculinity doesn't currently allow.

Him: Okay *projects a picture of Legolas and Gimli* what's their relatio-

Me: They're fucking.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/972440?view_full_work=true

I have a rly good feeling abt this fic, I haven't gotten to any character interactions yet tho, and it's unfinished, pray for me and anyone who reads this fic xoxo